Fanuel Wondimu was a haberdasher at the Shiromeda flea market where, in spite of its given name, brand new merchandise is also sold. Likewise, despite the trade identification name given to him by the Handicrafts and Small –Scale Enterprises Development Agency, Haberdasher Sirage dealt not only in items of men’s clothing but also in women’s apparel including ladies underwear. Fanuel had upgraded his cupboard like Arkeb Equbay’s iron –wrought kiosk to a decent and sturdy stall in which his stock in- trade was elegantly arranged on smart looking shelves.
Fanuel Wondimu was a hard- working and overambitious young man of about 25 years of age. He was of average stature and well –built with an overly manly, not to say macho, demeanor. But he often complained about his life plan having been intolerably delayed due to unforeseen hurdles along the way.
His life plan was to have saved over 5 million birr, to have owned a three bedroom villa in one of the several recently gentrified weredas (districts) of Addis Ababa, to have got married to a beautiful wife and to have had a lot of children by the age of 25. It seemed obvious now that was never going to materialize. He thought that all his effort to suppress and stifle his propulsive testosterone was to no avail. It seemed to him that he was now like a doordie desperado propelled by high levels of testosterone ready to self-launch and self –destruct upon ignition! That in deed was a menacing and terrible self –image of a lunatic!
As Fanuel Wondimu was apparently trying to pacify his intractable demons, his long –time customer Solomon, a tourist guide, came to his stall with an Italian tourist name Angelina. Angelina, of angelic looks true to her mellifluous name, was a backpacking tourist who came to Ethiopia fascinated by incredible tales of the Land of Prester John, home to the 8th wonder of the world, the Rock-Hewn Churches of Lalibela and the breath –taking ancient monasteries on Lake Tana.
“Hi, Fanuel! This is Angelina from Italy. She came to visit the sites along the Historic Route. She wants a few changes of underwear,” said Solomon the Tourist Guide. But Fanuel had turned into a virtual zombie by two internal contending forces: the urge to rape Angelina powered by a sex drive propelled by a surge in testosterone and a dictatorial conscience portending the destructive consequence of shame and guilt!
Then suddenly, Fanuel appeared to have bounced back from a sort of zombie trance, heaving a huge sigh of relief, and said: “Sorry, Sele, I am not feeling too well today,” and he dumped two separate batches of panties and T-shirts on the counter across his stall, saying “Madame, you may pick your choice and size from these.”
As the lady was caressing with her hands the underpants and T-shirts to gauge the finess of the material of which they were made and as Solomon, the Tourist Guide, was looking on, Fanuel was momentarily trying to process the emotional paroxysm he just underwent. He concluded he was thankfully prevented from committing a hideousn crime by the emotional paralysis caused by the clash of the two contending internal forces of the libido and the superego.
His silent analysis at supercomputer speed of his cataclysmic emotional turmoil was worthy of publication in any of the world-famous journals of psychology. He realized that the underlying cause was the accumulated personal frustration; the immediate pretext was the month of the year and the date of the month, namely Yekatit 12 (Feb. 19,1937); the assault weapon was a wild and blind sex drive propelled by high levels of testosterone; the counterforce was a dictatorial conscience cultivated through years of Orthodox religious indoctrination.
Anybody with a nodding acquaintance with Ethiopian history knows that Yekatit 12,1929 (E.C) was St. Michael’s Day when Fascist Italy’s Grazian launched a massive and indiscriminate massacre against the residents of Addis Ababa, apparently in retaliation for grenade attacks by Abrham Deboch and Moges Assgdom on a public gathering convened by Graziani himself in the present Addis Ababa University compound (Sidist Kilo) in 1937 (G.C) while Ethiopia was partially under Fascist Italy’s colonial rule.
Well, it was very simple to connect the dots. The cauldron of personal frustration pounced on beautiful Italian Angelina as the enemy, used the testosterone powered sex drive as the attack weapon and the hideous crime would have been committed had the cross of the Holy Trinity not been flourished in due time from high above! Fanuel shuddered at the potential consequences of the crime had it been committed. It would have exploded as Breaking News on CNN and BBC! Ethiopia’s image abroad would have suffered immensely and its tourism industry might have collapsed! Fanuel bounced back again from what appeared to be a reverie and said:
“Madame, have you found anything you like?” “Oh! Yeah, I’ll take these two pairs of underpants and T-shirts. How much will that be?, said Angelina with a heavenly smile. “O.K., Madame that will be on the house, free! Thank you for wanting to visit Ethiopia. Welcome to the Land of Origins and Thirteen Months of Sunshine!” Said Fanuel.
