What do you want to be when you grow up? A question every kid supposedly faces.
“I’ll be a doctor.” I think that is the most popular response; with “I’ll be an engineer;” probably coming a close second. Almost every kid who as much walked by the doors of a cinema wanted to be a Clint Eastwood. I mean, the guy mowing down an entire crowd with a six shooter which is never reloaded! Can anyone any more impressive!
The time comes when you’ve to tell the world how you ended up in your profession. That’s when the most interesting stories see the light of day. Say, the guy by some luck ends up being some sort of a businessman.
“How did you end up being a businessman?”
“Well…” (I really enjoy the tone of ‘well’ when these people say it!) “…I was probably eight or seven when I told my dad that I’ll be a businessman.” Really! You really did that!… told your father you’ll be a businessman while still a toddler? You were a toddler in the remotest part of the nation and your world didn’t go further than the nearest spring and the hill on the northern side of your family’s cottage! You became a businessman by accident at the ripe old age of your mid-thirties! And it was your rich uncle who pulled you from job with chickenfeed for salary and provided
you with the seed money. Don’t implicate your poor, long gone daddy in something he isn’t part of! But that doesn’t do well for the medals you are aiming for, does it?
Hey, have you heard musicians giving interviews? Look, there are a couple of questions which should be preceded with something like… “Our esteemed viewers, these questions are asked only for comedic purposes. We advise you not to take them seriously.” That would have saved many viewers from depleting their stock of antacid solutions.
Say, the lady has been in the music business for more than half a century. Not that she has produced anything worth recalling. But her long service in the industry is enough to make her media material. She appears as a special guest in one of those drab ‘special holiday programs.’
“When did you start singing?”
“I started singing before I was even ten years old! The whole village gathered to hear me sing.”
No! No! No! Come on! What about all the complaints to your mom and dad! “Your kid is wailing the whole day and disturbing the sick and the old people of the village. You have to do something about her.” You were the bad apple of the village!
“How did you decide to be a musician?” Decide! Do people really sit down one particular day and decide, “I’ll be a musician.” Some might; but many are accidental musicians who just stumbled into the industry and by the time they wake up their hair style has already changed. Ha!
“One day I was playing at home and I heard Beyoncé singing…” What! What did the lady just say? ‘She said she heard Beyoncé…” Ok; Ok! I heard you. There was no Beyoncé in this world when you were ten! Of course the interviewer never, and I mean never go this far. Nice guys, aren’t they?
And there is this dandy of a question; “The rumors are that you’re a very rich musician. Can you tell me how much wealth you have?”
If you’re weak in the limbs forget about the answer.
“My only wealth is the Ethiopian people.” No way! NO WAY! You cannot quantify us so inhumanely! But no interviewer asks; “Can you explain that?” Being quantified as someone’s wealth! Maybe we have played some part in boosting bank account by buying albums, or going to concerts.
You might ask if I ever heard anyone saying “I want to be a politician,” Never! In this part of the world politics isn’t something you plan to be part of. It is like quick sand. You step on some ground and before you could cry, “Help!” You are in neck-deep in it. That must be why there is a lot of crap coming from those parts. You know what I think, many of these guys who are in politics lost their compass somewhere and landed in a place where they never dreamed of. You’re confused when you end up in a strange place, aren’t you? A little sympathy for the confused wouldn’t be out of place. The nicer genes in me have taken over. Maybe a little more reading might pump some seems in the many who are off tracks. At least one will get someone, or something to quote. A big OMG!
Just as parting note speaking of reading there are guys who read the first few pages of a book, a few middle pages and the last few pages. And when they talk about the contents you’d be pardoned to think “Did these guys edit those books!” That’s a question which only Robert Ludlum could answer! I mean, they are so good at their game he doesn’t leave much room for any doubt.
Finally, if I hear some smart guy “I planned to be a politician when I was still in elementary school: my answer would be? “Really! I hope next time you’ll come up with a more plausible story.”
The Ethiopian Herald July 24, 2020
BYEphrem Endale
