“Of all the things you experienced at home, which memory makes you homesick the most?” I asked one of my friends who recently came from Rome, Italy to Addis Ababa to spend the New Year with her family.
“Each and everything,” she replied simply, stressing on her words and fixing her eyes on me.
“When you are living in a foreign country, no matter whether you are leading a comfortable life or not, every single thing brings back a lot of memories and takes you back to your homeland. Especially, during the arrival of holidays, your mind starts to be stuffed with a pile of memories which make you feel a kind of nostalgia. The time you used to spend with your family, friends, relatives, colleagues, the tantalizing aroma of the food, the drink, roasted coffee, church rituals that are carried out on the eve and the actual day, the preparations and the gatherings, the best wishes; each and everything come flooding back to your mind one after the other,” she said in a manner trying to see the scenes with her mind’s eye.
A decade and plus years have already elapsed since Bizuayehu Tilahun has left her birthplace and settled in a foreign land Rome, Italy. And as she always utters, though she settled in another country and started leading a good life, her heart and mind is always at her home country, Ethiopia.
“Do you believe, even the crowded roads and busy marketplaces I was familiar with, the long lines I waited for taxis, and all the holiday preparations I used to perform during the arrival of holidays and on the actual day at home, and the like, disturb me a lot whenever holidays come, ” she said with mixed feelings.
In fact, though the level of distress is different from person to person, it is common for most people to feel homesickness during holidays as we apart from the people who are nearest and dearest to us and the settings where we developed a sense of belongingness.
Artist Martha Mengistu, residing in Sydney, Australia, is the other one who shared her feelings in this regard. As to her, when holidays are approaching, all minor things that she did not give them due attention while she was at home started to magnify themselves and let her desire to get back hometown straightaway. Even things that were pleasing in normal days turned out to be her source of discontent.
“When holiday arrives, we try to celebrate it in a manner similar to home. We cook Doro Wat, bake bread, prepare coffee and brew nonalcoholic homemade drinks that are similar to Tella. We also invite guests; we eat, drink and chat. However, no matter how hard we try, we cannot bring holiday’s vibe similar to that of home,” she said.
The varieties of music aired around holiday times and special programs presented through various channels at home, including YouTube, have the power to influence one’s mood and bring back past experiences and memories, especially on those who are residing abroad, she remarked.
According to her, because almost all of the responsibilities of holiday’s preparations fall on them, and their attachment along with their family is too strong, the memory stamped on their mind is bigger. And when moved to other countries, it can trigger a stronger sense of longing and homesickness.
A Social Psychologist residing in London Redeit Feleke agrees with this idea. According to her, humans as social beings, enjoy social gatherings and spending special events with friends and families. No matter what their economic or social status is, people tend to enjoy time with families, friends, and neighbors who share the same cultural backgrounds. Owing to this, it is natural to experience some type of stressful feelings for the reason they separated from the people and places they were once familiar with.
Particularly, when a holiday is just around the corner, most of them can feel loneliness and stress as holidays bring back old memories. More Ethiopians residing abroad are seen experiencing holiday blues during the holiday season. This is because of the fact that the cultural and religious practices that come along with holidays may take them back to their good and bad reminiscences.
What is more, during holidays, women’s roles are wide-ranging. From shopping to cleaning, from cooking to serving, they exert utmost energy to make holidays more enjoyable and unforgettable. This in return can have greater pressure to cause one to recall past experiences, feel a strong sense of longing; and even the other way round, to be missed by their family members, she added.
“In my opinion, women, due to their delicate nature, their strong bond with their family and the reason they took the lion’s share in the preparation of holiday, the extent of their homesickness is higher,” she pronounced.
Mental Health Science Researcher, Eng. Wondimu Negash on his part said that feeling a strong sense of longing or nostalgia for one’s birthplace, family, or home country during significant times, such as holidays, is a common human experience. This emotional attachment and longing are often attributed to several psychological and neuroscientific factors, for instance cultural significance, social connection, emotional experiences, psychological discomfort, among others.
According to the researcher, many cultural traditions and celebrations are deeply rooted in specific geographic regions or home countries. These traditions often carry a strong emotional attachment; and being away from them during significant times can evoke feelings of homesickness and nostalgia.
“Holidays and special occasions often involve spending time with family and friends. When people are separated from their loved ones, they may experience feelings of loneliness and a desire to be with those they care about most,” he reiterated.
As to him, our brains are wired to form associations between certain places, people, or objects and the emotions we experience in their presence. Over time, our birthplace, family, and home country become strongly associated with positive emotions, making us yearn for them when we are separated. Equally, psychological comfort or familiar environments and people provide a sense of psychological comfort and security.
Being away from these sources of familiarity can lead to discomfort and a desire to return to the known and predictable. However, it should be known that the intensity of these emotions can vary greatly from person to person. Some individuals may experience a more profound emotional attachment than others, influenced by their personal experiences, upbringing, and cultural background.
Underscoring that neuroscience research continues to explore the neural underpinnings of attachment, nostalgia, and the impact of cultural and familial ties on emotional experiences Eng. Wondimu said that studies have shown that brain regions like the hippocampus, which is involved in memory consolidation, and the amygdala, associated with emotional processing, play roles in these processes.
However, the field is complex and emotions are multifaceted, so there is ongoing research to deepen the understanding of these phenomena, he concluded.
BY ELIZABETH MENGISTU
The Ethiopia Herald September 14/2023
