A close friend was all over himself recently when he thought he was playing a role things trying to bring together a couple who have fallen on bad times but ended up being accused of being part of the problem and not a problem solver asked to get involved. What! Yes, and he didn’t just crush any door and rush in.
He was asked by both the parties to be part of a team of mostly elders trying to repair the damaged relationship. Now the guy believed in saying whatever he thinks and rather takes it as one of the more important principles of his life. Not a very common stance these days, is it?
Though he had some prior knowledge of the dispute, he didn’t know the full story. At the reconciliation event, elders avoided probing deeply, but he boldly raised a sensitive, often unspoken issue.
He started by saying he knew the couple for all the time they were together and that he was shocked to hear about their dispute and he goes right on asking what the actual reason was. The elders were visibly uncomfortable so were the couple too! Both mumbled things they couldn’t agree on issues and one blamed the other of not being honest and things like that. In fact they said nothing as too the real reason! So what does our guy do? He goes in for the kill.
“Are you facing any problems in your sexual life?” What! What the hell was that! He says that was the feeling he clearly read on the faces of especially the elders. You know what they say is one of the biggest problems trying to mend the broken fences between couples they seldom come up with the real reasons for the disputes.
Decades ago, at my workplace, a broken typewriter disrupted daily tasks, leaving typists idle. Amid this, a strikingly elegant young woman stood out well-dressed, chauffeur-driven, and seemingly from a magazine cover.
Despite her friendly nature, social interactions were limited. The disconnect wasn’t her fault, but stemmed from a visible contrast: her high-end fashion and confidence versus colleagues’ modest clothing and self-perception. Most could only manage a quick “Hi!” before withdrawing. Her presence highlighted unspoken divisions in appearance, lifestyle, and social comfort, making genuine connection difficult in an environment shaped by subtle class and cultural differences.
In fact the talk in the offices and corridors of the place was how in the world did she ended up in that place where the pay, many considered, was worse than chickenfeed. I mean probably whatever any pay she takes must be for fuel expenses of the cars that ferry her to and from work. Of course, later when one day she suddenly goes home and never returns it was discovered she was there to gain experience from a few young ladies she confided to.
Why in the world did I mention he and what does she have to do with our topic?” Well the organization practically refused to buy a new typewriter or have the old one mended. It’s her where this lady jumps in and informs the organization she was willing to buy them as many new typewriters as they needed. Did the brass upstairs jump with joy?
Yes they jumped, but not with joy; they jumped with frustration! I mean such a well-intentioned and well-meaning young lady should at least have ended with a few stars on her shoulders, or at least a public an official acknowledgement. Neither happened! In fact, she was accused of some sinister thoughts.
The young lady just takes the safe way out. On day she goes home after work and never returns. She didn’t even go through the formal process of resigning. Not much later she flies out west. Even after her resignation, the brass continued accusing her of some secret intention and she came to the place to disrupt the workings of the organization.
It is sad to note that once you are between the teeth of powers which are not comfortable with your stance and your involvement gives them a way for the incompetent beings they are, then you’re in for a lot of trouble; Even the very person who showered you with all the praise a few days back gets back at you as if the praises never happened!
“You yourself praised me just a few days back! I can’t believe you are turning on me now!”
“Did I say praise you?”
“Yes, you did.”
‘Then there must have been something wrong at the time I said that. You know, things happen.”
“Are you trying to tell me that you didn’t mean it when you told me of my achievements?”
It’s sad that achievements and what you can call victories of one sort or another aren’t appreciated the way they should have been! Of course, I do not mean this is a universal state of mind. But it happens quite a lot and it does nothing to encourage people to give nothing but their best in any endeavors they are involved. Sadder is when ‘problem solvers’ are accused of being part of the problem.
BY EPHREM ENDALE
THE ETHIOPIAN HERALD SUNDAY EDITION 13, July 2025
