It was a late afternoon call from someone I knew; he didn’t even bother to go through the greetings routine. “I’m broke!” he said. Had been any other person I would have thought of that as an accusation and not as information. The tone of his voice was so strained it makes you feel those little invisible pricks here and there. I was at a loss of words. There was nothing I could do; he was calling from the edge of town and it was a Sunday! Sunday or whatever day, being a broke is the last experience you’d want to go through.
This happened ages back. It was a Saturday, my favorite day: still is. If things were normal I should have been wearing the broadest smiles on this side of space. That Saturday things were anything but normal. I didn’t have a single fifty cent coin in my pockets! And fifty cents did wonders in those days. Not that I was a big spender. But that was the day I reward myself to a few beers, for all the toil of the outgoing week. I was broke! Had it been any of the weekdays it wouldn’t have been an issue. But on ‘Blessed Saturday! In case you missed out, the world’s unfairness began long ago.
So I end up turning the pockets of old trousers inside out; and bingo! A five Birr note! A million dollar lottery win wouldn’t have made my heart jump that high. It might sound a little nutty; but I tell you I still remember the joy I had that day. I could have walked on water and wouldn’t have been any happier. The funny part was that when I got back home late afternoon the five Birr was still with me! So what was all the pocket digging all about, one might ask. The five Birr in possession wasn’t about being
able to have a cup of coffee. It was sheer POWER! You feel as powerful as the guy who pulls a ten thousand Birr wad to pay for a cup of cappuccino!
Being broke is never a good experience. Not having money enough for a cup of coffee is one thing; but being broke is in a class by itself. You never know what is around the corner.
When you’re broke and you need money for something you elevated to the level of ‘emergency’ you end up going to all the places you would have liked to avoid at all costs.
Say you have a date you have been dreaming of for long. (What could be an emergency if that wasn’t!) It was that once in lifetime
luck. Come morning after the date you will be the center of attention.
“Are you saying she agreed to go out with you?”
“Yes, she did you morons! Now you know the stuff I’m made of.”
“There must be something wrong. Are you sure she dint have any screws missing in her head?”
“You’re jealous. That’s what you guys are. The world is for us handsome guys.”
But that’s not going to happen; you’re broke! You other have to kiss your luck goodbye, or swallow your pride and hunt for those Good Samaritan friends. Even the guys who would treat you to an entire weekend of entertainment are broke when you most need them! The guy at the office who used to throw you some money whenever you asked for was recently kicked upstairs. You two are in different leagues. This time around asking him for money would be like the only thing in your hand was the begging bowl! After all even the evening phone calls coming from him have stopped. That was a big “stay in you league’ message. And there is this other guy with whom you used to go to school. He was the nicest guy nature could be proud of. But when you’re broke invisible forces keep thwarting your every move.
“Hey, can you spare a hundred Birr! I need it for something very important.”
He goes into that state where he seemed he was about to crack some ‘code of the century’ thing. Then he discovers it;
“I’ll tell you what; I’ll give you a call tomorrow.”
Hey! I need it right now.
There are people you know and wouldn’t ask for money. Not that they don’t have it; but because you don’t want to fall under their mercy. You know your name will be dragged through the rumor mill for the coming couple of months.
“He doesn’t have the money and he arranges a date with her!”
“I think we should convince him to talk to a psychiatrist.”
“Look, I always suspected he was sort of phony.”
There will be also those who would say; “So what! What if you’re broke! I am broke three hundred forty seven days a year and what are you whining about!”
Take my word and by the end of the month there will be nine versions of your profile. Being on the losing end of life’s boxing ring is never a nice thing.
You know the value of a ten Birr note, which these days practically does nothing, when you’re broke and you’ve no one to turn to. A hundred Birr meant your Date will to get the VIP treatment! She will be having the date of her life, and all he memories of guys before you would be subjected to the dustbin of history.
