Ephrem Endale
Contributer
I’ll play the role of an interviewer even if for the fun of it. (Of course it’s fun! I mean follow most interviews and you find out that both sides are having a good time as a two-hour interviews ends without a single sentence of importance not being said!) . My guest is on that particular breed of humanity where everyone knows everything of which we have many. Since the interview is not being conducted I’ll give you some visual explanations. My interviewee is dressed to kill. I mean the guy maybe thought he was going to some reception in some five star hotel before realizing that he was about to talk to some journalist. Even then to put the journalist in his place before the interview even starts his dressing up would be OK.
To add some background info about the guy many find it difficult to put him in a certain spot. Was he a politician, an economist, a modern day Nostradamus or an all-round ‘commentator’ who never, ever utters the phrase, “Sorry I’m not well-informed about the issue? No way! He himself publicly admitting to not knowing something! No way.
Me:- Do you think you’re an honest man? “Oooops! I slipped in a way you want to see anyone sliding. Sometimes you talk like a politician, sometimes you talk like an economist, sometimes you even talk like a sort of prophet.
Him: – Oh yes! (He is beaning!) I enjoy sharing everything I know with others.
Me:- But some say you’re overdoing things. You’re all over the TV and radio stations. Do you think you are one of the most sought-after guys by the media?
Him: – Well they came to me; I don’t go to them!
Me:- Do you aspire holding political office?”
Him: – Well, it depends.
Me:- depends on what?
Him: – “If people want me to join politics I’d gladly do so. After all I’ve since long ago dedicated my life to helping the people.”
Me:- By the way please don’t take it like I’m snooping into your private matters. But that’s a beautiful cell phone you have.
Him:- Yes it is.
Me:- By the way, do you follow news and reports about the Ukraine world.
Him: – Almost every hour I surf the Internet and I can tell you few know as much as I do. In the first place I think many things happening as they’re telling us.
Me:- Sorry I don’t follow you. Are you saying there is no war and all that what we’re seeing is fake? I mean we’re seeing so much destruction and it’s had to say all that is playacting.
Him:- No I’m not saying there is no war. There is war. But the plan is to increase the price of wheat in the word. (OMG! oh My God. are ticker Carlson’s and Don Lemon’s positions still vacant?) And the weapons industry is going bankrupt and they need to increase boost their market. The only way they can do that is through starting wars. Do you get me now?
Me:- Well in a way I can say I do. But still those are very tough things to say. I understand the weapon merchants trying to boost their markets in conflict areas conflicts so that their weapons are sold without interruption. But don’t you think the wheat story is a little farfetched.
Him: – Haven’t you heard that the price of wheat has shot up by many folds?
Me:- Of course, I’ve heard a lot. But this narrative of trying to tie it with the starting of the war just doesn’t hit home. (What am I doing trying to argue a case as sensitive as this issue with such a guy! I wonder wherever he got the wheat a story.) By the way, since you’re an avid book fan (Political correctness!) will it be all right if I ask you bout books?
Him: – Please do.
Me:- Which ones are the best books currently in our country?
Him: – I beg your pardon; I don’t think I got your question right.
Me:- I was asking you to tell me the books you admire currently. Or to put in another way what would you say if someone came up to you and asked for advice which books to read.
Him: – I’d tell them forget about reading and maybe go to the movies. Did I say something bad! You look like you’ve just seen some scary monster.
Me:- In another words you’re telling them not to read books. Don’t you think that would surprise me?
Him: – No, you didn’t get me. I’m not saying don’t read books. I’m saying there are no books worth reading this time. And in the absence of such books I can’t propose anything.
Me:- But you can at least go a little back and propose older books.
Him:- Did you say older books? What older books? Perhaps you didn’t understand the whole thing I said. I’m saying there are absolutely no books to read in this country!
Me:- Really!
(Well I’ve to admit I’m playing a not-so-impressive cat-and-mouse thing here. I know the guy is not anywhere close to what he claims to be, or some innocent souls, having fallen to his public oral gymnastics, think him to be a book buff. Let alone being an avid book fan he himself couldn’t tell you the last time he read a complete book! Now I’m going for that KO punch to make the public believe all I’ve been asking so far was just the opening act and the most important question of the interview session.)
I want to ask you a somewhat personal question if it’s alright with you.
You can ask me any question you like.
Many people are saying you’re not as smart as you claim to be. Please don’t take this personally. I’m bringing to you what others say and I’ve even heard that people are phoning the TV and radio stations not to ever put you on air again. They say how you can talk about the other world when you’ve never gone to a single foreign country. They say how you can talk about book reading when your closest friends have never seen you with any book. In fact they are saying you’re an imposter, and…. (Oh my God! The guy is so angry, so worked up the next thing I know would be that big, studio mike zooming towards me; that would surely happen if I’m stupid enough to stay put in that warmed up chair which probably is getting tired of me. The breaking news in the café would be the seed with which I fled the studio and just jumped into the nearest minibus taxi without asking where it was headed to!
There’re so many weird sort of guys filling the airwaves these days you wonder where all the sensible ones have gone!
THE ETHIOPIAN HERALD SUNDAY EDITION 14 MAY 2023