BY KFLEEYESUS ABEBE
Of all my childhood dreams, there is one distinct dream I still remember. In my teenage years, I used to wish that I would have a large green land, maybe at outskirt of a town, and a small humble house in the middle. Refreshing to see, right ?! I would say it will be my home where I will read extensively, think about life and write what I feel. It is a heaven I built inside me. I didn’t know it was an expensive dream. It was just like that I wanted my fate to be, to have wisdom and have something to community. Growing up, my dream started to become distant. It dawned on me to have an acre of land, knowledge and peace of mind is everyone’s dream. So, actualizing such dream entails a bitter fight.
Though the vast green land and the humble hut are still far froml a reality, the hope of getting vast knowledge and peace of mind is still on the run. Reading Ernest Hemingway’s “The Old Man and the Sea”, I found this: “It is silly not to hope, besides I believe it is a sin.” It is one of powerful quote that encourages me in my hardtimes. Saying it is silly not to hope, I by no means endorsing anyone. Neither implying we are on the right direction. But what is life without the hope. We wake up everyday and say it is a new day. A new day is not for the light. It is for new situation that we may face. If there is a new situation, there will also be a new opportunity or challenge.
I know life isn’t like teenage dream. I don’t write this to give anyone advice. The different circumstances of people is noted. In fact, I have got advice like the one Gatsby got from his father. “In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.‘Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,’ he told me, ‘just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.’ It is upheaval battle especially for someone living in Subsaharan Africa.
Subsaharan Africa is a composition of 49 African countries and majority of them are least developed countries. You know what Subsaharan Africa notoriously known for: high malnutrition rates, poor infrastructure, bad governance, corruption and so on. I live in this and I know it. There is an Amharic proverb roughly translated : you can’t avoid sleep just because you would see terrifying dream. We keep on going amidist of this terrifying realites. On defying this, there are also opportunities like this region is blessed with abundant resources.
We expect something good to happen to our lives everyday. There is no chance or it is a lie for someone to wish bad in the morning. Since life carries on, hope persists. Hope is the belief that there is tomorrow. The work we do is in anticipation of something better. Therefore we need to wish something large, something big, something that persists.
This was all I had written but he was furious since he lived most of his life giving up. He took all the hard points. He chooses to see the Old Man’s struggle than the fish he found at last. He argued me why this old man has to suffer, why people have to suffer to a life that is even very short. I had nothing to say. He has some points. I had no reply for none of this. I know this agitation. I have seen people giving bad comments even for good things. It is insults, curses and condemnation took all the spaces. Who would dare?! Who would dent name and challenge this?! It is this people unjustified anger that made many people with good things to say quiet. It is the irritation that make some people reserved from giving the right direction. Resentment covered the hope so the path will be blurred.
The answer infact was that it is that what humanbeing is. We are born in this world what is first wild, forest or barren land. We are born to make it a town. To tame the wild animal. To smooth the path, to make a road. To make a shelter. If it is a barren land, to create vegetation. We have both opportunities and a challenges. I was too scared to say this. He was broken. He was a torment soul very tough to console. He would take it as an insult. Like I am insulting him, “you are weak, incompetent, damn…….” But someone who lost his hope is a sinful man. He doubted God, himself and could do anything out of betterment. This is what a preacher would say.
After a brief moment, he asked me back: “ok, why some people carry with their dream while others lose it?” I don’t have the right answer. But whoever lose the dream doesn’t have it first. There must be some foundation, wisedom to protect it, to grow it and then it can be achieved.
While I make all this stuff, all the challenges of the generation came to me. The left generation; sons and daughters who haven’t got tending hands. Poor them! It bothers me hard. I always think what I could do to them. Whenever I see them on the street, I ask who to blame. I see some sober but with injuries and others staggering being intoxicated. I could give alms but I know would never be enough. My wicked mind also think people are giving them alms to keep them where they are.
The third person who I know little joined the discussion. I believe there must be hope since we cling to hope in the hard time. He retorted, “without it we all could end up in mental instituion.” He continues, “what then we could do?”
I know they are asking themselves. Wondering how this generation or the future breaks the shackles and find hope. I felt I am being asked like “the prophet” in Kahlil Gibran’s novel. I wish I would say something that would give hope for the despair. But hope is dynamic, intrinsic than given from outside. I know my take on hope is this weak but afterall nobody takes anything serioulsly. They would feel they are less of a man if they take anyones suggestion. Why do I say this? It is written: “A prophet is not without honor (respect) except in his hometown and among his relatives and in his own household.”
For hope is for future, it needs wisedom. It needs caution. It needs listening ear. It is humility to listen to anyone with knowledge. It is not something chased from frustration. It is rather a calm journey penetrating thick forest. The thing is hope must be distinct from daydream, fantasy or reckless optimism. It maybe like a mirage that goes when you get closer.
I felt like a guru saying this but I myself is in constant struggle to find hope, to keep the light alive. My comfort maybe living in minimal, searching for wisedom. I don’t know what they are looking for. Infact it is hard to know what people need these days. As long as there is no passion, hope could be distant.
The Ethiopian herald April 30/2023
