Recently, one of the very few people I’m comfortable having tea with, asked me to accompany to some mall in town because he needed a new suit for some event. You know one of those events where one comes face to face with the brass of society. (A few years back I’d have written “with the cream of society;” not anymore!) We go to this bustling mall and sort to another. At some point he says; “Let’s see in this one.” Well the shop seems to be not different from we’ve already seen. Was I hopelessly wrong! It was different; the only young lady in the shop makes it different.
Why? Well, she is one of the most presentable human beings you could get anywhere else. (In the Amharic language we’ve this thing we call ‘Kine’; you know where you appear to say something when you’re actually saying another thing. (No, ‘satire doesn’t come anywhere close to describing it!) I’m not sure when the last time I laid my eyes upon a young lady so pretty was. In fact I’m not sure if I ever did! Well my friend drags me in for nothing.
Flashback; in the shops we entered earlier we were in for some shock. At one of them my friend sees some suit which he liked and asks “How much is this?”
“Thirteen thousand birr!”
For moments both of us weren’t sure we heard the right thing. It was like you’re listening to your favorite program on radio and suddenly some strange sound interferes in the background.
“Sorry,” my friend says. “I didn’t hear you.” Of course, that was not only a weak excuse; it was a lie! And you could see on the two young men tending the shop were having none of it. The smirk which they didn’t even tried to hide told volumes.
I was trying to do what almost every shopper was expected to do; bargain. “Look we’re here to actually buy. Can you tell us the real price?”
The shopkeeper was about to respond when my friend practically muscled me out of the shop. He was furious. The maximum he was ready to spend was six thousand birr and not a single cent more. Even that amount would bend quite big dents in his household budget. He murmured some expletives and we went to the next shop. The least price was ten thousand birr and that wasn’t even in many shops. Now we are here in a shop tended by the reincarnation of Cleopatra herself. You could see the hundred or so stars on my friend’s face. No; I’m not exaggerating! Well, nothing could have emanated such multicolored flashes except stars! What do you mean “what about you?”
What about me? How in the world could I tell you if the stars on my face were mere or less than his? Ha! In the earlier shops there was weren’t many opening niceties on our parts. We just hit the nail on the head; “How much does this cost?” But here was Cleopatra smiling like anyone has ever smiled at us. (He was Julius Caesar and I was hmm…Mark Anthony, of course! Just wondering, which one of them had the better of ‘things?”)
He was all teeth and it looked like he was trying to rival her smile. After a few ‘special niceties for a special person,’ we were down to business. We looked at the scores of suits and my friend finally gets what he was looking for. She didn’t wait for any question from us and just jumped in and told us that it was made in some European country and that it was durable. My friend needed no more cajoling he asked the price. She took a few seconds and more and said, “Since you’re nice guys I’ll deduct one thousand birr and you can take it for thirteen thousand.”
That ‘thirteen thousand’ nuke again! my friend staid mute for a minute or two and suddenly said to me “Wait for me here just a few minutes, I’ll return.” What! What the hell is he thinking about? In a few minutes he came back. And without saying anything he pulls stash of birr from his pocket, counts thirteen thousand and hands her. Then it hit me. He has a habit of keeping two or even more ATM cards in his pockets.
This is to say forget what the marketing people tell you and get it into your head that there is nothing as fresh beauty to sell all those expensive things. I’ve a question, was it a marketing strategy on the part of the owners to put such a pretty lady to look after the shop!
The Ethiopian Herald October 30/2022