The ‘Inner Voice’

Recently, I was watching some channels dealing with real life crimes. And this murderer who looks like he came to this world only for that purpose was being asked what made him commit the double heinous crime. Without the faintest shade of any emotion, he answers something like, “I don’t know; my inner voice must have told me to do it.” Maybe he was making everything up; or maybe he was telling the truth about the ‘inner voice’ thing. But one thing is sure, your inner voice might not be a real chum of yours; I mean like the type which seeks only you’re good. “Look we came to you because you’re a good person. We wanted you to benefit from the project.” Nothing could be any more tempting!

Decision time; you have to make up your mind. The two guys have made you a proposition to join them in some plan where money was there for the taking. Money! Nothing sounds more musical these days; does it? The fact is for more reasons than you can count you need quite a lot of it. So anybody coming with plans where you could make six-figure bucks in a short time is your savior. Six figures just like that! At least so you think. ‘Welcome my savior!’ And you’re not alone. Here is where your ‘inner voice’ jumps in, uninvited of course. “What are you waiting for you moron! Say yes or some smart guy would snatch it away right from under your nose!”

But then they haven’t told you the details! There must be quite a lot of work. Six figures isn’t something someone throws in the trash can and you just pick it up! There must be some heavy lifting to do. So you quiz yourself “Should I join them or shouldn’t I?” And, like your ‘inner voice’ warned they, too, have told you there are others waiting to take your place. But then that nagging thing comes; “How can I agree to something the details of which I don’t yet know?” Every cell in your anatomy feeling heavy you cook up some lame excuse promising, “Maybe next time I’ll join you.” Who said anything about any next time!

Your ‘inner voice’ echoes from your every part, “What! You just throw out that much money just like it’s a rotten tomato or something!” The torment of the ‘inner voice’ is that there was no way to shut it up. “Look, everyone knows you’re not a particularly brilliant person; but who could have suspected you were that crazy!” If you think ‘the inner voice’ is powerless then you haven’t experienced it during tough decision time. It could send you to the nearest watering hall faster than you blink an eye!

Back home with all your troubles, headaches, stomachaches and every ache in the medical dictionary ‘welcoming’ you once you pass through the door what happens is, well, you just hate yourself! That’s what happens…you hate yourself! “How could I throw away such Godsend luck? I should have listened to my inner voice!” Maybe you should have.

A few days later you hear the two guys have made almost half a million and split it between themselves. Half a million! “What the hell was I thinking?” This time it’s not your body’s ‘household’ aches which torment you. It’s some kind of ache which you couldn’t even explain to your doctor! You could at least have gotten a hundred and fifty grand. “Oh life, how could you be so cruel to me? What sin did I commit of deserve such a mishap?” Take my word; it could be a highly tormenting feeling.

Then a couple of weeks later this call comes.

“Hey; how are you doing?”

“Fine! When was the last time you phoned me?”

“Now don’t get into that again. I called to ask you if you’ve heard about those two guys.”

“Which two guys?”

“The ones who made you that proposition…”

“Oh, I’ve heard that they made quite a lot of money.”

“That’s the only thing you’ve heard?”

“What do you mean? Did I miss something?”

“They got that money tricking some unsuspecting guy and when he found out what they did to him he reported to the police.” The beating of your heart is so audible that it almost sounded as soft knocks on the door.

“And…”

“And they have been arrested. You’re one lucky guy. By the way, do you say your prayers daily?”

Your thoughts have gone into all sorts of spins and you’ve stopped listening to him. Does that mean I’d have been in prison too? “Sorry what did you just say?” So your ‘inner voice’ almost threw you all the way down to hell!

Say, someone with a little too much alcohol in his system badmouths you. Of course tipsy or not, anyone calling you names isn’t someone to tolerate. But with ‘conflict’ awaiting you at almost every corner these days, you do your best to get into another one. “Ok, this guy is probably a complete nerd and I’m not going into any fight over this.” But then your inner voice isn’t going to let you get away that easily. “What! He’s calling you names and you’re just turning your back? You good for nothing coward!! At least put him on the enemy list!”

Enemy list! Did your ‘inner voice’ tell you to put the guy on your enemy list. But there are so many of them you can’t squeeze another one in! And what is more almost ninety-nine to one the persons themselves put their own names on your enemy list! And your ‘inner voice’ tells you to add another one? No, ‘inner voice’ you’re on your own.

The Ethiopian Herald June 19/2022

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