A person you never exchanged even any significant greetings except the infrequent and rather mechanical wave of hands. You have absolutely no reason to exchange words with him and, let truth be told, you don’t like him for reasons even you couldn’t explain. Yes, it happens! There could be people who, for reasons you yourself aren’t aware of, don’t give you comfort. It works on the flip side. There would also be people who for nothing particular just don’t seem to like you! And one day, out of the blue, he says to you,
“What’s up?” The guy is asking you what’s up!
“What’s up…about what!” You have to ask! Or else the guy is going to get on your nerves with really private and even intimate questions. Believe me there are many such guys around these days!
“So what are you doing with your life?”
“I beg your pardon!” This couldn’t be happening. What makes him think he could dig so deep into your private affairs!
“What are you doing…”
“Wait a minute! I’m sorry if I sound blunt. But whatever I’m doing with my life is no one’s business.” yes diplomacy kicks in here. You’re not looking for any confrontation despite your anger; but still you’re wouldn’t directly tell him that a good-for-nothing person he was. There are those of us who need to be told just that! Of course, even though you choose your words not to directly offend people could be offended and you can do nothing about it. I mean even after sounding some well-spoken preacher or something the last thing on the guy’s face would be smile.
You might say what is wrong talking about things that aren’t so private and intimate like how you earn your daily bread. What could be wrong with saying “I work as an accountant in a private enterprise?” Everything is working. Believe me everything could be wrong. It’s all about the narratives that follow the initial info.
“He told me he worked as an accountant.”
“An accountant! Did you say an accountant?”
“Yes; you seem to be surprised.”
“I’m surprised! I always wondered how the fellow manage to live luxuriously. So he’s an accountant; doesn’t that solve the riddle!
“What riddle?”
“Can’t you see? As an accountant he probably holds the code for the safe.”
Things you might have thought to be insignificant could be turned into explosive agendas. Doesn’t it make you wonder why there are so many of us who are engaged in blowing up the most insignificant things into important talking points?
What would have been surprising is that had the guy taken what you said with a calm face or what appears like a smile. In the age of the social media there are many who wouldn’t mind to spill almost everything about the private lives and intimate details of people just because they made the mistake of telling someone things they probably shouldn’t have. So no wonder if there are those who think that everyone was in the same basket. It’s difficult to convince some that there are issues you don’t want to talk about, things you don’t want to do, places you don’t want to go to, people you don’t want to meet with so forth. Unfortunately your actions are misunderstood as you are trying to make yourself some sort of the ‘Chosen One’ or something like that. You drink a glass of wine just to make someone feel easy and that wouldn’t be the end of the story. It would be the beginning of a new one! Soon the wide spread gossip that you were a diehard alcoholic reaches you.
“What! Me an alcoholic! But that was the only glass of wine I had in years! And even that glass of wine was still three-quarter full when I set it aside!” Unfortunately, that seems how things work these days.
Here is one of those strange stories. This fellow finds himself in a group where he never met a couple of the people while the others were his friends. At a certain point in the discussions most of which didn’t interest him. Out of the blue one of the strangers turns to him and asks him what he thinks about the use of the ‘V’ pill. What! He was practically dealt an unexpected blow and he practically struggled to save himself from hitting the ground. It was something he never expected to be asked even in his wildest dreams that one day of hearing a fellow being asked about the V pill by a complete stranger.
While we are at it there was this guy who returns home from somewhere in Europe after a couple of decades. A few days after his touchdown in Addis, friends take him to a five-star hotel. As they were driving into the compound of the hotel he asks why they brought him to that place. His question, so they say, more than surprises them. They tell him they just wanted to invite him and have a good time. He grills them as to why they brought him to such a luxurious hotel. Shocked as they were their vocal chords refuse to serve them for several seconds. Where the hell were they supposed to take a guy who comes home after decades all the way from Europe? One starts telling him it was one of the best places in town and he cuts him in midsentence; “Did I ask you to bring me to such a place!” He tells them to turn around and take him to a more traditional place with the long wooden chairs. The guy wanted to relive his childhood memories of ‘home sweet home!’ and they were spoiling it for him. Just because the place looks nice and the well-heeled frequent that doesn’t mean you’d like to go to a particular place. Not because your wallet is too thin to provide you that ‘enjoyment,’ but because you just don’t want to go to such places. That should have been the end of the story.
It is astounding that some of us tend to forget that people have their own choices over multiple issues, choices that should be respected. Personal choices shouldn’t be for public consumption! How does that sound?
BY EPHREM ENDALE
THE ETHIOPIAN HERALD SUNDAY EDITION 9 FEBRUARY 2025
