“No Man is an island” is an old metaphor coined by the English poet John Donne in one of his famous poems of the same title first published in 1624. The opening and ending lines of the poem go as follows:
“No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main … any man’s death diminishes me.
Because I am involved in mankind and therefore never send to know for whom.The bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
Reverting to the central message of today’s “Short Story”, the two protagonists are Amanuel, a life –long inveterate bachelor, and his long-time friend Eshetu, who has now been married for forty years.
“I am an island on a sea of money, I don’t really need anything or anybody except the sea of money which makes me an island. That’s also true of a piece of land surrounded by a sea,” said Amanuel.
“But you need a woman for love and sex. Isn’t that a fact?” Eshetu argued back.
“I don’t really need love. All I need is sex because of the natural sex drive implanted in us by Mother Nature, and I can buy sex with my money. What’s my sea of money for?” Amanuel replied.
“Sex without love is rape or masturbation,” said Eshetu.
“Call it what you will, but it is orgasm all the same and that is what Mother Nature mandates,” Amanuel said.
“Haven’t you read the great Ayan Rand? She says sex is a celebration of love,” Eshetu argued.
“She can say whatever she likes, but the fact of the matter is that love is really nothing more than an artificial mental construct created by the powerful, natural sex drive,” Amanuel replied.
“Are you denying the existence of love?’’ Eshetu asked.
“It is an ephemeral, unstable, largely transient and subjective mental concoction which exists in the mind. I cannot deny anything that exists in the mind as it is a form of existence. But, it can be extinguished at will since it is an artificial mental construct without a solid natural foundation like sex,” said Amanuel.
“That may or may not be true, but how can you fail to appreciate the fact that you cannot but love a woman who gives you pleasure or happiness by satisfying your natural sexual need. As you say, orgasm may be a temporary pleasurable experience, but its memory is likely to last for some time and if the act is repeated many times, it would form a stream of memorable pleasant experiences, the source of which you must perforce first like and then eventually love,” Eshetu drew upon his first–hand experience of love to expound quite confidently on the issue.
“Excellent, but I do not want to depend on any one woman for love; if I must depend on anybody for love, then it must be myself and my sea of money, which would make me an island on a sea of money,” said Amanuel.
“Ok, Amanuel, let us call it a day. I think we have discussed the issue sufficiently although it is quite difficult to reach a definitive agreement on,” said Eshetu and produced his wallet to settle the bill for the coffee over which they were having the discussion at the Sheraton Addis.
“Oh! Eshetu, you have a whole family to look after on a monthly income of about 20,000 Birr, or so you told me, while that is the amount my assets earn per second. Forget the coffee bill. Here is a cheque for a million Birr if it can be of any assistance to you, but, for God’s sake, do not think that I am trying to buy your friendship with money,” said Amanuel.
“Ah! You appreciate and respect my friendship, which means you like me without having to pay me from your sea of money. This is purely an inter –personal relationship obtained not on a transactional basis but out of being human. I like you as a friend as much as you like me without you employing your inanimate docile servant called money to do it. I will definitely accept the gift since you are giving it out of pure friendship. Thank you very muc,” said Eshetu.
Amanuel was struck profoundly by what Eshetu said: On the basis of what Eshetu said about their long–standing friendship, love does exist whether Amanuel loves the woman who gives him lovable orgasm or not, as long he loves orgasm, but it stands to reason to assume that he must also love the origin of that orgasm which he loves, who is the woman. So, after thinking deeply along these lines, he finally concluded that the “self is not self–sufficient” and that all human beings are interdependent, be it in purely intimate interpersonal relationships or in the exchange of goods and services to satisfy one’s bodily and moral needs. He thought and said to himself: “ No man is an island is a witty metaphor which seems to counter the stand–alone and autonomous personalities of individuals, but on closer scrutiny reflects the particularly interdependent complementarily of man and woman and generally of human beings at large.”
So, he phoned one of the numerous women he had dated over many years, who he thought gave him the most pleasurable orgasm and said: “Honey, have you got anything special to do tonight?”
“Darling, there is nothing in the world more important, adorable and sweet to me than you!”
“Then, please come over and we will have a special night together at the Sheraton Addis,” he hold her.
“You bet! Right away!” she said and ended the telephone conversation.
She drove to the Sheraton in the luxury automobile Amanuel bought her a few years ago. When they met, she threw herself at him and kissed both his cheeks in the traditional Ethiopian way, which he loved immensely. They sat at a corner table and ordered dinner and drinks, soft and hard. He opened the conversation:
“Honey, you know something. I have been labouing under a chimerical delusion. I thought I really did not need anybody as long as I was swimming in the sea of money that I inherited from my wonderful and wealthy father. I have probably told you my current net worth which, by Ethiopian standards, is incredibly high at nearly 80 billion Birr or around 2 billion USD at the black market rate. So, I foolishly imagined that I could live independently like a ‘human island.’ That is a false interpretation of money and wealth. Of all the women I have slept with, you have given me the most ecstatic orgasm and because of that I love you the most. The fact that I paid you a considerable amount of money is beside the point. What is of the essence is that I love you and I love you more than any other woman I have met, and, what is more, I am dependent on you for that love, and, whether you love me as much as I love you or not at all, the fact that you have let me love you, even if it is for money, indicates that you love me too!”
