Everyone involved made everything they could possibly do to prevent the bridge from giving in altogether and the bricks and concrete ending in the deep sea with no return. The big fish would make sure that no one made the return trip! Yes, the bridge as badly damaged as it was few, if any, knew there were even any cracks. Their shock when they finally found out the real condition of things was not expected.
So the rush to act while there was still time was in motion without delay. They were the living incarnations of heavenly angels and the marriage was supposed to be a lifetime blessing and not just another contract on a few pieces of papers which are torn and thrown away when passions, largely, physical, things go into the lower gears.
The reasons for the conflict were not clearly laid out on the table and that made efforts to bring reason into the whole affair very difficult. But people continued trying. Was there the wish to make things right again on both parties. Well, no one could say with any confidence either they were or they were not. But whatever reasons, the expectations were that both fairly tutored, educated with all the faculties to tell the rational from the irrational only a few hours of face to face talk between the couple would solve things and everyone would go home for a good night’s sleep. That never happened.
In fact both sides became even more aggressive and finally everyone gave up. No sooner had the divorce papers were finalized but were seen with new partners about town. Does that say anything as to the real reasons behind the controversy which finally led the breakup of a marriage expected to remain intact and strong for a lifetime? Shouldn’t there have been some meditating time before being seen out in the open with new partners? Search me.
Maybe, just maybe, some relationships were meant never to heal once wounded. Of course, it could be a little bitter to swallow such facts. But they are facts and there probably is nothing you could do about it. Accepting this fact and trying to keep oneself away from disputes that have no chance of being solved could heavy on the conscience knowing that one is turning their backs on a house in crisis. It’s not about throwing the towel into the ring; it is about confronting the reality with all its toughest edges. If you ask me I wouldn’t try to sound like an angel down on earth for a visit or whatever. The facts are the facts and however nice you’d like to be there are things you just couldn’t reverse.
I think that while mostly damaged bridges could be mended, especially between individuals. But, truth be told and there are instances where there are relationships you just couldn’t repair. It might not be about principles beliefs or things like that. It might be that both sides of the dispute are so bent to keep away from each other there is nothing under the sun you can do.
So why should anyone just blow away precious time and energy over something which might need another millennium to correct. Luckily AI or no AI since no mortal would live that long no one would pester you with things like, “Give it some time and sooner or later they would come together.” Hey, it has been proven in a hundred and one instances that it’d never work! No! Not me!’
The reasons which push people apart could be, for lack of a better word, the stupidest reasons even kids would have called them for what they are. There is the story of these three sisters. The story is that sometimes in their younger years there was a fallout among them. For decades none of them spoke with each other. The sad part was that no one actually knew what really tore them apart.
It is not that you don’t want to play the peacemaker role. It is not that you are not with a nice and compassionate heart. It is that you know you just can’t mend it because it is so hopelessly broken up. Years of attempts by multiple parties from close relatives to even the clergy to bring them together failed over and over again. None of them were in the mood to mend fences. The tragedy, however, didn’t end there. All three of them had children and they, too, never spoke to each other. Of course, such things don’t happen out of the blue. Their mothers must have played some part to ensure that their kids wouldn’t socialize with the children of their own flesh-and-blood sisters! Sadly all the three sisters are no more alive, May God bless their souls.
Later on bits and pieces of what supposedly was behind the fallout started slipping out. The two eldest ones bore their first children in their early years and only a few months apart. Both were girls and it so happened an American couple wanted to adopt at least one of the children. They gave the chance to the parents of the kids to decide which one should go. It was not only a tough question but also a very difficult one in that no parents want their kids to lose on such a chance.
Not that they didn’t love their children. But their economic status not being that comfortable and the chances of bringing up their children with all the attention and the necessities children need not happening anytime soon they were open to the request of adoption by the ferenjis. They have been promised that their contacts with their child will be as frequent as possible with the children visiting the motherland and the parent travelling to America. Of course, though not poor they were not the types of families who would have considerable funds left over. So the chances of their children being educated in America, a country which, in those days seem to be the next thing to heaven was nothing but a blessing. (There are some who still think America is the next thing to Heaven!)
The parents couldn’t come to a decision as which child should go. There were various suggestions as some sort of a lottery, or giving the final word to the clergy and the like. Nothing worked. The frustrated American couple, so it was said, dropped the matter. Then the two sisters stopped talking to each other blaming each other for the failure. Isn’t that shocking! Now, why the third sister was involved in the whole thing is still a mystery.
Anyways, giving up on trying to mend relationships which couldn’t be resolved and saving precious time and energy isn’t being heartless; it’s being realistic. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work! End of story.
-The Push to the Walls!
I’m going to play the interviewer of some Big Guy just for today. How about giving some ‘untouchable’ fellow up the ladder a hell of a day if only for the heck of it! For us down there on the lowest rungs that could be tempting. I mean when you are the interviewer you are supposed to have the cards in your hands and the interviewee should play by your rules. Isn’t it nice!
