A person’s, community or a race, mental or moral qualities that make one person, community or a race different from others is what is known as character. It is mainly concerned with principles of right and wrong. This is done in the head or mind, indicating the person’s capacity in managing oneself or anything else. A person’s mental age level is measured in terms of the average age of children having the same mental standard or power of perception.
Parents are persons, united either in holy matrimony or the otherwise, become father and mother of the child. 1. Selfishness is being indifferent about others interest and chiefly thinking of one’s own needs and welfare. Some find it very difficult to coexist with their family members and friends. Coexistence requires considering other’s interest as much as one’s own and doing everything possible to live with them peacefully. Without this, the possibility of creating good relations becomes unattainable. Therefore, rather than thinking only about yourself, it is highly recommended to give priority for other’s needs and interest.
A father, being the creator of his child next to God, instead of imposing his will and on the child, should be more concerned about the character of the child in responding to his desire. Yet, he should know better as to how to go about it. There are times when imposition is required, but too much of it spoils the whole issue. Establishing good friendship with a child is possible when the father is a giver but not always a receiver.
The parents should be responsible for whatever happens to the child. They should closely supervision of the child’s behavior lest important issues of major concerns that are related to his character development slip by unnoticed. As much the mother takes responsibility of the child’s wellbeing through love and care by attending to all his needs. Feeding him properly, yet, within their economic limit, helps the child to gain the required physical and mental growth. A responsible father should as well play a role model in well cultured a manly disposition. The father should enable his child to observe his good quality of mind and character while growing up with him.
However, both parents need to be ultra-careful in dealing with the child. Too much imposition in the name of maintaining the norm of the society in which the child grows up, will have a negative impact on the child’s behavioral development. Abreast of this, too much lenience, on the other hand, equally threatens the proper character development of the child. Keen eyes and open ears are expected of the father and the mother; yet, not police command manner.
A carpenter, his great desire to create a great and beautiful shape out of what he makes, be it a table or cupboard. His desire is to attract his customers’ attention to his product and thereby win their admiration and make them become his lasting customers. However, it is not only the beauty of his product that he should primarily be concerned about. The longevity of the mold and the durability should be his objective. This very essence firmly coincides with the interest of his customers whom he treasures most; without them all his relentless efforts become futile and of little or no use to him. Things are valued in two ways: ornamental and functional.
Most people want to own materials that have both qualities; gold, for instance has only one quality, which is ornamental; yet, diamond has both qualities, it beautifies the person who wears it and is also used for cutting glass; so is a wrist watch. If we compare gold and diamond, diamond is by far stronger than gold. In fact it is the strongest metal. The issue here is not comparing the qualities of gold and diamond, but it is about the condition of a certain material analogical analysis pertaining to the child’s character molding: a child who is well molded in character is able to endure any trying and difficult situation. Such a child cannot get bogged down by undesirable circumstances out of fear. No matter how discoursing the situation is he strives to attain decency and high stations in life.
The physical development through the provision of adequate health care, supervision, clothing, nutrition, housing alone cannot make the child fit and desirable by the parents, friends and the society at large. His emotional, social, educational and safety faculties should seriously and carefully be considered. If anything goes wrong in the process of the child’s character molding, the child turns out a rogue. Parents may tolerate however he conducts himself after he grows up or becomes adult; after all he is their blood and flesh. However, children are the property of the community in the custody of their parents who are accountable to both the community and God. The character the child depicts is the outcome of the way he is molded. The character of the child is the measure of the character of the parents whether they are capable of creating a future adult.
The country depends on them for the perpetuation of a thriving generation. The child is the reflection his parents and how carefully they have molded him in the way pleasing to all. While bringing up the child, one way of bad molding is ignoring the child’s needs. Loosely handling him to the extent of putting him in unsupervised, dangerous situations, which exposes him to sexual situations where he falls prey to abuse. Once the child passes through such bad experience in the process of character molding, he feels worthless or stupid. Regardless of the type of abuse, the result is a serious emotional harm or damage. But there is always a redeeming help available. If parents suspect a child is suffering from abuse or neglect, it’s important to speak out. It is rather dangerous to be silent. They should vociferously speak and seek assistance from child psychiatrist.
The help should not be limited to the child only, it should go beyond that. By catching the problem as early as possible, both the child and the abuser can get the help they need. The abuser himself must have gone through bad character molding experience while he was small. They might have left him to himself under the pretext child’s freedom the very scheme of the devil to create future adult atrophy. Thus, both the victimizer and the victim should be equally be treated and come back to normal life and find their rightful place in the society and win acceptance by all. The process of redemptive measures is not easy to apply.
Things that appear simple and immaterial rather matter a lot. Try to figure out why he cries; make sure you understand his feelings. Minimize paternalism, a belief that the father knows all what is good for his child. In this case the child should exercise freedom to express what he thinks is useful for him. There are times when the child knows better than the grownups about his needs. Crying is one of the ways to attract attention. Yet, it is wise to find out why he cries despite all you are trying to do to please him; parents should develop methods to orient the child to identify what and what is not is useful for him, they should not be persuaded to fulfill his unnecessary demands.
He will develop dependency character while there are ways to be independent. It is how the parents handle the situation that determines all things about the child when he grows up. Some Catholic fathers say, “Give me the child until he is seven and I will make him what you want him to be.” Early years, psychology says, are formative years. Character molding wise, everything we do after later in life to mold the character of the child cannot be basic and not lasting either. The earlier the better should be the philosophy.
The Ethiopian Herald July 17, 2020
BY JOSEPH SOBOKA