Believe me, being broke is a feeling you’ll be remembering for long when you miss out on your chance for a date with the prettiest creation of nature!
( BY Ephrem Endale )
“As I say, so it will be,”
“About this new group in the making, do you know the guys?”
“No, I don’t; but I can tell you they are a bunch of crooks.”
“Oh! How can you tell without knowing any of them?”
“You can tell by just looking at them.”
Aha, so that was the secret to your overflowing barrel of wisdom. “You can tell by just looking at them.” How can you not be amused by such brainpower! But there is only one problem; with so many of us claiming the crown there will not be enough of us to cheer from sidelines. I mean, when one wants to act like Einstein rejuvenated, there should be others to shout “In your wisdom, we believe!”
It’s a real problem preventing us from having real discussions. We just pass judgment at the spur of the moment. No looking all the sides, no fact checking; the gravel is down, and the verdict is final.
People are on edge; I heard of two fortyish friends who recently stopped talking to each other for the most bizarre of reasons. They were talking about the George Floyd protests oceans away. One of them argued it was none of our business. The other, so they said, goes ballistic. He says it was every bit
of our business as it was theirs. Things took a nasty turn and the friendship ended on the rocks. It so happened that both were in the habit off playing the Einstein card. How can sensible people go this far!
Several years back we knew this guy who claims to be well-connected to the powers that were. Now and then he comes up with bits of news he classifies as secretes of the highest order. One rainy day he says he had big news for us. We met over coffee and he dropped what he thought was a bombshell.
“The country is to adopt communism.”
“What do you mean?”
“There will be a decree on new year’s eve.”
“Where did you get that?”
“I just know it.”
We tried to reason with him as to why that seemed implausible. He was unimpressed. He just KNEW it! That is the trouble with most of us self-declared wonders; we just KNOW it!
Let’s be frank, there is so much fake news and so much negativity these days. Of course, the fake news is purely intentional. It is not that the sources were not aware of the facts.
Take for example history. We seem to have
more historians than half of the world combined. And there are so many different versions of historical narratives we could get much needed foreign currency selling spec scripts for Hollywood. One has to give the thumbs up for the creativity of many freelance historians who, not surprisingly, embedded in various political groups. There are many of us deserving expert status for trying to turn the clock back; the only thing is that both the long and short hands of the cloak are usually off mark.
I used to know a woman who has solutions for every problem. And she could have demanded copyright protection for the ‘facts’ behind the solutions. They were hers and hers only.
“Did she introduce you to her fiancée?”
“Yes, she did.”
“You’ve never seen him before; have you?
“No; but I’ll tell you she is in bad company.”
“How can you tell that?”
“I could read it in the eyes!”
“Read it in the eyes!” Really! So, what is a fellow so gifted doing in our midst! He could have gotten the royal treatment in other places where money could flow into
his books in the millions!
Sometimes you say even in the most terrible of behaviors there could be silver linings. There is this man someone told me about who is said to be always in high spirits an absolute expert at throwing, as they say, bright shiny objects. They say he always talks about the nicer things in life; about that paradise on earth world which is just around the world; about the country being one of the richest in only a few decades. And he talks about these as they are evidence backed facts. Nice as they sound and wonderful as dreams and wishes, they are misleading. If wishes were anything to go by we would have been in a very different state at present. But in the toughest of times we are in maybe a few words of encouragement, even if pulled out of thin air, are welcome.
I mean come on, with everyone claiming to be in possession of the silver bullet it is even tougher to try to make a little sense out of the senseless. Why are so many of us so closed in for the facts which keep on knocking on our doors! Opening the door all the way and letting in the facts is not about self-destruction. It’s about saving ourselves from the downhill slide of misinformation where the real self-destruction lies in weight.
The “As I say, so it will be,” baseless mindset is a recipe for the ultimate knockdown in life.
The Ethiopian Herald June 19, 2020
( BY Ephrem Endale )
