“Whenever A and B are in opposition to each other anyone who attacks and criticizes A is accused of aiding and abetting B.” Those were the words of George Orwell. He’s quit in the news these days, isn’t he? All of a sudden the world is saying “He has said it all and we didn’t listen to him.”
But looking deeper in the above mentioned quote it seems to hold a lot of truth. We don’t have to personally experience such things to know the impact they would have on individuals and even within the society they live in. So people even though not directly affected would most likely be affected in other ways. Someway down the line this notion of placing everyone in one or other group seem to have taken hold and refuses to let us go. One reason that we seem so backward in discussing issues without any string attached, or without being accused of things we never imagined. It is not only about only politics or about issues not far from that world this trend persists. You witness a lot of it within the day today lives of the society we live in.
Take every common example of marriage disputes between couples. I remember touching on this issue a couple of times. I have a couple of friends who have been involved in resolving such issues. There is this trend where if you are seen being part of the peace seeking team the calls come repeatedly even from people you barely know; the underlying understanding seems to be you’ve the experience.
However, many times than not it is difficult to escape being accused of being biased against one side. By the away one of my friends I mentioned has totally given up involving in marriage disputes because he had enough of being accused of rooting for one side. In fact, in one instance he lost a very strong friendship which persisted for a couple of decades because the family of his own friend accused him siding with the bride. All he tried to do was try to be logical by trying to raise the positive and negative sides of both. But the family his friend having concluded that their son was the perfect husband have already put the blame on his wife. Well, here is one storyline you can’t lay down on the table. He knows a few secrets about the husband, and all this weighed down on him. The only thing he could do was give the wife the credit he believed she deserved. Unfortunately, it backfired and cost him a friendship. YO don’t such issue aren’t places where you just off your chest and go away smiling with rounds of applauses seeing off. You have to tell it to someone.
So just to prevent your boat from being rocked you’re forced to choose your words. Now here is where you really find yourself in real dilemma. The so-called ‘chosen words,’ because they don’t express your real thoughts weigh down your tongue and probably your heart. I talk like I’ve been through it all, don’t I? I mean there is nothing as nasty as being accused of aiding someone when you’re nowhere near any of it. In fact to be frank you might despise B more than you despise A. But then A doesn’t know it. Even if he knows it most of the time he’d not be taking that neutral logical stand; “Well the guy sticks to his own principles and I don’t see anything wrong with that.” If he says these words he probably must be an angel in disguise.
Your very innocent and unbiased intentions are rewritten multiple times and turned against you. And you know what? A new you would be fashioned and refashioned among the ranks of the society; a new you which doesn’t come anywhere close to sharing the strong groundwork of behaviors and principles that made you the person you are. All this just because you’ve spoken your mind about some person called A.
“I wanted to ask you something but I don’t know why I feel I might offend you?”
“What made you think as such?”
“Well you know the days have changed and so do have people.”
“You’re saying I might have changed too.”
“Maybe…maybe…Any way I heard that you’ve some very heavy words for A.”
“What does that exactly mean?”
“Well the talk of the town is that you’re making a real monster out of the fellow everywhere you go. People talk, you know!”
“Look, I know where this is leading to. If you want to say just because I don’t like the guy or many of the things about him it doesn’t mean I’m a foot soldier for those who don’t like him. Am I getting through to you?”
“You’re trying; but it doesn’t mean you’re making any impact on me.”
“Bravo! That is a very candid answer. You saved me a lot of breath and red blood cells. Anyway, let’s change the subject shall we? What are you been doing with your life these days.”
Here is an interesting story. There was this guy I know who had the habit of throwing in English words when he actually speaks in Amharic. I don’t know how and when he started this habit. But presently he wasn’t doing it to impress anyone or to show off his English language prowess. It was just another habit he’s finding hard to throw off. One day he was having a nice time with friends when this gentleman who knew a couple of them joined them. Now our guy just kept to his habit of throwing in English terms. The gentleman left after a few minutes frowning and without any sign of having had a good time. He later told one of them that our guy inserted all those English words to offend him. What? Yes, that was what he said. So just take it easy inserting those English words especially among people who don’t know you well!
Anyway returning to our main point criticizing A doesn’t always mean aiding B!
THE ETHIOPIAN HERALD SUNDAY EDITION 24 MARCH 2024