One factor which used to make the run up to the New Year more interesting was the “I’ll stop…” rhetoric that pushes out almost every other agenda. In a way most of us must have believed inside us that we must throw our chips into the conversations with some, “I’ll stop…” confession. But then in case you don’t have some “I’ll stop…” you‘ll have some “I’ll start…” or something that sounds like that. “I’ll start reading fiction books.” “I’ll start small business…” or things like “I’ll buy car…” “I’ll marry my fiancé…”
One can say there are serial “I’ll stop…” commitment makers. Come a New Year and for the ninth time the guy tells you, “I’ll stop drinking in the New Year.” Of course he never sticks to his words it and you’re so fade up with the give-and-take you wouldn’t ask him, “Didn’t you say you’d stop drinking?” It seems perhaps “I’ll stop drinking…” and “I’ll stop smoking…” consist the highest number of vows made and broken with almost immediate effect. Probably many of us would know some people we could put in the ‘vowed and broken’ basket.
Quite many years back I had this friend for whom heavy drinking was not about abuse of anything but a lifestyle. He really drank, that friend of mine. Just to give you an idea on Saturdays and Sundays he starts drinking midmorning in his favorite hotel and by the time he lives he’d have practically demolishes an entire beer case. If you think that would be the end of the day’s story thumbs up for your innocence. But the morning all-out offensive on beer is only the beginning. He then jumps from one watering hall for the remainder of the early night and by the time he finishes no one would know the volume he put into his system; not even him!
What still confuses me about him was that you never caught him red handed drunk! He was not your typical drunkard who tries to pull his pants over his heads or acts like some Mr. Bean. One thing about him was that he never went to the mid night hours or anywhere close to midnight. By eight or a few minutes later he was off to his home. Now you might bump into him as he heads for home and you two talk as if he hadn’t a single gulp of anything alcoholic that day. You might even talk about school days and you couldn’t help yourself admiring his memory. Come morning and you say to him something like, “Look, after we talked last night I’ve been thinking about what you told me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten about it! I’m talking about that project you say you have thought about.”
“Wait, wait a minute here. “Are you telling me we two met last night?”
That’s when you’d throw up your arms. “Better if he was visibly drunk last night. You wouldn’t have talked anything serious if that was the case. Now I genuinely couldn’t remember how many times he vowed to stop drinking for good. Interesting was that he being a person who does or says things to make others happy he was serious as serious comes when he makes the vows; “I tell you this is the last time I’ll ever smoke. I’ll have no excuses.” Of course you drop by his home late afternoon on New Year day and he has already done away with half the pack of his favorite brand. Having left for the US I wonder what he’s doing with his life over there.”
By the way when we talk about this drinking thing there is this situation which worries me and many people I know. Like elsewhere in the world we too have age limits as to who can and can’t consume alcohol legally. From the little we know about the rest of the word in many places law enforcement bodies are serious in adhering to the rules. So while they are not places of ‘the angels and angels only’ and while in reality many of the youth drink like hell they at least don’t do it in public. Seeing drunk teenagers in the center of town scaring the hell out of everyone two-legged creature with their aggressive actions isn’t as bad as ours. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying in other places the youth are blessed with some heavenly intervention but for what we here they keep themselves away for the major parts of the cities where law enforcement is at its strictest.
Here things are bad. Unfortunately we hear that there are many behind the curtain abused with kids as young as fourteen and thirteen being allowed to drink as much as they like by greedy bar and restaurant owners. Sometimes you wonder how people can be so greedy as if they don’t have children or relatives that have children. We’re talking about a generation if we don’t handle with care would go down the tube probably bringing much harm to the society as a whole.
It seems society has taken it for granted that there is nothing more difficult that getting the kids in line and make them realize respecting the laws and regulations of the land is not about choice.
“I’ll stop …” might be easy on the lips; but walking the talk is a whole different story. There was this other friend who smoke anywhere from five or six to anywhere to as many as fifteen and it laid heavily on his financial means. For years he vowed to stop smoking as it was also affecting his health. But as we said such vows were easily said than done. Then one day we were walking by a small bridge in the city and he had this half- smoked cigarette in his hand. Suddenly he lets out a lot of air and throws it down to a very unsightly body of water below. You might ask, “And…?” And it worked. He had very trying couple of weeks but after that he never looked back.
It’s possible to walk the talk when it comes to the “I’ll stop…” vows. Commitment and a little pain during the transition is what it takes.
THE ETHIOPIAN HERALD SUNDAY EDITION 3 SEPTEMBER 2023