“White-collar muggers!”

Look, this world loves this thing about ‘political correctness.’ In many instances that might be exactly what we need. But then do we’ve completely run away from calling a spade a spade? Take corruption; It’s a criminal act of the worst type and we don’t seem to call the corrupt some real heavy hitting name; you know something like “White-collar Muggers!” Ha! Where in the world did I get that from?

Anyways, there is this breed that is making life real difficult around here; the gossip-mongers! Why is it that we seem to have far more than our share of these people? Yes, they’re a breed. Of course it is not that every other guy in the streets is one of such people. But I can tell you there are too many of them around to give you all kinds of discomforts. People thriving on nothing but gossip! And the usual understanding that such behavior is the result of not enough education might have worked once upon a time; times when the well educated were aware of what society expects from them and tried to deliver. No more! Times have changed. I just hope that I’m not just breaking these to some of you. Times have changed and a lot of things have changed with time for better or worse. We’ve too many highly trained souls whom you could catch in the act as they spew the crudest of gossips around.

Yes, there is mostly about politics; and believe me they really cause great damage. They poison your mind so much so that it isn’t unlikely that you think the other side was run by strange creatures. And all these time they are not talking about policy choices or real political affiliations; but stories which are staples of every day gossip.

“Have you heard the story about the guy who is member of such and such group?”

“No I haven’t; what happened to him?”

“It is not what happened to him; but what he’s trying happen to us!”

“Sorry; I’ve lost you.”

“The guy’s party membership is a cover story; he works for such and such foreign group.”

What! He’s working for a foreign intelligence group! You just had lunch with him the other day. Without any exaggeration your heart is stuck at the base of your throat. How’s that you’ve missed such a story for so long while boasting nothing that happens in this country evades you.

“How did you know?”

“Well we’ve been following his moves and a few nights back we caught him red-handed.”

No; no! This can’t be happening. He is not only a mole but is caught red-handed! Then reality hits in the most uncaring manner. You had sat for lunch with him just the other day! Do this people think you’re part of some foreign network? A disturbing question in these tough times.

“Can you tell me how you came to prove your suspicion?”

“Well, as I told you a few days back he was in this plush nightclub dancing with a white woman.”

“So…sorry; just to get the facts; the guy is known for hitting the city’s nightclubs. And for me that’s not breaking story.”

“Aren’t you listening to what I’m telling you? He was dancing with a white woman!”

“Sometimes I too dance with white women. Does that make me a mole?”

“You’re not getting it…”

“Ok; who’s this white woman? I mean she must be somebody for her to raise so much hot air.”

“We don’t know who she is and we don’t care! The fact is…” the only way to stop the acid volcanoes from erupting all of your anatomy is to stop listening. Just pretend you are interested and let the guy run out of his adjectives. Because, after ‘the information’ the adjectives are sure to follow! By the way while we’re at it you know what I Sometimes think? Someone should come up with smart mikes; not smart mikes that could catch every sound from a mile away; but smart mikes which just fall silent every time some dude says stupid things. Wouldn’t that be great? Because the stupidity that is spewed over the mikes is leading us to think “Is the art of speaking over for us?”

By the way don’t you think that “White-collar Muggers!” thing I mentioned earlier could be of use in many instances!

Ephrem Endale: Contributer

THE ETHIOPIAN HERALD SUNDAY EDITION 29 MAY 2022

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