Ephrem Endale Contributer
Say it is the ‘baddest’ day of your life as just a few minutes ago you’ve learned you’ve been fired from work. Or, to use maybe a ‘politically correct’ term, you’ve been ‘downsized’ and are your way only God knows to where. If this ever more very unfair world of ours has fierce enemies at all, you’re the fiercest of them all at that time. I mean in “May God save you for that!” sort of incidents like losing your job your ‘enemies’ aren’t only you immediate bosses but the entire world. After all, there could be no curse worse than being practically chased out of the very job you thought would carry all the way to retirement age. In the older days people fought for government jobs mainly for one reason, retirement is assured! You have been embedded at the place for years and thoughts of getting the marching orders never cross you mind. After a few years in any job there seems to be this tendency of taking things for granted. We forget we’ve employers with their own needs, interests and also prejudices.
So, we don’t entertain the worry of the ax falling one day and when it does our entire world caves in. One bright morning you go to your office your face lit up like it never did and on your desk there is this very thin envelop. Aha! As they say, “those who are patient enough will one day have children from their wives;” (crude translation from the original Amharic pun,) Well, you’ve been patient for the raise to come and there it’s was on your table. Come evening and your better half would be one exhilarated lady. believe me you don’t rush to open such envelops because you KNOW what they hold! Once firmly in your seat and having called for a cup of coffee you open your envelop and pull out the piece of paper. “It is a wonder this small piece of paper is valued at seven or eight thousand birr,” the least raise you expect.
After the first tired and clichéd one-line greeting the next line begins with the word “Sorry…” Sorry! That must be the weirdest way to announce a raise! The words that follow could be equated with some warfront barrage of heavy weapons. And then the message hits you with the precision of a sniper who knows his trade. “Starting….your employment has been terminated!” that’s all there is to it. When you were employed so many forms had to be filled that they almost took an entire world; and they kick you out with a five or six sentence sorry piece of paper! Dour
The totality of the shock was so strong you leave the office without even confronting the CEO or whoever it is who runs the place. It is during this harshest of times that you run into some person you know. Seeing you in the most foul of moods he might ask you, “What’s wrong with you?” But then these days many of us wearing those dour faces few if any one asks such questions. Anyway, this guy being one amongst the few asks “You don’t look alright. Is anything wrong?” ‘Everything is wrong you dude!’ your every cell silently screams. Of course that you’ve lost your job isn’t the first response that comes to your mind. In fact you might even hate him for asking. It is if your bosses have deliberately planted him in the streets to make life more unbearable for you.
Do you know when the second placed real story of the day comes! When the guy takes his leave; he says, “Have a nice day!” What! What did this dude just say! You’re the most dejected soul on the planet and he wishes you a nice day! This is one of those times when wishes for “a nice day” never sound as musical as the words suggest.
Say a deal for which you have worked for several months seems to be going in all the right directions and you’re in high spirits. You tell your princess, “I think they’ll award me the contract.”
“Oh that is so wonderful darling! I knew you’d get it!” she says carpeting your face with the most passionate of kisses. You feel that you have a quarter of the world in your palm. It is not always that you get a one million birr contract! In case no one told you one million birr is still quite a lot of money! Then one late morning your cell phone rings and you answer it with all the world’s smiles lighting up your face. Then that executive secretary’s voice which has been music to you for weeks while comes; “Hello!” If your response “Hello!” doesn’t sound like the ‘Mother of all “Hellos,” then contrary to what you thought last evening is still in you veins. (Even the traditional morning shuro wot didn’t do the trick! Down with all hangovers!)
And then the ax which pops in the most unwanted of places falls; “I’m sorry to tell you this; but I have my orders to tell you that the deal has fallen through and the project is off the books.” What! What the hell; is going on. How can something for which scores of appears have been written and your signature is all over the place ‘fall through’ just like that! And also, how can she tell you such news with the calmest and most indifferent of voices!
An hour or so later you’re in this café with your third cup of coffee and a lady who more than a few time led you almost to the very doors of hell shows up. I mean you might be one sin away from “May your soul suffer for eternity without the possibility of parole!” The devil hasn’t been easy on you and more than once you almost cursed yourself for ‘rushing’ into marriage. Lucifer always winks at you; “Look what you’ve been missing!”
Anyway this lady greets you like she always did appearing she had a thousand and one smiles to spare. Hers were measured and perfectly executed greetings. Then she notes all was not well. “Is there any problem! You look so sad!” the only answer she gets is your sheepish smiles. At least you can’t deny her that. Unable to dig anything out of you she leaves you. But not before a peck on the cheek! At other times that softest of pecks would have sent the currents from head to toe. Not this time. Something was wrong with the nerve endings on your cheeks. And then the ICBM hits home; “Have a nice day!” Oh no! Not from her!
Yes it is impossible to get any more musical sounding wishes than, “Have a nice day!” And when is genuine so are your feelings.
And then there is this; a low level team decimates your favorite premier league team and you’ve taken it personally; And when you take such things personally there are two outstanding scenarios; ether you really are moving around with the most crucial screws missing form upstairs or your idea of being a fan has been hacked! Ha! Ha! I mean it, in case of being hacked the only way you want to make your comments heard is through your fists. There were times when parts of our city got in real mess when the Gunners were pummeled as it there was no goalie at their end, or when the Reds were run over so unceremoniously as if a spell has been cast on the players and ten of the elven ended up with banana legs! And some Addis youth run through the evening streets going after the fans of the other team.
The next morning, of all people a fan of the winning team says to you, “Have a nice day.” A Mike Tyson upper cut wouldn’t have hurt so much!
Anyway “Have a nice day!”
The Ethiopian Herald 29 January 2023