“What is all that algorithmic and logarithmic logic for? I would love you without the money because you have given me the most ecstatic orgasm I have ever had! There is no doubt in my mind that I love you, too, perhaps more than you love me!” said the beautiful lady passing her hand through his sleek hefty hair on the side of his head.
“Sofia honey, what now remains is to give the Sheraton Hotel administration instructions to arrange an exquisite but private wedding ceremony. Diamond wedding rings are already on the way from Tiffany in London. The wedding dress will be from Paris. Measurements will be done on line,” Amanuel said.
Sofia could not believe her ears. “Is this a dream come true or a hallucination? I don’t really know which, Amanuel, I know you are a womanizer who vowed never to get married. What made you change your mind?” Sofia asked.
“Darling, as I was saying, ‘every man is an island’ uttered in opposition to John Donne’s ‘No man is an island’ is a misleading half –truth. ‘The self is not self–sufficient’ is a much more profound aphorism. My befogged viewpoint actually originated from the fact that I became a fabulously rich man not by hard work but by inheritance. If I had to labour and work hard to be rich, I would have clearly seen the glaring existence of the division of labour among workers and the interdependence in their exchange of goods and services necessary for their collective survival and progress. I am now planning to go into politics after I marry you and advocate a 70 percent inheritance tax and a seven percent share for workers in corporate profits over and above their due wages,” Amanuel said.
“Will your proposed 70 percent inheritance tax apply retroactively?” Sofia asked.
“Don’t worry I will give you twenty billion Birr of my fortune as soon as we get married, so that any probable retroactive application of the measure will not affect you,” said Amanuel.
“You know something Amanuel? I love you not only because you are so fabulously rich, but also because you are so smart,” Sofia said and gave Amanuel a soul kiss.
The wedding was an exquisitely choreographed spectacle the likes of which could only be seen in Hollywood movies. Sofia sparkled with glamour and vivaciousness and Amanuel looked at least ten years younger in the finest make-up you could find anywhere in the world. Eshetu was delectably dressed up and personified the pinnacle of bliss and happiness as he moved around officiating as Amanuel’s principal best man. Sheik Al-Amoudi, the owner of the Sheraton Hotel and the Midroc Group in Ethiopia, who had recently flown to Addis with the Prime Minister in a chartered Ethiopian Airlines flight from Jeddah after successful amicable negotiations with Saudi authorities, was the guest of honour who brightened up the atmosphere with his trademark joyfulness.
One of the guards at the main gate of the Sheraton phoned the chief administrator of the hotel and told him that there was considerable commotion near Ambassador Cinema in front of the Ministry of Defence. The administrator informed Sheik Al- Amoudi who said: “Do nothing. Just stay calm.” It was indeed a large crowd of protesters heading towards the hotel. Most of them were carrying canes but there were a few machetes as well. The crowd stopped at the main gate and what looked like the ring-leaders stepped forward and said one at a time: “Many of us here are college graduates with degrees and diplomas, but we still depend on our parents and relatives for food, shelter and clothing. We are all unemployed without any source of income. So-called opposition politicians now and then pay us 50 Birr ahead to roam around the city and create chaos. We really do not have any specific political agenda like ‘land to the tiller’ or ‘education for all’ like student protesters in the 1960’s. As you can see, we are underfed, stunted and half-hungry individuals who must perforce look like we are struggling for political and social change, but actually we are hungry citizens striving to stay alive.”
One of the guards took his handkerchief to dry his cheeks which were visibly getting wet with tears. He immediately ran to the hotel administrator and told him what he heard from the ringleaders. The administrator passed the information on to Sheik Al-Amoudi who in turn passed it on to Amanuel. Then, Amanuel whispered into Sofia’s ear and hurried to the main gate of the hotel and faced the crowd. His short pause before he spoke felt like an eternity and looked quite ominous. He too produced a handkerchief to dry his eyes, and the front batch of the crowd fell completely silent in utter suspense. What Amanuel said was incredible and ran thus: “My fellow Ethiopians, I have sinned against you. I have been swimming in a sea of money to prove that every man is an island while you were getting stunted from undernourishment and malnutrition. I have now renounced that half – truth and proved to myself beyond a shadow of doubt that no man is an island. I have sent out my aides to withdraw cash from bank accounts and distribute one thousand Birr each immediately and one million Birr each at a later time so that each one of you can create employment for yourself and possibly for some of your compatriots as well.”
The protesters spontaneously cast away their canes and machetes and one of the ringleaders asked of the guards, “What’s the name of the person who just spoke.” He told him. Then, the ringleader said: “Hey, guys repeat after me. Thank you Amanuel! Long live Amanuel!” Sheik Al-Almoudi who heard the chants walked to the main gate where he exchanged a few words with Amanuel. Sheik Al-Amoudi cleared his throat and said at the top of his voice: “I will match Amanuel’s promise Birr for Birr!” upon which the crowd chanted: “Thank you Al-Amoudi! Long Live Al-Amoudi!”
The Ethiopian Herald August 2/2020
BY TEKLEBIRHAN GEBREMICHAEL
