The past few weeks many of us were fixated with what was going on in the Middle East. A few of us a few days back were discussing about the events which unfolded and everyone were giving our own assessments. Maybe to our credit practically none of us thought the much talked and predicted about World War III would actually happen. You know many more external participants didn’t rush in on this or that side as much of the world at seeing the unthinkable happening. The unthinkable meaning seeing Israeli cities being directly pounded with such ferocity and all that! Yes, it was really scary and also real sad to see still so much destruction and loss of innocent lives. So much violence; so match pure, naked hatred; so much wishes for the heaviest destruction of the other side in complete disregard of the innocent lives that would be lost in the process; and so much verbal excesses which without doubt this world, even those boasting of sitting on the ultimate throne of civilization, have almost entirely lost the moral high ground!
Almost all of us were in agreement on most of the issues and the general conclusion was that despite the ceasefire holding at the time of the writing of this article, much more was yet to come. Maybe that is when we should really start worrying about the next world war! After exhausting this topic to which we probably would return sometime in the future we changed subject and started talking about memories. Quite a strange leap, wouldn’t you say?
I have to confess that I’m not that good in recalling all the things that happened way down in time. I mean when you meet school, chums after years of not seeing each and you get into small talk that’s when you find out that that there must be something wrong upstairs. At least there might be some dormant cells that need to be reactivated. It could be very embarrassing when you couldn’t’ even recall the names of your best chums in primary school. A couple of times I blurted out the wrong names and I could see the nerves on the faces of those old friends. Yes, ‘embarrassing’ is the right word to describe those things. So how do I manage when I come across old chums and I couldn’t recall their names?
Well, I’ve stopped mentioning names. I mean totally stopped! No need to torture yourself when you know that you’re not gold material when it comes to recalling names. Of course, the greetings might be as emphatic as any when old chums meet suddenly. But somehow I manage to have small talk on issues that need no recalling. Of course, the problem here is that when old friends of yester decades bump into you nine of the ten talking points would be about old times. That is when the real challenge comes. It is hard to come out of such stations unscathed, if you don’t manage wriggling your way out of such old issues.
“Do you remember that math teacher of us on grade four?” Grade four! Why do they have to go so far back in time? You don’t even recall ever having sat in any class that is dubbed ‘grade four’ let alone recalling your math teacher! And adding to that math was the very subjected you hated more than anything in this world. How can you ever remember the name of the subject you hated so much and ever understand what he was saying always practically turning the blackboard with all weird and not-necessarily-attractive symbols?
Say a very good friend asks you if you remember the girlfriend he had almost two decades back. What! Why in the world should I remember his girlfriend! “I’m afraid I don’t!” You couldn’t be any more diplomatic.
“What! Are you telling me you forgot my girlfriend?”
No wonder if you really feel a thousand ants crawling all over your anatomy. And the person who asked you might be a soft-skinned and easily offended soul. Offended because you couldn’t remember his girlfriend of two decades! Yes, believe it or not there are many who think along this line! Maybe I could have said, “How can you ask me such a question! Of course, I remember her! Don’t tell me I haven’t told you she was my favorite of the many girlfriends you had!” I can assure you with such an approach your weekend beer is secured; maybe with a kilo or two of the ‘three thousand birr a kilo’ raw meat. Many not necessarily thinking about the weekend beer go down that line of only to keep friendships intact.
Look when it comes to memories, things aren’t as black and white as some of us make them to be. After all memories couldn’t be stuffed in one big box and pulled out one by one with ease. Isn’t that the real problem! The fact is there are memories you’d be comfortable with even if they crowd the whole of your brains. The happiness they could generate is worth it.
And then there are ‘the other’ memories. Those you wouldn’t want to think of even for the smallest fraction of a second. You would like to completely shut them out in the darkest and deepest part of your brain. As if life wasn’t throwing more than enough mud balls at you there is no need for more frustration, because frustration is one of the real maladies bad memories burden you with. But unfortunately by some shrewd turn of fate the bad memories seem to be rushing to the finish line while the good memories are still warming up!
I mean you could have memories of so many things if you are not like me who forgets even the names of his very dear school chums. You could pick up one of those self-help books which could tell you that you and you have complete control of your mental facilities and steer them the way you like! Despite all the medical jargon, they make it appear as a very easy undertaking and all you need is the snap of the fingers to get into the good memory mode. No it isn’t that easy. At least they should tell us it demands effort and perseverance to achieve the goal of making our brains the untainted resting place of good, and only good memories!
BY EPHREM ENDALE
THE ETHIOPIAN HERALD SUNDAY EDITION 29 JUNE 2025
