“What happened to you?”
“I beg your pardon!”
“You were a loyal supporter of … political party.”
Oh no, not again! You never were even a supporter let alone a ‘loyal’ one! ‘Fake news!’ someone across the ocean could have said. Sometime back there was this little discussion among a handful of us when the issue of loyalty came up. A tricky issue, isn’t it?
How can you know if someone is really ‘loyal’ as he claims to be? Well, playing the ‘loyalty’ card is something many seem to have mastered. It isn’t something about principles, it is about advantages. You are a civil servant. In the old days the main attraction of being a civil servant was not about the pay; that was chickenfeed. It was that your retirement is assured. Your main worry is not to get into trouble that jeopardizes your retirement benefits. Ironical, isn’t it? It as if the contract has been signed and sealed; ‘nature would not come calling for the final time before one begins collecting his retirement pay.”
that is a whole lot of optimism! So, should you be loyal to your boss or to the work you are assigned to? I mean a boss who demands loyalty form his staff will be a tough nut to crack. By loyalty he means that you have to treat him like some medieval hero who conquered half of one continent and a third of the other.
So how do you prove your loyalty to the boss? I’ll tell you how. “Sir, there is a something I wanted to tell you.” You have to be a timid as timid comes when delivering your info! He doesn’t have to ask you for the details; the highlights would be enough. “Sir, the administrative head has been disseminating rumors about you.” Your boss wouldn’t be asking, “What is he saying?” This is not a conversation; ‘You,’ the lowly clerk in conversation with ‘him’ the dragon slayer! No way. “Sir, he is telling people that you’ve an affair with you secretary.”
The boss’s forehead looks like a train of a thousand wheels has been racing across it. Oh what is wrong about that? The guy, sorry, ‘the boss’ didn’t mess with anybody else’s secretary! This one HIS secretary, her fate is firmly in his hands, and most importantly, she knows it! “Ok.” You’re waved out of the room. Come night, and a happy you will be out late. A few days later the administrative head, a guy who mostly keeps to himself and has a reputation of being a heavy puncher, is having his morning coffee at his desk when a letter is delivered. Aha; so finally the beefy salary increment he has been demanding has finally come.
Still sipping his coffee he starts reading the letter; he doesn’t go more than a couple of sentences when the hot coffee ends up all over his shirt and down around most unholy part of his body. What! A warning letter! For what? Many employees have complained that you insult and mistreat them, and also…This to remind you the organization won’t tolerate such abuse of power…”
He never insulted anyone! Yes, every time employees jump any red line he throws the organization’s rule book at them; that isn’t mistreatment! How could he know the trigger man wasn’t the boss but a ‘loyal’ staff member! And there is you girlfriend to whom you have remained loyal even after you started smelling aftershave on her. Any boyfriend worth his two grad pair of shoes should have been asking, “Now My Helen of Troy, my Venus de Milo, where did this aftershave come from?” “What aftershave are you talking about?”
“The aftershave that is all over your neck.” What a strategic place this neck is! Well, if it is really aftershave the alien chin couldn’t have rested any other place! If you think she would shrink back into her shell prepare to be surprised. “What’s wrong with you? Now, you can’t even tell perfume from aftershave! I’ve told you over and again drinking the local areke would be bad for you.”
(It’s about that ego thing. Her friends’ boyfriends drink those color-coded whiskeys three days a week and her Casanova drinks local areke! Not nice for that girls-only talk.) “Don’t change the subject. No one is talking about areke!” (This is one is about selfdefense. the only way he could prevent the torment was avoiding the subject. “What! Does your lady really know you drink local areke! Speaking of areke, they say business has never been any better.) “I’m not changing any subject. Oh; I get it. You have now started being jealous and every scent for you is the aftershave of another man.” (Man! Did anyone use that word?) Her answer comes as the perfect blow.
The military guys would have dubbed it as a preemptive strike. Before he goes into details difficult to refute she nukes him. He doesn’t have more to say. Jealous! Did she just say you’re jealous? You’ve remained loyal to her for four years and some and she accuses you of being jealous. Of course there is one thing here. You remained loyal not only because you have ‘Class A’ loyalty genes because, let’s face it, not many girls are interested in you.
Ha! Then there’s this loyalty to this political group or that. Well, that’s tricky. I mean, truth be told, around here loyalty isn’t about real political philosophies and policies, It isn’t about this ‘ism’ or that ‘ism!’ some of have managed to turn back time and tribal leanings seem to decide which side of the fence we want to be.
Even then most of us are so adept in jumping sides over and again loyalty is subjective. Look, mean must be difficult to be politically loyal where there is no definite political agenda! One thing is sure, be it in politics or our social life loyalty is a concept in short supply.
