“What the heck is he talking about!”

Ephrem Endale  Contributer

 “I don’t like him.”

“Why? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that guy. You must have some good reason to not like him.”

“He’s a complete dude. He doesn’t have any sense of humor.”

“Sorry, did you say sense of humor! What was that about?”

“The guy has no sense of humor! Have you ever seen him smiling let alone laughing?” I mean come on, you just can’t smile or laugh over anything and everything just to act as one of the nicer guys. Why do I feel there is too much of synthetic laughter these days? I’m not talking about the diplomatic smile and laughter which must be the rule of the game. But let alone smiles and laughter taking part in group discussions is not a plus for some of us out here; the downside of this is that many can’t feel comfortable with the likes of you (and probably me, too!) around!

The entire group is suspicious of you. Why? Well because almost everyone will have something to say and you’re always the silent one. “Why is he always silent? Is he spying on us?” No comment in an age where it seems what makes you a human being is ‘commenting’ on one or a hundred and one issues. How do you think they should feel with such a behavior in an age where everyone acts as if it will be doomsday unless we and only we are heard! Socializing is one thing; but saying something for the sake of saying something might not be a very wise idea.

You see too many people making fools of themselves just trying to be part of the crowd, I mean a good listener can be part of the crowd as fully as a good talker, (what!) is supposed to be.

I more than once have found myself in situations which while they don’t surprise me, made me uncomfortable. Now your writer here is the last person you want to make part of a boisterous team where everyone wants to push all others offstage and talk, talk and talk. Not very particular talkers, the likes of me could never be the lives of the party, if you know what I mean.

But then let’s call a spade a spade, shall we? There are many out there who shouldn’t be talking much not because their voices aren’t musical or anything like that; but because they don’t know what the heck they’re saying! Of course they think they know everything! There’s no more slippery ground than thinking you know everything when you actually know nothing! I mean when someone who doesn’t know what actually is going in their neighborhoods try to give you some Ukraine 101 course it isn’t a very nice scenario, is it?

I’m sure you recall the media blitz a few weeks back when they sent the ‘alarm’ that the Euphrates is drying out. Someone should write some book about what transpired during those days. There was this supposedly learned guy who always wants to be in the spotlight; and he’s almost always in the spotlight! Those around him must be a bunch of something that they’ve already crowned him some sort of ‘the brightest man on earth’ sort of a champion! The fun is that people who have some idea of things are always uncomfortable in his presence because at any moment something like, “No, you’re lying!” sort of outburst might slip all the way down their tongues; and that is the easiest way of losing friends!

Well about this Euphrates thing this guy was telling a group that it will completely dry out in the first quarter of 2023. Maybe it would. Maybe he got some ‘info’ from yonder. Maybe he might have been hitting the betel too much in those days. I mean with the end of the world around the corner there is nothing to lose by drinking yourself unconscious, except of course, your consciousness! Someone was telling me the guy doesn’t even have any idea as to the real location of the river.

But let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and the guy thinks the drying out won’t be a natural process. He supposedly said there were some ‘Secret Society’ activities to ensure that it dries out soon so they can build the sort of society they’ve been devising for ages!

I’ve got a problem here. How in the world can ‘they’ build even any small raw-meet-fans group let alone an entire society when all of us are expected to ‘dry out’ along with the Euphrates! Come on, no Houdini can convince us there would be a way through which that happens! And the funny thing is that he used the term “I think…” He thinks! He even told the group that there are only a few months before Judgment Day comes knocking; and the fellow doesn’t know where the river is located! Something is very wrong here?

I mean when someone acts as if they are immune to the whole thing you can’t help wondering if they have got some piece of paper with strange language scribbled on it in one of their pockets. Aha! You might be saying “What the hell is this dude talking about?” Well thanks for the ‘dude’ comment and I’ll tell you what I’m talking about. A couple of months back I was this old time buddy of mine who for decades resided somewhere across the Atlantic and a year or so back he returned home for good.

We were talking about no particular issue over coffee (and nothing more!) when he told me that he goes around with some protection in his pockets. What! He’s not telling me he’s carrying some gun or something in broad daylight. No it was not a gun or anything like that. It was a piece of paper on which some “Wise Man’ has scribbled something in a language my buddy couldn’t understand; in fact he isn’t sure if it indeed was a real language! He offered to show me the strange characters on the piece of paper and I refused. Why! I don’ like such things. You might say “Don’t tell me you believe in such things?” Well it isn’t about believing or not believing. It is such in the culture we grew up in such things send the shivers down the spine. No need to play the hero!

What however really jolted me was that my buddy being well-educated and having lived for decades in a society which prides itself of being modern in every sense of the term believes some piece of paper in his pocket will serve him as some personal Patriot missiles. Maybe it does protect him.

Look, I’m not enthusiastic about watching most interviews these days for more reasons than one. In the first place many interviewers don’t seem to have done their homework thoroughly. It must be because I want to be placed on the side of the nice ones that I used the term ‘thoroughly!’ I mean ‘thoroughly’ means there is at least some work done. But most of them just scribble the same old, tired and worn-out questions which sound so bland and useless and pose them as real questions! I always say how can you ask your guest his name and where he works when the interviewer has already introduced him and told viewers where he works! You can sit through and hour of interview and finally ask, “Does anyone understand what this guy has been saying?” because the fact is that most interviewees show no substance at all except the nice tie and suit with the big tag still on one of the arms. The story is also with the ‘guests’ quite a number of whom have absolutely no idea what they are talking about except that they are in front of the cameras!

When the time comes where we hear less of the “What the heck is he talking about!” question things might start making sense!

The Ethiopian Herald January 15/2023

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