It happened a couple of years back; this fresh graduate young lady starts seeing a much older fellow. She made no secret about it and was often seen in public with him. In a way, that was a bold move on her part in a society where many try to decide your choices for you. A nosy friend of hers one day asks…
“People are talking about you. Aren’t you worried?”
“Worried about what?”
“Your boyfriend is old! I think you should…”
The young lady was going to have no more of it; “It’s none of your business.” Indeed; it was none of her business. That was the last nail in the coffin for a friendship of more than a decade. The lady was right; It was none of that gossipy friend of hers business! But unfortunately such rebukes fail to do justice to the rough edges of such individuals.
Say, you meet this person somewhere in town and you indulge in small talk; these days small talk could be as big as political gossip! You know, what is supposedly going behind the political curtains and the like. Then things come to more immediate matters…
“I hear you work in a different place now.”
“You heard right.”
Nothing wrong with that question; I mean changing your place of is seldom a closely held secret.
“So how are things at this new place?”
Look if it wasn’t for some sort of civility most of us cling to, the small talk should have stopped right there.
“Nice…” You don’t have to need to go through the noun, verb and whatever sentence construction stuff. It’s a sort of coded message that you don’t want to talk about it.
Then he drops the nuke;
“By the way, how much do they pay you?”
You feel like shouting “It’s none of your business!” It is none of his business! The problem is that whatever sum you tell the guy, chapter two will sure follow.
“What! You mean they pay him ten thousand a month! Why, the guy is a complete moron!”
“I think his boss and him are from the same ethnic group.” There you are; in case you haven’t heard, the talk making the rounds is that such things happen with disturbing frequency. But pinning such accusations on the innocent just because they make a sum better than they used to doesn’t always mean there is foul play!
These days there is a new game in town; the usual intrusive questions still abounding, the ‘A’ question now is “From which ethnic group are you?”
“It is none of your business!” That should be your answer. From whatever group you say you come be sure to face the scorns even hostility on the part of ill-wishing people quite a number of whom we seem to have these days. I have heard of minor hurricanes brought about with such questions.
“We have a new boss. He seems to be a nice guy.”
“Oh; from which ethnic group does he come?” None of your business! What is it to anybody form wherever the guy comes as long as he isn’t a Martian fellow without proper travel documents! Is intellect finally measured in line with someone’s birthplace? When you hear too many of these questions you know that we really are in a big mess and we need to get out of soon.
“How is your wife?”
What kind of question is that? “What do you mean?”
“I mean, how is her character?”
What is to you what my wife’s character is?
Then there are those who mention a politician’s or a so-called activist’s name and ask, “What are your feelings about him?”
Who says you have any feeling about him! In the first place you don’t consider the guy either a politician or an activist! He is in it for all the wrong things! Saying that might make you a no-nonsense, iron-principle guy for some. But, of course, survival these days seems to be not about standing your ground but playing the balancing act. Most responses open for interpretation, you try to stay on the safe side of the tracks.
“I don’t pay much attention to such things.”
If you think that is your way out safe and sound you need some ‘Reality 101’ course or something. You are supposed to take sides! You should categorize the mentioned fellow either with the angels or with Lucifer’s army! No gray area in between! These days the persons whom we like are angels, those we hate are devils.
“What! This is a national issue, and you say you don’t pay attention!” (Since when did con artists indulging in political chatter become ‘national’ material!) All of a sudden the politician or the so-called activist is off the hook and you replace him! You become ‘the issue.’ “Those who don’t pay attention are those who don’t want the good of the country.” (Didn’t I read that in some ‘red book!’?)
You hear about the rift with someone you know and his wife. The beer crowd is talking that she has been jumping on and off the wrong beds the hubby discovers her secret. Well that is a purely private matter. The issue here is not about her innocence or guilt, but about it being a purely personal matter between the two of them. But unfortunately, that’s not what others think. This guy claiming close friendship with the couple takes the liberty to intervene;
“Someone told me the news and I feel very sad! How can she do this to you?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I heard that your wife is sleeping around!”
Just imagine what the hubby would feel. That is meddling which calls the nastiest of punches Tyson Fury could deliver. The answer should be… “It is none of your business!” The fact is that many relationships have been broken up by those of us meddling in things which are none of our business!
A guy we know recently comes across a fiftyish mask without a facemask; This guy thinks he forgot to put it on and just as a reminder says “You don’t have your facemask on…” and the fellow’s answer was a hard fist to the midsection. “It is none of your business!” But this time around it is every bit of his business! Anything that affects you directly or otherwise is your business!
The Ethiopian Herald June 26, 2020
Ephrem Endale