I, the interviewer am in the office of some Big Boss. How could I tell you the time and energy I’ve to sacrifice to convince him talk to me? Why? Well, I am not an investigative guy but that doesn’t mean I’d not try to pin him to the wall if I ever get the chance. I have some juicy information about all the alleged abuse and mistreatment of staff in the organization he heads. So while my passion could be justified, as might dig up stories which might create tremors, his hesitation could also be justified, in his own way, because keeping me at arm’s length would be the safest thing to do to save his skin. But I have to admit I had a few tricks into convincing him to face the camera. I told him I wanted the public to be aware of all the wonderful things being accomplished in his organization and that was enough to convince him to let down his guard.
As I sat in his office and my camera crew were setting up their hardware, I couldn’t help being mesmerized by the quality of the furniture in the office, the paintings across the walls, and the general ambience of the office which would push a five star VIP suite into second place. If office told the story of the whole organization well you’d think this must be one of the best organizations on this side of the continent. I have never seen such sofas and chairs so flamboyant and other-worldly I must have hesitated to put my very ordinary anatomy into one of the chairs. The Big Guy sat making himself as comfortable as possible in a big leather chair which probably could also have served as a most soothing bed. Maybe it does!
Now I’ve to confess that I have misled him into making him believe that I wanted to let the public has some idea of all the good things that is being accomplished in that organization. I had no such defeatist idea. Of course, the only ‘good’ things I have noticed so far, if these are ‘good things’ are all the five-star furniture in his office. I must have quizzed myself “How the hell does an organization which for the last three or four fiscal years fell heavily into the red so much so that they needed the financial lifelines to keep the afloat afford to throw so much money into so much luxury. I can tell you if I ever find myself with an office and furniture like that abandoning them would be the very last thing on my mind! No way! So, if you happen to be working for any organization I preside over better think twice before you ever do anything to make me not only angry, but even slightly uncomfortable!
Now, the Big Guy was either the nicest guy I met in the last decade or he is an Oscar material actor. He was all smiles! Would you believe that! Not many ‘Big Guy’ fellows wear so bright smiles on their faces with which they spend three quarters of an hour in front of the mirror every morning. There was no hostility you’d have expected from someone who would have suspected “I hope this guy doesn’t have tricks up his sleeves to make me say things I shouldn’t.”
Q: – Sir, I primarily would like to thank you for accepting my request for an interview… (I go into all that nonsense which has nothing to do with the actual interview because it seems to have become with most such interviews.
I mean, you have all the time in the world when he agreed to talk to you to shower him with all the right adjectives to prevent him from having second thoughts and throwing the whole thing out of the window.)Now his next action would be important in telling me what he thinks of me! If he gives me any worth he’d probably have some nice words like “I am glad you invited me…” or things that sound close then I’d say “Bingo!” until, of course I start pulling the harder questions when he’ll probably have too much pressure in his blood vessels working overtime across his forehead and elsewhere across his anatomy.
A: – Thanks for inviting me. (Aha! that’s hitting the bull’s say, wouldn’t you say. otherwise he wouldn’t have such nice words for some guy not even impressively dressed let alone have those twinkles across the face which would have led keen observers to wonder, “Only five and four star stuff and nothing less!)
Q: – Sir, could you tell me how your organization is faring at present? (I’m asking this question not only to soften the Big Guy but my editors might demand it. If you wanted to pick some sort of fight, verbal or whatever, you don’t have to rush to throw the first blow! You must give the other party to feel comfortable with relaxed nerves and that initial smile still pasted on his face.)
A: – (You would think if there was any other happier person with a few thousands of square kilometers you would walk an entire continent and an ocean or two to see them in person. My interviewee appeared so happy that I, the interviewer, would have been pardoned to think “Some outer power must have whispered to him the nicest thing he ever heard in his life; or else such brightness of the tens of millions of cells is almost humanly difficult to manage!)
Well I have to say it has been a very good year. (Sorry, a very good year? really!) We are striving hard to increase production and the workers are giving all they have to make our annual plans to be realized. (Look, of the smart guy keeps on with this tone, sorry, but I have to bring my big guns into play! I could imagine the speed at which all the smile would be washed away!)
Q: – There were complaints made to our editors that there were problems in the organization. (A blown up bulb wouldn’t throw you into complete dark with such speed! The Big Man’s was an hour and more into midnight. Is he already beating the war drums?)
A: – What complaints? (Things are heating up and I’m thinking how to go about it. Would I keep on pushing him to the walls or would I give up because my editors might not be interested enough and throw the whole thing in the wastebasket? This interview might continue the way I planned or the way the Big Guy would want it! Still waiting! The push to the walls isn’t very nice and maybe few interviewers want to play the hero! What the hell I’m talking about! )
THE ETHIOPIAN HERALD SUNDAY EDITION 18 MAY 2025
