Recently a relative in her mid-twenties was ranting over something accusing a certain group which she referred only as “They…” for cheating her into something. I mean the young lady was so angry that she was, as they say, all claws and fangs. If any member of the “they’ had been around you wouldn’t imagine what would have happened to her failing to tame her anger. When she told her only bits and pieces of her story I tell you it was hard to stay calm. It so happened that she had a few friends with whom she goes places. There were three of them. Their group was supposed to be a collection of serious meaning young girls not given too much of present day life detours which is taking many onto the wrong tracks. Of course if you think this reputation won them the standing ovation I’ve to tell you you’re missing on how the minds of people seem to work these days. For many the four in some ways were outcasts of sorts since they’re not seen in many places the ‘young crowd’ converges.
Over time two of the three begin displaying behaviors which in no way was theirs and the other one which was this relative I’m telling you about, was worried. Then they started asking her to a certain place she would enjoy and that they discovered lately. Well, after all they were friends and she had no reason to be suspicious of anything out of the normal. One weekend they go to this ‘new’ place and to her surprise it was a residential house. Of course, the living room and subsequent rooms had nothing residential about them. Anyway after that she didn’t want to go into any details.
However, from the little she told us there were other young girls and also young men, everyone was tipsy or dead drunk except this relative and a couple of other girls she said were new to the place. At a certain time the lights went dim and what she said started happening sounded some scene out of some story hastily crafted story. The men started catching the hands of the young girls randomly and dragging them into inner rooms. And, here comes the juice of the story, the young women were more than willing to be dragged! None of us had the courage to ask what was happening in the inner rooms! She says she practically jumps out of the door, out of the compound and before she knows it she was in a minibus taxi to her home.
Late that night one of her friends calls and when she answers the friend was angry that she left so suddenly. This relative warned her to never, ever do such a thing like taking her to such a place. And what the friend says wrapped it all up;
“Why are you so angry? Everybody does it!” believe me for the meek and the “Everybody does it!” play could turn out to be a trap, a nasty one too!
I never went anywhere else close to chewing khat even though some of my friends were regulars. Also never smoked. Look, having lived in the area I used to live for practically all my life (until recent months!) I tell you that is not as easy as it sounds. The temptations, the pushes, the peer pressures and the like corner you from every side and the frequency of your “No thank you;” could keep and does keep, many significant distances from you. In fact, in the worst of cases say by not falling for the “Everybody does it!” trap you could be taken for an arrogant, self-patting creep! “Who does he think he is anyway?”
I don’t know the details but one thing about being in writing business around here is that you’re expected to chew khat. You are told everybody does it and you’ve no reason for you to stay on the sidelines. You’re told it boosts your creativity genes so thoroughly that every word you put on paper would be worthy of some ‘best quotes of the century’ list. There was this friend I respected very much who’s now departed and probably in a much better world than ours. I remember him falling for the “Everybody does it!” and ending up as the worst drunkard you could imagine to the extent that it cost him even his marriage. And him being a sports crazy guy you wouldn’t have ever suspected he’d veer so far away from the more or less life he was leading. But he did and it was a very sad ending for his family. And behind it all there was this supposedly best friend who day by day filled him with all kind of stories urging him to go out into the world and finally managed to succeed.
“How about going to a real trendy and hot place tonight? You know, like that place they call Chechnya. They say once you’ve gone there you’ve gone to the real Las Vegas!”
“No way! I’d be willing to go anywhere but there.
“What’s wrong with it?”
“But everybody does it!” So! So what everybody does it! I mean there is a clear and heavy red line
These days some people trying to convince you about something miss the lines so bad they indulge in tirades you wouldn’t expect from someone trying to win you over about something. They don’t acknowledge your position and admit, “Well the guy has his position on the matter and it doesn’t mean he is in the wrong for not towing the line what everyone is supposedly towing!” had we had such people even as little as in the hundreds I tell you this world would have been a far better place.
Not that the temptation to do what ‘everybody does it’ never nudges your weaker genes. There are instances where seeing things from the outside nudges your weaker genes and maybe drive you to philosophize. “Maybe I’m overdoing things. Maybe by staying back and locking myself in house every night I’m distancing myself from those moments where life is all laughter and glee. There can be nothing wrong with having a couple of beers with friends once in a while. Well, it’s your life, it’s your choice. But when you are supposed to be very close to being a teetotaler with maybe a couple of bottles a year at the most having a couple “once in a while” would be a big leap; and there is no guarantee the leap would take you the other side safely.
Before jumping into what “Everybody is doing;” maybe it’s better to give things a second serious thought.
