Short story
Professor Zekarias is the Zerayacob of contemporary Ethiopia. His knowledge of philosophy has coalesced into incredible wisdom and insight. He believes conscious existence is its own end, but he is of the opinion that conscious existence should be neutral, exhibiting neither pleasure nor pain. Above all, conscious existence must of necessity be smart and intelligent at all times, incrementally taking on, with the aid of technological progress, the attributes of its creator.
One day when he was giving a lecture on modern philosophy to his class at the former Haileselassie University (now Addis Ababa University) where he is the head of the Department of philosophy, one of his students raised his hand and asked him point blank: “Professor, do you believe in God?”
“What makes you think I may not believe in God? Of course, I do! You and I are confined to the past and the present of the space- time continuum. God has lived a billion years into your and my future! That’s why He has the attribute of ubiquity and that makes all the difference between man and God,” Prof. Zekarias tried to explain the godly attribute of ubiquity.
The student was not fully satisfied with the Professor’s answer and so he followed up his query with: “Ok, He may have lived a billion years into your and my future and that would be God’s past, so that He may have a billion years ahead of him in His future.”
“Excellent interpretation, but God is one and the same as the space time-continuum. He is in the past, in the present and in the future all at the same time. It is pretty difficult for humans, who are time- bound, to understand, but that is what ubiquity means,” said Prof. Zekarias as he collected his lecture notes from his table and shoved them into is briefcase, getting ready to end the lecture for the day.
On his way home, Prof. Zekarias was suddenly engulfed by a feeling of general malaise. Soon he started feeling faint and weak. He managed to reach home walking but he only had energy enough to dump his briefcase on the sofa in his living room before he collapsed on his bed without so much as taking off his shoes. Shortly afterwards, he let out a mighty sneeze and then he started coughing. He thought to himself: “Might this be what President Trump called the invisible monster”, by which he meant Sars Cov.2 caused by Covid -19 which was detected in Dec.2019 (and hence the number-19 after Covid).
Prof Zekarias called the Covid -19 hotline 8335 several times but it sounded
the busy- busy tone repeatedly. Out of frustration, he tossed his expensive touch –screen smart phone to the floor and let it stay there for a while. As his symptoms progressed from mild to moderate, he feared they may worsen into critical and severe as he had come to know from CNN’S Dr. Sanjay Gupta. So, he struggled to pick up his smart phone and called the Covid -19 hotline one last time. Fortunately, the line was open and quickly came on the soothing voice of a female host: “Covid-19 Hothine, what can I do to help you?”
“This is Zekarias, Professor, calling from my home in front of the British Embassy,” Prof. Zekarias answered.
“We will do all we can to help you, but I must tell you we have a serious shortage of ambulances”, said the lady.
Through his coughs and sneezes, Prof. Zekarias replied: “ I know ours is a shortage society and a shortage economy. The question is, what do you do in a real emergency?”
“I can’t promise anything specific other than to say that we will do all we can to send you an ambulance as soon as possible,” said the soft- spoken lady at the other end of the line.
“That’s all I can ask for,” the Professor replied and tried to wait patiently. Meanwhile, his maid slowly entered his bedroom carrying dinner on a tray.
“Professor, you should at least have a bite. You can’t fight an illness on an empty stomach,” the maid said.
“You are right, but what if the illness is one that kills your appetite. At any rate, don’t come near. Put the tray on the chair by the door. By the way, what do we have for dinner?, the Professor asked.
“Vegetable soup and fish cutlets,” the maid answered and left,
Prof. Zekarias managed to stagger to his feet and approached the chair on which his favourite dish was placed. By the looks of it, the dinner was, as usual, well prepared. It smelt gorgeous, but his taste-buds were not as avidly excited as usual, perhaps because of his rising fever, another symptom of the “invisible monster”. Defiantly, he picked one of the fish cutlets and chomped on it, wolfing it down without regard for one of his cherished table manners of proper mastication. He added another one and did the same to it. Then, he scooped a spoonful of the vegetable soup and swished it down. Encore! Then he limped back to his bed.
He called 8335 again, but there was no response. As the evening wore on, he became increasingly desperate. Suddenly, he thought of his old- time friend Dr. Thomas who happens to be the Prime Minister’s personal physician. He gave him a phone call and told him about his illness. Dr. Thomas
phoned the resident doctor at Menelik Hospital where Dr.Thomas is the chief neurosurgeon. But the resident doctor told Dr. Thomas that the shortage of ambulances and other medical equipment and supplies at Menelik Hospital is even worse than in most other hospitals and so there was nothing he could do to help. Upon hearing what the resident doctor had to say, Dr Thomas had no choice but to inform the Prime Minister about the possible infection of Ethiopia’s most renowned philosopher, Prof. Zekarias, with Covid -19. The Prime Minister’s response was swift. He telephoned his health minister and instructed him to send an ambulance to Prof. Zekaria’s home near the British Embassy.
The Prime Minister’s instructions were executed promptly and Prof. Zekarias was admitted to one of the state hospitals designated for Covid-19 patients. As feared, Prof. Zekarias tested positive for Covid -19, but since he was still in the mild/moderate condition of the disease, he did not require any intensive care immediately. However, things took a turn for the worse after seven days. Prof. Zekarias was clearly descending into the critical/ severe phase of Covid -19, requiring an artificial breathing device. He was thus put on a ventilator, which usually portends a grim prognosis. Upon hearing the sad news, Dr. Thomas rushed to the Covid -19 hospital where Prof. Zekarias was receiving medical care, wearing full medical gear including goggles and all. Dr. Thomas grimly assessed his friend’s medical situation and roughly figured out that his chance of survival was quite slim. He decided then and there to report the matter to the Prime Minister and he did. The Prime Minister felt his personal physician’s palpable vicarious pain and agony for his long- time friend Prof. Zekarias and decided he had to do whatever he could to save Pro. Zekarias life. But hard though he thought, the Prime Minister could not possibly think of anything specific he could do to save Prof. Zekaria’s life when all of a sudden some very strange idea occurred to him. The UK’s Prime Minister Boris Johnson recovered after being admitted to the intensive care unit of the hospital where he was receiving medical care for Covid -19. Of course, PM Boris Johnson was not put on a ventilator although it was feared that he might have to be put on one eventually. Of course, the world was shocked at the unexpected turn of events with regard to the UK’s Prime Minister’s health status, because apart firm being the UK’s Prime Minister, he is a very likable human being despite advocating Brexit.
