BY GIRMACHEW GASHAW
Afambo is a special district found in Afar State. It is borderd with Somali region on south, Duti on west, Asayita on north and international border with Djibouti on east. It is an intersting place as it is a home for chains of lakes: Lake Afambo, Lake Gummare and Lake Bario. Equal or more, Afambo is also known for its unique culture that also shared by other Afar people.
Going through a village in Afambo, you would be fascianted by many things but there marraige is rather unique. Across the world, wedding ceremonies might be different but it is unusual to hear the existence of types of marriages. In Afambo, there are two types of cultural marriages. The first Absuma is one of the customary marriages among Afari relatives. The spouses in this type of marriage are expected to be cousins. Where as, the second type of marriage “Konfera” is based on the agreement and love between a man and woman.
Absuma is the commonest and assorted traditional wedlock in Afar State. The interesting news that I heard in the area is, following the prohibition of abduction, over the last so many years no report of abduction is heard. Rooted out, it is no longer exercised.
Absuma has unique features from the start to the end of the ceremony.
Preparation
A week before the weeding, the bride performs ablution. Ablution of the bride is a must. Old women wash the bride and decorate her hand using a dyeing herb called – Hina. Then they comb and braided her hair along with various ornaments. They also advise the bride to put on a special type of costume typical to Afambo area.
After above mentioned tasks are completed and checked by the old women, they send her to her age-mates and encourage her to sing a song and dance with them. Raising various issues she and her friends chat freely and relax. Her family members prepare and serve various kinds of foods and drinks common in the area. In this case, except chitchatting with the bride and passing good times with her, her mates are not allowed to do any other job. The sole assignment they get entrusted with is talking, talking and talking with the bride. Among her family members one individual will be assigned and take the task of protecting the bride and her mates from any unforeseen mishaps. She keeps a vigilant eye on her lest the bride runs away.
Hymeneal
Normally Wedding in Afambo takes place on Thursday night. Till then, her relatives too gather at her parent’s home and talk with her. What makes the invitation unique is it is normally held on Wednesday night and the special type of dishes prepared. Mufe, special bread and a porridge made of milk are often on Afar’s menu list for such a night. Though the Afari may not have inkling about a microwave oven, they have invented somewhat a replica of it to prepare one of the delicious foods of them; Mufe and bread. A hot metal box is buried under the ground and the box is made to get heat at all sides while the dough or bread gets baked at the right amount of heat. Soon the Mufe gets ready as good as oven baked bread.
On Thursday night, the bride puts on a ring which indicates that her being officially married with her husband. Celebrants take her to her future house on the back of a camel well-decorated with flowers and shiny materials. The Afari’s call this ceremony Ibena. One of her friends that play the role of a bridesmaid tends the bride sitting by her back. If her shoe, cloth or one of the things in her backpack drops down, this friend of hers will be fined 1000 birr or a cow according to the agreement reached earlier. Normally the bride is cloaked by a cloth in such a way no body can see her. Among her relatives some see her off. A few spend the whole night with her. Celebrants from both parties—the bride’s and bridegrooms— stage a traditional dance. The songs are mostly loud the couples and the bride’s families and relatives.
On the morrow, except her three bridesmaids, her relatives return back to her home. For about 40 days, she stays with her husband. On the 41th day, it is referred as Husemmanda in Afambo of Afar, the bride enjoys her family members particularly her mother’s inclusive visit slaughtering a cow and preparing a delicious dish and packing all her handicraft materials which the bride made before marriage. The bride, bridesmaid, friends, the bridegroom and his relatives enjoy the food. In the afternoon, they change her hair style from ‘Sadula’ to that of an adult woman’s style common in Afambo. And, they hang all her handicraft products on the wall of her new house and return back home.
After hymeneal
Then among the bridesmaid the one who is more close to the bride stay with her for additional 40 days. At the end, her husband organizes a special bone-voyage ceremony. Thereafter, she once more returns back to her parents’ home again. It is after she gave birth she reunites with her husband and stays with him for good. This thing is still going on a deeply entrenched culture of the area.
Many girls get engaged at their early stage and they find themselves unable to evade the burden of work that awaits them. Fetching water, rearing children, preparing meals, building huts are some of the tasks saddled on women. There is a fear that married women, shouldering domestic chores, could desert their husbands and flee to towns. According to Afari’s culture, a woman who has no capacity to do what another woman does will be subject to insults of infirmity. That is why a married woman returns to her mother’s house and wait until she becomes a mentally and physically matured person.
Though she rejoins her families, it doesn’t mean that she will be pampered by her mother. Here it has to be clear that no distance is created between the married woman and her husband. No body prohibits the bridegroom from visiting her at any time. He can also present a request to her family if facing a problem needs the assistance of his wife. The main objectives of returning a married woman to her family lies in enabling her by offering practical training on child rearing, food preparation, and fetching water and so on. Unless and otherwise, ‘scared by the work load that awaits her, a young wife could desert her husband and flee!’ is the fear of people in Afambo community.
Family support
Normally a special support is accorded to the husband and the bride. The bride’s mother in law build a hut of wood and Depora (palm fronds and matting) for them. She also gives them a bed, traditional carpets and an assortment of household utensils to them. Mother of the bride also gives the newlyweds various utensils upon reuniting with her husband for good. Aside from the aforementioned gifts, the newly bride get camel, goat or any sort of animal from her parents. This kind of present in Afar called ‘Harsa’ or in Amharic (Makurefia) that helps the bride to take pride or keep her neck up right, when disagreement occurs between her and her husband.
It is important to know that this culture “Absuma” is becoming less practiced as urban and educated Afaris are embracing the second type of marriage: a marriage between two loving couples, and child marriage is prohibited by law. Yet, some componenets of ceremony are still interesting to watch and read.
THE ETHIOPIAN HERALD THURSDAY 11 AUGUST 2022