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Looking for a little bit of niceness
People used to be nice; nicer that they are these days. It didn’t take much to put someone’s name in the ‘nice’ category. The guy who paid for your beer six months ago is nice. After all, paying for four beers is not something every other guy does. Yes, there could be ‘motives’ other than a tender heart when someone settles your bill in some restaurant or pub.
Maybe there is no string attached and the guy was really nice person! I mean if the contours on your face keep multiplying after every bite it is not about the food; it’s about the bill. The guy saves you from using up your dwindling anti acid solution. Three cheers for him. Another guy might be thinking on a completely different wavelength when he settles your bill! It might not be because he wishes you a five hundred acre plot in Heaven. Sometimes it might be just that, sometimes not. Say, your cells are bitten by the VIP bug and you reward them with a sumptuous lunch in some sparkling restaurant.
“Waiter, would you please bring
me the bill…”
“It’s already paid sir.”
What is this, some kind of lunchtime happy hour! Any restaurant owner would be Good Samaritan enough to offer free lunch to someone he never laid eyes upon. “What do you mean it is already paid?” The waiter points in some direction; “The gentleman over there paid.” The story is that you don’t know ‘the gentleman over there!’ never seen him. “What is it in me that prompted him to pay a hundred eighty plus Birr! ‘The man over there’ smiles and waves. You wave back. Then reality hits, and hits real hard. It has to do with your work place responsibility. You are the head of the organizations bidding committee! Aha! The ‘man over there’ is softening you up and would come in for the kill when the TOR for the next big project goes out! This isn’t about tender hearts; it is about ‘business transaction!’ You help him get a twenty million Birr project and your old, rickety Volkswagen is sent to where it should have been years back, the scrapyards. Hmm… and it all begins with a ‘man over there’ settling your bill! Then, there is the guy who bought you a few shots of whisky just the other week. Now if the beer guy is nice you can’t put the whisky guy in the same league! Saying he is nice would be very ungrateful of you. He is an angel, that’s what he is.
Look, being nice or not is usually measured by the most trivial things. The real nice things seem be overlooked. The fellow who offered his seat on the bus is just another passenger who, maybe, was just tired of sitting. Maybe the hard surface of the bus seat didn’t harmonize with his bonny behind. Now what could be nicer than someone helping you rest you aching limbs! Look, one big problem about being nice is that these days not many appreciate it. Noble actions are given all the wrong interpretations. Someone goes to some charity and gives quite a considerable amount of money; money the charity desperately needed.
“What a wonderful guy he is!”
“You can say that again. He is the most humane person.” If people talk about someone that passionately he must really be a very good person indeed. In fact, he’s on the wrong side of the universe. The angels themselves must be demanding his presence! But that is not what you’ll be hearing.
“Do you think he is doing it because
he really wanted to help them?”
“Of course; what other reason could
he have?”
“You don’t know the guy. He is doing it just because he wanted to be seen on TV.” Unfortunately, those are things we hear with disturbing frequency. There seems to be some venomous bug within many of us that prevents us from seeing the better side if things. Otherwise why should we be looking for motives for every bit of action? We see people doing a lot of good things to help others.
They go out of their way and spend hundreds of thousands or even millions to alleviate the suffering of unlucky souls. Just in passing, before meetings were banned a couple of weeks back someone was telling me about a guy who fronts as master of ceremony in many meetings. He said the guy really knew how to charm people and many think of him as a ‘nice’ guy, especially people of power. His strategy was that he opens every gathering with that famous line…”What makes this meeting special is…” Ask me and I find it hard to think of any speech that starts with, “What makes this meeting special is…” as genuine. It is a roundabout application. “What makes this meeting special is that our honorable chair of the board of directors is amongst us.” The applause is thunderous. So thunderous even Leonid Messy would have felt envious. ‘What is wrong with those Barcelona fans? Why aren’t as enthusiastic.’ So, that is what makes the meeting special; the presence of big man. Well, there is nothing particularly wrong with honoring him.
The only thing is after the opening ceremony is over he is no longer there! He came only to bask in the minutes-long applause! Look the applause wasn’t for nothing. The understanding was that he would be listening to the staff’s demand for salary increment and bonuses.
And he leaves without listening to a single complaint! Yes, indeed, the meeting is special. I mean a meeting where the hundreds of participants who went in with straight faces come out with the darkest of frowns must be special! Look in this age being nice might not always bring about any dividends; still being nice is, what else, nice!
The Ethiopian Herald April 10/2020
BY – Ephrem Endale
