There is an Amharic saying about aging and youth that we grew up listening to and believed in. It goes like this: “Almost everything can be recovered but childhood is impossible to retrieve from the past.” This is nostalgia at its best or a perfect Ethiopian version of Proust’s meditations on searching the past that cannot be reclaimed in full and eludes our memory. Proust’s meditations appeared in the 19—-classic novel entitled “In Remembrance of Things Past” or “A la Recherche du Temps Perdu” in its French title.
We perhaps assume that age or aging is topic that preoccupies the imagination of many generations and one of the phobias human beings have been suffering through the ages may be the fear of aging and death. This is a very tricky business in the sense that aging is usually catching up with people quite stealthily, and surprises many with its sudden and mysterious manifestations.
Aging quite often proceeds at a slow pace, and we usually wake up to its presence when age-related illness strikes or we look at our faces in the mirror and discover tiny traces of the dread old-age that grow exponentially and shock us for the speed with which they put their marks not only on our faces but also on our bodies in general. It seems that modern photography was invented to awaken us to the sudden shocks of aging by turning our attention to small changes that were hardly visible in the past when mirrors distorted our images and cameras tend to give us false reproductions of our bodies.
It appears that our perception of aging likewise changes with time and circumstances. Until very recently aging in Ethiopia was perceived as something to be happily embraced rather than dread. Members of the older generation were comfortable and even proud of aging with grace after spending their lives in relative stability, happiness if not ease.
The scientific definition of aging is however different from our subjection notions and misconceptions. “Aging is the sequential or progressive change in an organism that leads to an increased risk of debility, diseases and death.” Biologically speaking, aging is the time-related deterioration of the physiological functions necessary for survival and reproduction.” Biological aging is considered simpler to identify than mental aging.
“Some theories suggest that cells have a predetermined lifespan, while others claim it’s caused by error and damage. Other theories say that aging is due to genetic , evolution, or biochemical reactions.” Experts divide this rather critical stage in our lives into five sub-characteristics described as the stage of relative self-sufficiency, the stage of independence, dependence, crisis management and end of life.
The average national life expectancy was relatively lower for older adults, their lives were free from the stresses and strains of modern living and the thousands and one daily worries of life in difficult times as it is the case nowadays. Back then, a few people managed to live through their seventies and eighties while being forty was considered a lucky strike. There are many people who look at the age as sheer number and the aging process as a psychological rather than a physiological state. For these people, their age is determined by the way they look and think about themselves.
Think young and be young. This may be good for the ego while at the same time opening the way to different obsessions and malpractices. That is also why we have plenty of “old-young” ladies and gentlemen these days whose preference are largely shaped by their perceptions or misperceptions. That is also why we have males and females in the 60-70 age groups who spend time dreaming about romantic encounters with youngsters in their twenties and thirties.
These are of course the sugar daddies and sugar mammies who roam in the streets or hang out in bars and restaurants famous for their young clientele. What is wrong with thinking young and acting young or thinking old and acting old with dignity? At least it protects us the illusions of acting or behaving contrary to our ages.
On the positive side of the ledger, senior citizens enjoyed the respect and care they deserved and did not find themselves in the streets begging for dimes or a few crumbs of bread. In the older days, the community had traditional social safety nets that prevented the aged from going around begging. The closely knit social fabric that prevailed back then provided the opportunity for soft landing whenever old age knocks at the door and turned many from vigorous and able bodied members of society into dependent ones, with only their sticks or whisks as the only tools of self-consolation as it is the case nowadays.
Getting older nowadays is often regarded as a death certificate or a reprieved death sentence. The system of retirement from work is considered the short march towards death as many people consider they have nothing to accomplish after they hit fifty or fifty five. The speed of aging becomes faster as many of them tell themselves that it is now time to rest and enjoy a miserable old age before death comes to surprise them.
While in more affluent societies, people launch new projects when they turn eighty, here in Africa, citizens start to suffer neglect and ridicule as soon as they celebrate their fiftieth anniversaries. Poverty is course the greatest challenge that deprives many people the chance of enjoying a comfortable old age that is often accompanied with ill health and the struggle for survival under difficult conditions. Grey hair becomes a curse and our beautiful ladies go to any length to hide it under layers of fancy colors. For many of our respected ladies, grey strands are dreaded like a mark of shame or a clarion call to old age that is the eve of oblivion followed by death.
In traditional societies, old age was considered a kind of blessing in disguise for many reasons. Old age was respected as it considered the age of wisdom and maturity. However outlooks are changing on this issue. Nowadays, old age is suspected to be the cause of isolation, and age related shortcomings or the setting in of mental decline.
As a corollary of this, the younger generation is reluctant to listen to the counsel of its fathers and grandfathers who are considered irrelevant to the challenges of modern life. As a consequence of the this, the generation gap is becoming increasingly wider and the wisdom of the elderly is not given sufficient attention as the building block for the emergence of a society where the ideas the younger and older citizens are properly taken care of as important ingredients for building a more just, tolerant and harmonious society.
By the way, the generation gap is not only about difference in age. It is defined as, “The difference in thoughts, actions and tastes established by members of younger generations versus older ones.” This also includes a whole range of attitudes, lifestyles, hobbies as well as behaviors.
The social perceptions of aging in our societies vary from place to place and from time to time depending on the prevailing cultural and traditional outlooks. In the 1960s for instance, people who were in their forties were considered old and called “ababa” or ‘father’ in Amharic, when they were addressed by the younger folks.
No human being accepts old age with great pleasure. We all want to remain indefinitely young and without wrinkles, grey hairs or cricking bones. That is why we often indulge in expensive illusions as we try to hide our age that will be difficult to do as the years move on and the signs of old age become more visible.
As life expectations and qualities of life improved and people started to feel comfortable in their sixties and seventies, the perception of being old changed as well and people in their forties started to consider themselves “young” having all their lives before and not behind them. Nowadays, most people in our country start their lives in their forties. They marry, have children and establish families when they are within this age bracket and that is considered cool these days.
Cultural perceptions of aging generally vary from one society to the other. There are however common criteria for identifying aging from the cultural perspective. “Across all cultures, there was a consensus that aging comes with decrease in physical attractiveness, everyday tasks, and learning new things. At the same time, cultures agreed that aging comes with an increase in general knowledge, wisdom and respect.”
The cultural differences between various age groups are not however clear cut as many of us might believe. Societies are composed of people belonging to various age groups. The young, the middle aged and older people live together in a beautiful amalgam that gives society its real image. Ethiopia is not an exception. People in various age groups coexist within their respective cultures and traditions and if there is something common about their fate, it is the fact that they will one day leave their places to new generations.
This is also the beauty of human society. Imagine for a while a society untouched by aging or death. Would that be the ideal society? Such as suggestion might sound absurd or subject to debate. The most preferable alternative would be to live until ripe old age and aging gracefully without the encumbrances that often accompany the aging process. That was perhaps why our fathers and forefathers used to say, “Welcome aging if it comes alone!” that is to say without its encumbrances.
BY MULUGETA GUDETA
The Ethiopian Herald July 7/2024
