Marriage is a significant life milestone, symbolizing the union of two people in love and commitment. While wedding traditions vary widely across cultures ranging grand rituals to modest, intimate gatherings, they all reflect unique societal values and heritage of each society. Despite these differences, the core purpose remains the same: celebrating the beginning of a new journey together.
Ethiopia, a country rich in ethnic, linguistic, and cultural diversity, is home to a wide array of sociocultural traditions that reflect the unique identities of its communities. One such example is the wedding ceremonies.
According to Department Head of Semien Shewa Zone Culture and Tourism Office in Amhara State, Tewabech Getachew, marriage is a unique cultural practice celebrated by all ethnic groups though the process and celebrations vary from area to area. In the Semien Shewa Zone, for instance, each district has its unique marriage customs, she said, mentioning the Asagirt Woreda in the Zone.
Weddings in Asagirt Woreda are conducted under cultural norms, traditional and religious practices. As part of the process, a key prerequisite for marriage is verification that the prospective bride and groom are not related by blood for up to seven generations to avoid consanguineous marriage and encourage the expansion of family lineages. And once this is confirmed, the process can proceed to the next step.
According to her, marriages in Asagirt can take different forms, one of which is arranged marriage, initiated by the families, or the second one made by the free will of the bride and groom. In traditional arrangement, it is usually the groom’s family initiates the proposal, with key figures—often the father, uncle, or aunt— play central roles in the process.
The girl’s background is carefully investigated to ensure she has been raised with strong moral values, character, and comes from a well-regarded family. Once her background has been deemed acceptable, the groom’s family selects three respected elders, known for their wisdom, influence, and high standing within the community to approach the girl’s parents, usually on a Sunday when they are likely to be at home.
As part of the culture, the elders, upon arriving at the girl’s parents’ house, do not accept the invitation to go inside. Instead, they remain seated outside with her parents. Then, the elder with the highest regard stands and explains the purpose of their visit; and formally request the girl’s hand in marriage.
Interestingly, the girl’s parents do not respond to the elders’ request at once. Instead, they would request to consult with relatives, and schedule a second meeting.
On the agreed day, the elders return to learn the response. If the proposal is rejected, the girl’s family respectfully and courteously explains their reasons. One common cause for rejection may include concerns over not holding a high social status or other reservations. However, if the proposal is accepted, the family may even slaughter cattle in their honor, as a sign of their both respect and social standing. They also arrange a third meeting to set the wedding date and discuss ceremonial arrangements.
According to Tewabech, in Asagirt, weddings always held in January and April. Thus, the two parties decide on a date within the coming month and; start preparations.
On the wedding day, the groom arrives at the bride’s house around 9:00 pm, accompanied by three groomsmen and a group of 7 to 20 people, including his father and the three elders. The size of the companions depends on the financial capacity of the host family. The lead best man carries the bride’s dowry, which typically includes shoes, a dress and shawl, undergarments, a sweater, a silver necklace with a pendant, earrings, a headscarf, an umbrella, a comb, and a mirror.
As they arrive, the guests wait outside until invited in by the bride’s side, showing respect. They are then welcomed by elders, invited to enter and seated on rugs made from cattle hide. Later, young girls ask the groomsmen to present the dowry items one by one.
Presentation of dowry is often performed smoothly. However, if any item is missing, the bride’s family may request for clarification or request for a guarantor to fulfill and deliver the missing item later, and proceed to the next step, where the groom’s father offers grain, an ox, a cow, and a goat to support the couple’s livelihood. At this point, as an integral part of the dowry ceremony, all dowry items are counted, recorded and signed by the newlyweds and witnesses.
Afterward, the groomsmen and their party take their designated seats accompanying the groom. They eat, drink, and sing in celebration. Meanwhile, the bride prepares by dressing in traditional clothing, braiding her hair and putting on her shoes. She then sits covering her face with a shawl. To trick the best man, her friends also sit beside her, dressed identically.
The best man then ties a headscarf on the bride, places a necklace around her neck, and has her sign the dowry document. Perfume is sprayed for everyone as a festive gesture. Shortly after, the best men return to escort the bride. At this point, her relatives playfully block them from entering and taking her, singing traditional songs that mock the best men. However, since it is the culture of the community, no one is offended by the playful mockery.
After some playful resistance, the bride’s relatives allow the best man to choose and take the bride from among her identically dressed friends. If he picks the wrong girl, the crowd laughs and mocks him again. Should he continue to choose incorrectly, they eventually reveal the real bride, who is then brought to sit beside the groom.
The best men and bridesmaids then serve food to the newlyweds on a large communal plate. Guests are also treated to dinner. After the meal, the bride’s father records the names of the women who will escort her. If ten escorts come from the groom’s side, the bride’s family doubles that number and sends twenty from their side to accompany her. The groom also chooses a bridesmaid to stay close to the bride, and assist her whenever she needs help. Before leaving, the bride and groom, along with their best men and bridesmaids, kneel and kiss the knees of elders, including her parents, aunts, uncles, older siblings, turn by turn, in a show of deep respect.
As the final part of the ceremony, all receive blessings from the religious father and elders. At the end, they receive special bread (Defo Dabo) baked specifically for the occasion to give a new name to the bride by the groom’s family. With this, they begin their journey. The best man assists the bride to sit on the back of a horse or a mule, especially if the road is mountainous or hilly. If she becomes tired, they may even carry her themselves.
Upon arrival at the groom’s home, the newlyweds sit on a mat, and the bride is given a new name—typically that of her mother-in-law—often associated with gold, symbolizing value and honor. The wedding couple is then served Doro Wot (spicy chicken stew), and the celebration continues with traditional songs and dancing until nightfall. The couple is later escorted to their bedroom.
In the morning, the best men wake up and sing cultural songs proudly. Particularly, if the bride is a virgin, the celebration becomes even more jubilant. Preparations are then made to visit the bride’s family. Coffee is brewed, and the ceremonial wedding bread is cut or sliced.
The third day of the wedding is a special day when the newlyweds visit the bride’s parents, accompanied by their best men and bridesmaids. They are warmly welcomed by close family members, including parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and siblings. The lead best man enters first, followed by the couple, who kneel and kiss the knees of the elders before taking their seats. They are served generously and remain with the bride’s family until the fifth day of the wedding festivities. After this, they return to their home, which marks the official culmination of the ceremony, Tewabech concluded.
BY STAFF REPORTER
THE ETHIOPIAN HERALD WEDNESDAY 16, July 2025