The Ethiopian Prime Minister telephoned his foreign minister and said, “Put me through to the British Prime Minister Immediately”.
“I can’t, Mr. Prime Minister. He has been advised to take a rest by his doctor and
nobody is allowed to speak to him while he is convalescing from Covid -19”, the Ethiopian foreign minister replied.
“Never mind just tell them it is the Ethiopian PM”, said the PM with considerable urgency in his voice.
The Ethiopian foreign minister did as he was instructed and to his surprise the response from Downing Street No.10 was amazingly expeditious.
“Hello, Mr. Prime Minister. Anything I can do to help?” It was definitely Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s voice.
“Thank you, Mr. Prime Minister. Sorry to disturb you while you are under strict medical advice to rest”, the Ethiopian Prime Minister apologized.
“It is ok. It must be very urgent.”
“Very much so, Mr. Prime Minister. Our renowned philosopher, Prof. Zekarias is on a ventilator fighting for his life from Covid -19. Is there anything you can do to help us?” asked the Ethiopian Prime Minister.
“Of course, there is, Mr. Prime Minister. How come even you don’t know. I will send our foreign minister to Ethiopia on a special British Airways flight at once with a coded message, which cannot be uttered on the phone”, Boris Johnson’s typically reassuring bravura in his voice was proof that he had recovered from the “invisible monster”.
The British foreign secretary was welcomed at Bole International Airport by Ethiopia’s Deputy Prime Minister and was immediately spirited away in a special limousine to the Ethiopian Prime Minister’s office. At a distance of about six feet from the Prime Minister’s oblong desk, the British foreign Minister greeted the Ethiopian Prime Minister by nodding and placing his left hand on his heart. The Ethiopian PM reciprocated likewise.
Without much further ado, the British foreign secretary handed over the enveloped message to the Ethiopian Prime Minister saying,”I must fly back to London immediately. Good-bye, Mr Prime Minister!”, and hurried back out.
The Ethiopian Prime Minister opened the envelope and quietly read the single –word coded message which was written in block capital letters: SHEFABEANKELICHI. The Prime Minister could not possibly make head or tail of the message. He was relieved when he read the rest of the message which gave instructions to consult the Chinese ambassador to Ethiopia without delay.
The Chinese ambassador to Ethiopia was summoned to the Prime Minister’s Office. The Prime Minister showed him the coded massage which be recognized at once.
“Excuse me, Mr. Prime Minister but I
must first consult the Chinese President to say anything at all about it,” said the Chinese ambassador.
“Yes, of course! Can you make the contact from my office?” asked the Prime Minister.
“Sorry, but I can’t. It is official protocol that I must communicate with Beijing only from my embassy,” the ambassador said and left immediately. Back at the Chinese embassy, the Ambassador frantically struggled to reach President XI Jinping. After several frustrating phone –call attempts, the ambassador finally succeeded in speaking to the President: “What is so urgent, ambassador?” , the Chinese President asked.
“It is about the coded message you sent to
PM Boris Johnson a few weeks ago”, said the ambassador.
“Oh, Boris had told me. I forgot. Ok, decipher it for the Ethiopian Prime Minister”.
Quickly, the Chinese ambassador ordered his chauffer to drive him back to the Ethiopian PM’s office pronto and got into the back of the car. Secure in the knowledge that the wind was flapping the Chinese flag on the bonnet of the car, the chauffer dodged traffic and broke red lights to carry out his master’s instructions. Once again at the PM’s office, the Chinese ambassador decoded the secret message as follows: SHEFERAW ABEBECH ANKLES CHINA.
“Mr. Prime Minister, it is a secret Ethio –
Chinese Alternative Medicine Collaborative Initiative being conducted with Ethiopia’s most renowned traditional medical doctor ABEBECH SHEFERAW!”
“At least I should have been informed, but we have no time now,” said the Prime Minister and turned to his secretary and ordered: Invite ABEBECH SHEFERAW to my office and we will go see professor Zekarias immediately”.
Abebech Sheferaw appeared before the Prime Minister in full protective gear carrying a medical kit. Without delay, they sped to the hospital where Prof. Zekarias was receiving medical care. Prof. Zekarias, being under sedation, was only barely conscious. Upon the Prime Minister’s nod of approval, Abebech proceeded to administer her wonder traditional medicine by IV injection.
Three days later Prof. Zekarias’ condition was described as “improving and stable.” Seven days later Prof. Zekarias was able to sit up and chat. The following day the story was broadcast on CNN Breaking News! That same day President Trump was holding a press conference to update the public on the corona- virus pandemic. CNN’s Chris Cuomo, who had himself only recently recovered from Covid -19, asked the President, “Mr. President, have you consulted the Ethiopian Prime Minister about Abebech Sheferaw’s traditional wonder medicine?” to which the President replied: “You must be kidding, Chris! It is either HQ or convalescent plasma! (HQ is hydroxy-chloroquine). Other than an effective vaccine, these are the two treatments that will defeat this invisible monster!”
The Ethiopian Herald May 3/2020
BY EKLEBIRHAN GEBREMICHAEL
