Who is accountable for the absence of proper parental and societal guidance? Many people believe that children have come to this world without being asked for; it is not of their own consent. It appears that they are rather forced into such demanding existence. Unless it is fairly and well assessed, it sounds meaningless to blame children for what they are now.
As a matter of fact, planned family management can be accountable for it. If this is properly implemented, parents will be happy about it and are willing to take full responsibility for the situation that calls for their intervention into play. They do all they can to train their child to be set on the right that track the society approves.
The fate of the children depends on their parents’ life and their relationship. Some people find it normal to peacefully live with their family and friends. There are certain principles that help improve social life. While analyzing this, selfishness comes into picture.
Rather than thinking only about yourself, focus on the needs of your spouse too. You can establish good relationship with your spouse, instead of being a receiver when you are a giver. If you are selfish your relationship with others will be bad. For instance, if a husband is selfish, he can decrease his faithfulness for his wife.
In addition, if someone always brags about his wealth or knowledge, nobody wants to be his friend let alone a spouse. Selfishness causes many problems. To solve such a problem, help others. True friends trust and help each other. Studies show that families who assist others, their chance of being affected by stress is very slim.
The value they have for themselves is high. Children who grow in such good parental model, no doubt, they will have holistic development and imitate their parents’ exemplary life style in their future. They do not be a menace to their parents and the society they live in. ‘Blessed children’ is the name given to them by the society. It is a kind of recognition bestowed upon the children for their good behavior and submission to the norms of the society.
While living with your wife, it is good to understand her feelings. A spouse who understands his life partner, shares her hidden trouble. If you understand your spouse’s feelings do not make a sarcastic remark. Bear in mind the children watch everything you do. For the sake of your wife and the future of your children, your speech should be spiced that it will be relished when uttered.
Imaginatively, responsible parents should send their love and prayers to their children when they are away and the children should as well do the same to their parents. In the Ethiopian context, faith-based upbringing lays the fertile ground for good behavior and the fruitful future citizenship. While the children learn with mind and with their hearts, compassion should rule in all their doings and should also impart the same feelings to fellow friends and adults.
The disparity in the relationship with the society will be normalized and both parties, the children and the society, will establish their smooth relationship in the accepted fashion and in accordance to the norms of that particular society. The new relationship will have new focus and new goal of maintaining peace and order of the society and sustainable economic development. Unruly children are a set back to the accepted norms and they will force their friends to follow suite. The chain of action and reaction of such process will, at the end, bring back the morally lost young people into the fold of the society. On the other hand, it is possible that gentle parents cherish their children and by and large the children cherish their friends who are on the brink of destruction. The children thus will tenderly care for their friends who they do not want them to be lost.
There are things that sidetrack children from the normal way of following the rules of parental guidance. As it is previously indicated, the thing that worries us, the parents, is the long time the children waste watching television. Worse, now video games, computers, mobile phones have emerged. These things, more than having great impact on little children, they also make them develop the kind of characteristics addicted persons have. Since their mind is used to seeing and listening to many exciting things, they get confused as to what to do.
Many young people, if they have a hand set music and film players, they do not feel like going out of the house. Since these and other equipment can perform things easily and fast and are obtainable with cheap price, the current communication technology flood is increasing more and more. This situation has made it very difficult for the parents to control, train and correct their children. Could not this be one of the factors to make the children become unruly?
Parents can overcome these tempting situations by doing two things: First, it is necessary for the parents to accept the truth in the Bible, which says, “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of the discipline drives it from him.” (Proverbs 22:15). Second, parents understanding the good or bad impacts technology has on the children, it is necessary for them to try and make it have positive impacts on.
This, the writer thinks, should start from the babyhood. In many homes, children are introduced to technology by television. In fact, television most of the time serves as a baby sitter. However, according to some psychiatrist, these children, in addition to the lack of interest in physical exercise, they find it difficult to differentiate the film world from the real world. More so, it can entail emotional problems and eventually makes it difficult to concentrate in the class.
In fact, some people arrive at a wrong conclusion that children suffer from such problem due to attention deficit disorder or attention deficit hyperactivity. Thus medical professional advise the children under two should not watch television. A child in the first two years, of all things, needs very close relationship with his parents. Such close relationship is created when parents talk, play with the children and read to them; when the parents read to their children all the time, the children will develop love and habit for reading. It is irrefutable truth that millions of children know about computers and relevant technology.
It is much better to identify things that they pass time with interest than just see them be fully engrossed in computers and the like. Apart from what has been suggested, it is possible to assist children to learn some kind of handicraft or how to play musical instrument to joyfully pass their time. If you carefully select something for your children, assist them they can wisely use their time more than that entertains them; they can also gain other benefits.
By doing so, in this world, where technology cannot find solutions for all problems, the children can develop characters such as patience, self-control and the power and the ability of creativity and the like. Children reared in such parental guidance will become assets for the society. Any method other than this, is utterly useless and harmful to the child himself and the social environment.
Children like adults, need wisdom and far sightedness. The development of such characters is not only for differentiating the right from the wrong, but it enables us to identify which is and which is not the right way. It is not forbidden to waste time watching video games and television but not for a very long time.
At this junction, the writer implores parents and other responsible citizens to contribute to the whole efforts of creating dependable future adults, the backbone of the nation to proudly stand erect without fear and shame and with their chins up and chests out. In such circumstance, unruliness should not have a chance to thwart the development of the children whatsoever
BY JOSEPH SOBOKA
The EthiopianHerald 20 June 2021