– How Did They Come to This
I’m country western music fan; and while I enjoy many of the tunes, especially the older ones, one stands out; “West Virginia.” It is as if I was originally from that place and I was the nostalgic guy who isn’t giving up that easily. Ages back I was part of an African media team on a six week workshop. This friend of mine already there was driving me around and I fumbled with his radio looking for some country music channel. It didn’t take me long before I found one. Believe me I didn’t listen for fifteen or twenty seconds when my friend reached over and turned it off. What! And he knows my very soft genes for country music. I asked him (probably shouted at him! a couple of decades have passed and don’t blame me if I forget the details in times when it seems we’re moving ever closer to forgetting ourselves!) what the hell he was doing. He said it would make the African Americans driving by angry. I protested and finally we decided to close the widows and keep the volume down. It was a sort of revelation for me that even music could be polarizing.
Watching what has been happening these past few days I couldn’t help wondering what the hell was happening with the country though my reaction has nothing to do with my West Virginia fan story. This time it seems to be about politics; it seems to be about the lefties and the righties. Or is it? Isn’t this the billion dollar question? Is what has been happening the past few years and what seems to be happening now about differing political lines and political lines only? I mean weren’t such things supposed to be Third World stuff? Americans going for each other’s throats over differing political beliefs!
One thing is sure; though no one can claim to know about that vast country everything there is to know (Even the politicians and the media crowd don’t seem to be that smart!) from what we can see it’s only fair to say America is changing in ways we never expected. Many of those things we took for granted when it comes to the US seem to be being blown away down like a pack of cards disturbed by strong winds. It’s sad when the very nice things you took for granted and even dreamt asking ourselves “When, oh when will my own country be so lucky?” Going to America by itself was supposed to be the last leg of the journey going to heaven.
Yes, why not! America and Heaven were supposed to be next door neighbors! Hmmm… I mean what more could there be than finding oneself in the most democratic of all countries? Experiencing what a free society actually means and feels? What a couple of big bites of McDonald’s sandwiches would have tested? What it means for all your rights being respected and you being shielded from any outside abuse and harassment by the law and order system in place? Look I’m not saying all these things are as we expect them to be because may times than not what you see isn’t always what you get! But then that wouldn’t hurt the picture of the America we’ve built in our psyches over decades. Some pictures aren’t that easily altered or erased. But believe me after last Saturdays outrage of the assassination attempt on the former president Donald Trump it is impossible to keep those glittering pictures and dreams intact.
There were times when we thought truth means what you heard, watched and read in the Western especially American mainstream media. There were times when none of us disputed some news item which appears in the mainstream media however bizarre it might sound. There were times when next to the Almighty our destiny lay in the hands of the Westerners who wished and worked for the best interests of we poor and powerless folks. There were times when we thought that some vocabulary even though present in the dictionaries didn’t work for America. Even if the American media used those words and terms it would be in connection with things foreign and not local. But that seems to be going into the history books. As the attempt on Mr. Trump were shocking so were some comments we read and saw! How come people are spa cold-hearted! Against their own country man by little things are changing and so are presentations. Some reactions leave you quizzing yourself what the hell really is happening in that country.
We’re reading so-called opinions that whatever the result come November there would be trouble on the streets of the country.
Jack Black has said he’s cancelled the rest of the Tenacious D world tour after his band mate Kyle Gass sparked an outcry with a comment about the assassination attempt on Donald Trump.
The comedy rock group was on stage in Sydney, Australia, on Sunday when Gass was asked to make a wish after being presented with a cake for his 64th birthday.
He appeared to reply: “Don’t miss Trump next time.”
And this one comes from a teacher responsible for working on the minds of the young to make them better and prepare them for the world that awaits them. She writes; “Wish they had a better scope”. What! Are we really talking about a country which for decades has been seen as an icon of freedom and prosperity? Mind you this one is a teacher. We are not talking about behind-the-curtain chit chats. We are not talking about unverified third party information. This lady just said it herself. Sad; it’s really sad what we humans are coming to. And such kinds of behaviors were supposed to be Third World material, weren’t they? Not that there is any serious research or whatever concerning this conclusion; but the outstanding notion in the West is that all the leftovers of life, all the despicable behaviors, and all the bad things are Third World countries. No1 No! No!
Here is one comment concerning the attempt which would knock you off whatever it’s you’re sitting or lying on. “The last thing America needed was sympathy for the devil but here we are.” If this had been written by some ill-intentioned person, many of which that country seems to have, you’d have just ignored it. But no, it wasn’t any such person. It was posted by a certain elected democratic representative. Now you’d be pardoned a thousand times if you think maybe, just maybe America has the wrong people in the wrong offices and that’s reason for things turning into what it never was supposed to be; a country where elections don’t bring calm but chaos! Isn’t that, again, Third World stuff! It isn’t about dogging for any implied meaning. It is all there when he says it in the open. Come on, does it really startle anyone if the political machine fails to work with such guys holding the steering wheel? I say it doesn’t.
We hope the coming months leading to November would about calm not only for America, but for the whole world! And anther million dollar question is, “How the hell did America come to this?”
THE ETHIOPIAN HERALD SUNDAY EDITION 21 JULY 2024