Sometimes back there was some trivial misunderstanding between best friends. Incidentally, it’s unfortunate that we hear too many stories of fall outs among friends these days. Even friendships you thought were stronger and more enduring than the Berlin Wall just crumble overnight like what they call the house of sands. In fact many of us now and then raise the issue and quiz ourselves, “Why is all this happening?” The answers could range from politics, economics, cost of living, the loss of the moral high ground etc. to the Biblical and even the occult. The religiously sensitive believe there is no riddle to the state of things; “It’s the curse from the almighty! There are too many sinners in our midst.” There were times people categorized such explanations with people of low educational standards and even outright illiteracy. Though it’s rather difficult to come up with any numbers the case is not the same these days. We come across highly educated people who believe that it must be that… a curse! Well, who knows, maybe it is! But the million dollar question is that aren’t’ there places where the most horrendous of sins have been committed and yet they seem to enjoy uninterrupted sunshine.
Anyways about the friendship that is no more, the talk is that the issue that triggered the whole thing was so trivial you’d expect it didn’t deserve more than a few sentences. But one of them doesn’t think so. He takes things so seriously he does the unthinkable…he turns his back on his friend; sort of hitting back when there was no any hit in the first place. Hitting back is about some reply for some pervious ‘hit’. Simple! But in this case there was no such thing. The other guy did nothing to warrant any reaction from his friend.
What got my attention here more than the actual falling out was that some people close to the two justify the action by the one who decided to break up. What! How can anyone justify such actions while the other side has done absolutely nothing, How could you justify the demise of a friendship that endured through rain and shine!
Then there are those who wouldn’t want to think about cause and effect, but are after stealing the spotlight. They’ve to be in the spotlight; it’s what you can say is their life’s calling; and they are willing to say or do anything that would allow them to achieve their goals. Let’s say some Romeo turns his back on his Juliet.
“You know, he dumps his fiancée after all she has done for him! Isn’t that cruel?”
Now anyone who has inside knowledge of the relationships and knows about the trouble the lady went through trying to help her fiancée on his two feet feels an unpardonable wrong has been done to the biblically innocent young lady. The lady was as ready as any would-be bride would be; she’s his wife, he’s her husband; period!
But then as many stories of real love and affectionate relationships unluckily end, this too crushes on the rocks without any warning! What happens is that the guy just walks out of the relationship. In fact he didn’t walk out in the literal sense; he just stays away from her refusing to answer her calls and respond to messages. It is not long before the real story breaks; he’s already involved with another woman. (By the way, I’ve to admit there’s some real life story in it, one this writer knows about.) Many who know the story unload all the blame on him. This might be a guy who after a few pints of gin or whatever vows… “The moment she leaves me you’ll find me jumping from the highest mountain!” the blame was universal.
“How could he do this to her?”
“How I hate him!”
“Take my word. He will regret it!”
But those treacherous souls whose only purpose in life is stealing every spotlight comes to the fore.
“What are you guys talking about? It is his decision, and he has every right to dump any one he wants!”
Yes sir, it’s his decision. But this isn’t about being right and wrong. It’s about humanity! This lady has done him no wrong! Why shoulder her life be spoiled just because the guy’s over-stuffed with testosterone or digging into the handbag of innocent ladies.
“What humanity! …” Look, you can’t debate such guys because theirs isn’t about substance; theirs isn’t about being armed with winning ideas based on reason and reason only. Thiers is about sheer ignorance and jumping into the arena for the sake of jumping into the arena. Even in politics there are such people who because they’ve as some ulterior motives try to justify actions that ought to be condemned.
There are wonderful things you have been hearing for quite a while. You take whatever you hear at face value and believe everything is nice and dandy; best friends; wonderful couple; great group. All of a sudden reality sets in, most of the things you thought were to remain intact forever suddenly crumble. And for many that’d be only the beginning of the story. After a couple of experiences you can’t help it but start suspecting every story, every person, every gesture etc.; This world is messier than the world messy is intended for. Unfortunately most of us are in denial. We’re living in some Wizard of Oz’ world and we have no idea when the curtains will come down. The world no more is run by rules!
But then amidst the bad, the worst, and the most stupid things happening, what gets the best of you is the number of those who try to justify such acts.
You know what it is that you couldn’t explain even to yourself? Why, why are people giving the thumbs up to acts which at best are uncomfortable at worst vile? How can any sensible person justify the hurt of the innocent and the defenseless by those who have the means to bring harm to others? You might brush aside incidents which might be personal, but when things go beyond the day-to-day life things become worrying. How can anyone justify acts which result from vile hate and hostility against individuals or groups for absolutely no conceivable reason? And you can’t help asking yourself “What’s the endgame of those who justify all the wrong things in life and by implication applaud them?
Ephrem Endale : Contributer
THE ETHIOPIAN HERALD SUNDAY EDITION 22 MAY 2022