The other weekend a few of us were discussing an issue which we don’t seem to talk about much these days. The issue was about our childhood, dreams aspirations and how many of us have actually realized those dreams, aspirations. Isn’t that one hell of an issue in a world which seem to be cracking at the seams all over the place!
Look, I can tell you it is hard to imagine times when this world was worse than it is now in recent times. At times we’re so confused that some of us think that there must be something very wrong with the way or brains work and in the way we think about things because the level of utter ignorance, arrogance and rolling it into one, stupidity out there is astounding. Is it that only the pole in the streets or, to borrow some term which makes sense despite the ‘commie’ connotation ascribed to it, the masses that are seeing the World War III is rushing towards us at breakneck speed because of decisions or indecisions by people in the wrong places? The level of hatred towards other people open or camouflaged in ‘sweet talk’ is scary to say the least. In live and recorded TV interviews we hear calls for the destruction of entire people and the so-called show hosts and interviewers, so unethically, don’t try to play down the venomous narratives. Being angry, frustrated and highly motivated is one thing. But talk of the annihilation of an entire people, whoever they are, I whichever part of the world they might be, is a completely different story.
So back to childhood dreams and the group of us had quite a time and realized that the issue we raised to while away the time was indeed an important issue. “Young people no more dream
about the future and they are focused only on the present,” one amongst us said. In the absence of data or any credible argument our friend’s comment might somewhat overboard. But the feeling that these days we don’t hear that much about the dreams and aspirations of young people. What happened? Search me; but I have this feeling the accusing finger isn’t only on the youngsters but the society as a whole, too.
We talked if any of us achieved our childhood dreams, and aspirations. Well, the result while not surprising creates questions. None of us seems to have come anywhere close to what we aspired as children. Why? That is the million-dollar question with potentially hundreds of answers. How many of us have really made it all the way to the kind of career we dreamt about? How many of us have reached the finish line of that childhood race and bragged; “The champ is home! Hail the champ!” We’re still waiting for answers.
Even though we don’t have the numbers to quote the fair guess would be that not many of us, if any, have gone the whole way. The girl who always thought she would be a fashion designer ending up as a simple clerk at some low level office wouldn’t see her smiling much. Now why did she fail to realize her dreams? Did society maybe in its highly conservative ways most of which still seem to be in play, prevent her from going the distance? Or, and this is important, was some bad spell cast upon her so that she would never achieve her dreams? I said “this is important” because these days, for some reason, there is a lot of talk about such things. Of course such stories are most of the time difficult even impossible to investigate. In fact, the very thought of investigating them is scary because there is the fear that the spell would be thrown our way too.
It doesn’t mean that you throw in the towel at the starting line. Well, at least most of the times that isn’t the case, though there are some. In fact there could even be those who, except for the verbal narratives, never even came anywhere close to the starting line. But for those who have traveled a long way towards their dreams the stumbling blocks appear in various forms and intensity. And when they are close to their dream line life frowns at them. It always does that to us, doesn’t it? I mean when we thought the sun would be even brighter and we don’t even notice the gathering clouds life bumps us head-on in one or several of its nasty ways. You want to be in the place and position you aspired?
“Ok welcome; but sorry, the bars have been raised!” Hmmm.
In the old days even relatives, friends and neighbors take could be part of the ‘advisory’ committee which you never knew existed. Their role deciding what you should be when you grow up.
“She should be a doctor.”
“I think she should be engineer.”
And then for the elderly grandparents all these just doesn’t make sense.
“What are you people trying to do with her? Why are you putting the wrong thoughts into her mind?”
“What do you mean?”
“She should be a house wife! Who do you think should raise the children!”
The very question of her having children isn’t an “if” question; it is a “when” issue. So if you have the audacity (which actually is stupidity) to raise something like “Well she might not have any children to raise!” that would be an unpardonable blasphemy and the disapproving stares and glares would melt you. I mean it would practically melt you giving you the feeling that you’ve began shedding off pounds from your not very imposing physique!
I remember before I even edged closer to the early teens they were one-day discussing what I should be when I grew up. I would be misleading you if I try to bring up the suggestions that were being hurled all over the room. You know why; I barely remember them! But one comment from one close relative stuck in my brain as if it became part of the anatomy of that body part. He says, “He should be a policeman.” A what! I can tell even the tiny creature I was how I hated him for bringing up such a thing. Me a policeman! Not that I knew anything about being a policeman. But in those days talking about people in uniform even the kid who barely could walk upright dreamt of being in the navy. Yes, I mean it. The way the navy personnel dressed up was so out of this world and imposing what almost every one of us just craved for it. And this relative wants to make a policeman out of me! Maybe I should one day sit down and quiz myself if I ever forgave him.
How many of us reached the finish line only to be unceremoniously told “The bars have been raised?”
Ephrem Endale
Contributer
The Ethiopian Herald November 5/2023