One Saturday afternoon Ezkiel gave his son Daniel a phone call and said: “Hey Danny, have you get anything particular to do today?” “No Dad, why do you ask?” Daniel replied. “I just want us to drive out of town to some motel and have a nice little chat.” “Sure, Dad, no problem, I’ll come over right away.” Ezkiel opened the main door to his house on the first knock and let Daniel in with a warm embrace. Ezkiel took his car out of the garage and the two of them drove out to the intended destination. At the motel over coffee Ezkiel said: “You have done me proud, Son! Your graduation from university with honors has meant everything to me!” “ Oh! Dad, it’s all because of you! After all, you are my hero, my role model!” Daniel said with a deep feeling of appreciation for his father. “Thanks, Son! I’ll tell you what, Danny. I’ll give you 50 million Birr to start your post-graduation life and get yourself a pretty wife and live happily ever after! “Oh! Dad! I don’t know how to thank you enough! You’ve already done so much for me, and now this! It is hard to believe!” Daniel said and stood up to give his father a hug, adding, “I love you, Dad!” “I love you, too! But I have no idea how to win your mother’s love back!” Ezkiel said, failing to avoid mention of his estranged wife. “I love my mother as much as I love you, but I haven’t got the slightest idea how my mother can stop loving a great human being like you!” “I can’t figure out where I failed,” said Ezkiel, lamentingly. Ezkiel did confirm the village rumour that there was another man of considerable resources trying to woo his wife, Rahel. Ezkiel’s long-time friend in Addis had once told him that he had seen Rahel with a certain man at the Gaslight in the Addis Sheraton Hotel while Ezkeil was in Washington D.C. to attend a conference. It is not easy to distinguish faces at the Gaslight in the evening but Ezkiel’s friend vowed that it was her, since he saw her at close range. Besides, Rahel’s attitude and behavior towards Ezkiel had changed significantly in recent months. Daniel was seriously concerned about his dad’s soured loved relationship with his mother. He tried to get to the bottom of the cause of this estrangement, which might well end in separation or divorce. Moreover, he did not want his own love affair with his sweetheart, Elizabeth, to end the same way, and if it did, there ought to be a rational and convincing reason for it, even if it turned out to be at his own expense. To this end, he decided to utilize the subject he studied in university, economics, to dissect and analyze this highly complex, romantic and erotic emotion called love. From this perspective, the most important single fact (which was pretty much confirmed) about the marital estrangement between his beloved parents was that the man who was trying to woo his mother away from his father was “of considerable resources.” The first question to be posed to himself was: Who was this man? The second query was: How much was “considerable resources?” The answer to the first question was found through Ezkiel’s long –time friend who saw Rahel with “another man”. His “considerable resources” were ascertained from the Inland Revenue Department. The man was indeed of “considerable resources” estimated at a net worth of about one billion Birr. That was a mountain of money compared to his own father’s net worth of about 200 million Birr before the 50 million Birr gift made to Daniel himself. Daniel determined that true love was derived from: mutual happiness obtained from physical attractiveness and sexual, intellectual and temperamental compatibility. He also concluded that the degree and intensity of happiness derived from these factors was positively correlated with the amount of net worth. What this meant was that even if the compatibility equilibrium and therefore the degree and intensity of happiness was at the same level for Rahel with this other man as it was with Ezkiel, the joint possession and use of a much higher net worth was an additional source of happiness, which could not possibly fail to elevate the totality of the happiness index. Daniel wrote these quite seminal ideas about love into a well- structured treatise with the title of: “The economics of romantic love,” and showed it to his former university advisor, who almost missed a lecture he was scheduled to give, reading the treatise. Hurriedly, he telephoned Daniel and just said: “You know something, you are a genius. I am almost twenty minutes late for my lecture, bye.” And he zoomed off. Several days later father and son met. Daniel spoke first. “Dad, as much as I love you both, I cannot but tell you that we must all face the hard facts of life. Dad, you should find another pretty wife to make you happy for the rest of your life. Mom does seem to have a rational romantic reason, supported by the economics of romantic love, to walk out on you. I am sorry, Dad, but that is the truth and we must simply face it together. Dad, rest assured, though, that I will always love you and mom because my love for you both is never a function of the economics of romantic love!” Ezkiel had suspected as much about Rahel’s estrangement. He said nothing. He just gave Daniel a warm hug and departed. Daniel called Elizabeth and asked if they could meet at the Gaslight in the Addis Sheraton Hotel at 8.00 pm. “Of course, darling, but what’s so special about tonight. Are you going to propose to me? “Well, honey, now that you have cruelly knocked the element of surprise out of it, I promise it won’t be that,” Daniel hesitantly ruled out the possibility and added, “ but what we are going to discuss could constitute some basic facts that may serve as a useful prelude to a proposition.” Daniel and Elizabeth met at the appointed time and venue. The Sheraton Gaslight was the place to be, suffused in heavenly dim light and vibrant with uplifting music, to which couples danced gracefully in dreamlike movements. But it was not ideal to have a quiet dinner in, so Elizabeth and Daniel adjourned to the restaurant and had a jumbo club sandwich for two before they returned to the night club. “I don’t know where to begin, and on second thought, the restaurant might be a better place for you and me to have a nice little huddle,” Daniel said, to which Elizabeth agreed without demur. Back in the restaurant again, Daniel continued the conversation: “Darling, I am obsessed with a little hypothesis I put together in a treatise I wrote recently, and it is essentially about the economics of romantic love.” “What on earth are you talking about, Danny? Surely, you didn’t drag me into a place like this to lecture me on love! Anyway, there’s no need to worry about any theory on love, because you and I are living it!” “You are absolutely right, darling, but there is no harm in knowing a little more about the intrinsic dynamics of love, Daniel replied and continued, “You and I are compatible on all the measures of compatibility, except the net worth criterion. I assume your current net worth is no more than 5 million Birr whereas mine has soared to over 50 million after my father made me a gift of 50 million Birr. Because of the age-old gender inequality in wealth, the number of men with net worth over 60 million Birr is larger than the number of women with net worth over 5 million Birr. This means the probability of your leaving me for another man is higher than me leaving you for another woman! That is what happened to my father!” “Oh! Danny, have you lost your marbles! What does net worth have to do with love?” “Liz, it is quite simple. Equal love compatibility indices are so significantly enhanced by a greater joint net worth that it does raise the decisive joint happiness index. That’s what makes all the difference and results in marital estrangement, separation and divorce!” “What are the odds of that happening to us?, Elizabeth asked, upon which Daniel suddenly got off his chair and knelt before Elizabeth, uttering the sweetest words on earth: Liz, will you marry me?”
The Ethiopian Herald April 5/2020
BY TEKLEBIRHAN GEBREMICHAEL
