I remember as a child there were this rich couple in our locality and they like giving presents. A few neighbors got presents. They’re nice people aren’t they? Well, maybe they are. Hmm what am I doing here! No, they are not. Just because they have the extra money- whatever that means- to throw away and throw ‘gifts’ our way doesn’t mean they have secured their place in heaven. It would have been good to think nice of people who you’ve seen doing nicer things. But this was one of those scenarios where you didn’t really get what you see. The couple owned quite spacious land in town with a few structures, and quite large empty spaces. And yet they never seem to have enough.
They used connections in high places to drive away people neighboring their property for no fault on the part of the victims. Many have wept much of their lives because of the devilish act of these couple which shattered lives and broke up families. Yes, they were that powerful! They did innumerable damage to the lives of the innocent unless the eleventh hour arrived.
Tough times came knocking when they had to answer for many things and their departure was neither nice nor memorable. No one ever found out where they ended up. The final word was that they have gone to their birthplace in the hinterland of the country and practically melted into the thin air. But the big message they left behind was that nice words and nicer smiles are just the very little parts of the whole story; or any story for that matter.
Nice words by themselves never meant anything, if we really think about it. Especially these days we are unfortunately in times when even some of the clergy whose vocabulary is filled with the most beautiful words on planet earth doing things even we ‘the normal’ creatures would scoff at. Look at international diplomacy; all those smiles, all those hugs, all those brotherly gestures. And no sooner have the guests boarded their plane home the real story begins.
Many an innocent beauty has seen her dreams shattered because the nice, God-loving, good-hearted dude she married was really nothing but a real dude! All his bad sides, all his evil thoughts have been successfully camouflaged during the courtship. Courtship was what it was before tying the knot, wasn’t it? (With things changing so fast we’ve to make sure don’t we?) Probably her entire extended family and ‘extended’ family of friends loved the dude.
“Have you seen him? He is so charming!” “I’ve never seen anyone who could smile 24/7 and manages to force the world to fall in love with him?” “He’s what you can call a dream husband.” Just wait a couple of months into the marriage and you’ll get the real meanings of those plastic smiles and empty. Sad that, nice words and sad smiles no more mean what they should.
While we are at it, I watch European football. If that’s a confession well what can I do; let it be one! And just as bonus info the team I’ve been supporting for decades is doing bad this season, Real Bad! What is the problem? Well some commentators say all of a sudden the team spirit is lacking. Aha; that’s talking sense, isn’t it! Team work- the magic term. No wonder that we lag behind in most things since team work isn’t the order of the day. Especially, no sporting activity.
You find yourself in a group where the storms start hitting hard and being the nice guys you try to steady the rocking boat. If it goes down every one goes under, including you too. Well most of the time you don’t feel that heroic. Instead of trying to steady the rocking boat the first thought that comes to mind it finding where the captain have stashed the life jacket. Ending up at the bottom of some sea is not one of the scenarios in which you want to bid farewell to the world.
But then this boat could not be steadied by individuals like you. It demands group work, and committed group work at that. I must have already told you committees are the last things I want to face. “The committee will be talking to you on Monday 9:30 in the morning. Now that should have prompted a big “Ah!” the first sign that your case is a lost case is the announcement that it has been to the committee.
I remember years back a wedding which almost didn’t happen because of the curse of ‘the committee. The groom selects a few of his friends to oversee preparations for the wedding day. He was acting against the advice of close relatives who said there were people within their clan who knew how to go about such things. After all, wedding festivities are not simple happy birthday events. He refused.
He was the type of guy everything of not his generation is backward. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it! He argued that the traditional preparations were too time consuming and chaotic and his friends would do it ‘the modern’ way. He picked them for the simple reason they were his closest friends! Well best friends could sometimes be best for making sure you’re carried up to your bed, curse to the limbs which give you away when you most need them. .
Well the wedding organizing group lasted less than a week. Not only did the group break up so did friendships too. It so happened that that curse of ‘generation ego’ made wild animals out of them. In fact the talks behind the scenes were that two group members actually treaded blows. It was a secret kept under wraps because it would have hurt their individual standings in the society. Finally the relatives with the experience took matters into their hands and everything went fine.
And you can just imagine all the nice words and nicer smiles did nothing to see the group of best friends carry out the duties they were given and keeping their personal interests and egos into temporary boxes. After all, life is a two way traffic where you take some and give some. Many times trouble comes when individuals and groups try to take the whole cake. It simply doesn’t work that way!
The Ethiopian Herald October 16/2022