Oh! Solomon, isn’t that nice of your friend! That’s what I love about Ethiopians. You don’t seem to have all that much by way of material things, but you are so generous and friendly at heart that everything appears to be available in abundance!”
Angelina and Solomon, the Tourist Guide, bid Faunel good –bye and left Shiromeda. Angelina was confused by the depth of emotion aroused by the extraordinary and unexpected kindness shown to her by the Habredasher of Shiromeda. She thought that it was not a gift to please her but rather a gift to redeem the giver. It was a gift of self- redemption. She decided and she thought this was the best kind of gift anybody could ever offer.
A few days later, Angelina and her Tourist Guide, Solomon, embarked on their journey along the historic route. Solomon was a trustworthy young man who knew the history of the historic route like the back of his hand. His running commentary on the numerous tourist attractions on the historic route was truly remarkable. His English, even if sometimes broken, was amazingly fluent and to the point. Angelina was completely fascinated by all that she saw and heard.
At one point, while mass was being celebrated at one of the breath –taking rock- hewn churches of Lalibela, she was so spellbound by the church music of St. Yared and the scent of incense that she fell into a trance as she was still standing in complete awe of what seemed to be paradise on earth! When she came to, there he was, Solomon the Tourist Guide, standing beside her and in deep prayer.
Outside the Lallibela Church, Angelina’s heart was filled with exotic fascination and joy. She turned once again to Solomon, the Tourist Guide, and said “Solomon, you are a pretty handsome young man. I was wondering why you never once looked like you were making advances to me in any shape or form.”
“Oh! Angelina, you are angelic like your name, as beautiful as Mona Lisa. It is just that Ethiopian tradition mandates that a guest should be treated with the greatest respect like a Tabot (tabernacle) and should be given unconditional love and affection. If, for example, you came to my house to visit me, and I was married, my wife and I would vacate our conjugal bed for you and wash your feet out of traditional unconditional love and affection. Not that I am married, but that is our long- standing tradition particularly in rural Ethiopia.”
Angelina went years back down memory lane when her mother lavished love on her for no other reason than being what she was, her daughter. She almost broke into tears as she gained more insight into the selfredemptive power of love she saw in the Haberdasher of Shiromeda a few days ago. “Besides, Solomon continued,
“besides, we Ethiopians love the Italians more than any other Europeans. Some say it is in fact a love- hate relationship. We defeated you at the Great Battle of Adwa and you avenged that defeat at Mychew. We have called it quits since, and the Italian language has formed a part of the vernacular Amharic: Trenta quatro, cencinto,, mechina, lazngna, pastal farno, telateli, casa populare, casanchez, merkato, moda nova, novis, castelli, lombardia, vela verde, piazza, iveco, varnero, livello, puntina, etc. Italians who chose to stay behind in Ethiopia after the Second World War married Ethiopians and set up successful business enterprises.
The Derg government disrupted it all, but Castelli Restaurant is still arguably the best restaurant in Addis Ababa and Luigi Varnero still the most respected civil engineering enterprise in the country. By the way, the Great Renaissance Dam is being constructed by the famous Italian company, Salini.”
Angelina listened to Solomon with great interest and she remarked: “I understand Asmara was called Little Rome while Eritrea was under Italian colonial rule.” “Oh, Yes! Absolutely true,” responded Solomon. The return trip back to Addis was equally exciting.
In general, the upshot of Angelina’s visit to Ethiopia was extraordinarily fabulous. She fell in love with Ethiopia, with its natural beauty, with its exotic ancient history and cultured heritage and, above all with the seemingly unconditional love shown to her by the Haberdasher of Shiromeda. She parted with Solomon for the day. She took a taxi to Shiromeda alone and went straight to Fanuel’s stall. He was standing behind the counter waiting for customers. He almost fainted when he saw her. She approached the counter slowly, hesitated for a moment and launched out of her lovely mouth and lips the most momentous statement of her life: “I love you, Fanuel!,” It was more than Fanuel Wondimu could possibly bear. The Haberdasher of Shiromeda fainted and fell to the ground!
The Ethiopian herald June 14,2020
BY TEKLEBIRHAN GEBREMICHAEL
