Of Tweets, Numbers and Numbness

“Announced that on the Adeyabo front in Western #Tigray (Three sub-fronts), 9 infantry divisions (ENDF), 3,000 Amhara forces, 24 infantry divisions of Eritrea and 2 mechanized divisions of Eritrea have participated in their full capacity. These are (mostly) defeated by TDF.”

You’d have just ignored such tweets wouldn’t you? There was this story of numbers of casualties more than three decades back when the war was raging in the north of the country. The group which has been designated as terrorists by the Ethiopian parliament was daily announcing all the damage it has done to the Ethiopian forces. Then one popular stage personality did his own calculations adding up the numbers. And what happens? The result surpasses the overall population of the country! That’s when he threw a joke which later brought him a lot of harassment; He said something like, “They borrowed from the coming generations.”

Once the war was over and there was a change of guard at Arat Kilo Palace they practically went for him and he had to flee the country. He only returned to Ethiopia about three or so years back.

Now it is no wonder if that group or any other group floated such numbers. But the tweet above was by a European lady professor who is said to be of high repute! Yes, a professor!

One person was so frustrated he tweeted;

“How on earth have you been a member of such an internationally recognized educational institution with such disgusting lies? You tried to cover your lies by mentioning a source like thing. Are you really a data science professor? Shame on you!”

“Thank you for this accurate information. You forgot to mention that on the Welkait front, 27 ENDF divisions and 12 mechanized divisions as well as 150,000 ENDF and EDF soldiers have been captured as well as 230 drones and 15 Su-35 Stay tuned for more rumors err news.” Ha!

An angrier fellow tweets,

“Relentless white lies from uninvited white t&*@h! Do u get paid by the quantity or quality of your unimaginable LIES! Your fabrications and misinformation is making many mothers childless while u r spewing your venomous lies from the #1 racist country in Europe! AFRICA will rise!”

There were times when you threw any preposterous number into the public domain and got away with it. Of course, you might not be taken for your word; but at least you sure might confuse, and even in the worst of cases mislead, many. But times have changed, and changed beyond recognition. You know people could mock you so harshly you might need to rush to one of the holy water places! Hmm…

“TPLF’s hallucinating politburo have just declared, it has destroyed 116 Ethiopian & Eritrean regiments 116×10,000= 1,160,000. Then TDF head honcho Tadese Werede stated, ENDF has captured Sheraro. In Tigray, 1+1 is not 2. 1+1 is 0.”

Now there ways to add, and there are ways to add!

You know what really baffles me? Like many of you guys I, too, am not the sort of guy expecting to see deeds only the angels are capable of doing here on earth. I’m well aware this world is one big bag of lies of every kind. But then why don’t they try to sound authentic! Hey, you professional liars the amateurs are messing up your trade! Yes, it is none of my business. But seeing your numbers dwindling o the ‘professional’ side and multiplying the Amateur side your robbing us off our laughing moments tweeting something like good old Rashid Abdi’s recent tweet;

“Time to think the unthinkable.

*Declare no fly zone over Tigray

*Air drop food and medicine into Tigray

*Call for UNSC authorization to reroute aid meant for Tigray via Port Sudan

*Draw up list of new tougher economic and financial sanctions against Ethiopia and Eritrea”

Someone calls him to task with a short direct hit tweet;

“Isn’t TPLF winning? Why on earth would you need any one of this if TPLF is routing 100+ divisions of ENDF & EDF?”

The guy really craves to see this country on its knees, doesn’t he? There is nothing convincing in his tweets that he really is concerned about the people he claims to be concerned about! Maybe he’s a ‘nice’ guy! Come on, he was so ‘nice’ that months back he told us Addis would fall to rebel forces the next day. And what’s more he doesn’t seem to blink even faintly when tweeting such outrageous claims. His third point about rerouting aid through Port Sudan…it seems one hell of knocking someone’s door. Come on, this guy might be out of tweeting work any time soon and he should make ready cushions so that he wouldn’t be hurt when the fall finally comes!

Here some tweet a couple of days back by the spokesperson of the group;

“The Abiy Ahmed regime is sending more troops to Eritrea, plane/truckloads of them every day. Preposterous as it may sound, the Addis Regime could have nefarious plans against Eritrea itself, not just against Tigray. The move defies ordinary logic. #TigrayWillPrevail, though!”

If this tweet isn’t included as a candidate for “the most hilarious of tweets of the past few days of the Ethiopian new Year” than that’s when something is cooking up! The most imaginative sitcom script writer wouldn’t easily come up with such two-sentence punch line! Tell us how to vote and let’s flood the web retweet of this piece! Hilarious; that’s what this tweet is.

What is wrong with those guys anyway! One day they tweet about Ethiopian forces as hostages of their Eritrean counterparts and the next day what do they do? Accuse it of some nefarious plans. Does someone have Prozac or whatever that might do some service to such minds!

Trying to sow seeds of distrust in ways even the children of this age wouldn’t be unwise enough to try. Recent interviews of the top brass indicated that the strategy of fomenting ethic distrust has been taken up as one more strategy. I mean the guys should know that they aren’t speaking to people who have just emerged for the cave after half a century of seclusion. They are talking to the very people who have seen it all, experienced it all and lived through it all! In European football they have put in a new rule of fielding five substitutions in one game. Get off your %$* and do something about this tired, stale and rusting ‘political football’ game! Ha!

And a familiar name pops in this tome off the exercise bike; if the WHO boss thinks he’d get all the cheers for tweeting the following then he’d have some real thinking to do!

“We condemn attacks on civilians in Tigray. As long as the fighting continues, innocent lives will be at risk. Ayder Referral Hospital has been short on medicines, equipment & staff to treat patients for months. We urge Ethiopian & Eritrean govts to work for peace & end the siege.”

Sounds humane! Well that’s a where the story is; It sounds anything but humane! Reports of summary executions, rapes and blatant looting damaging of property have been reported from Kobo and other places and the gentleman was nowhere to condemn or say any damn thing! And now he gets off that bike of his and he spews unconfined reports while atrocities are being made in places still under the group the Ethiopia parliament designates as terrorists. Aren’t OTHER lives as important to him as the ones he claims to talk about? That’s exactly what he is asked in one tweet;

“Of course you condemn this attack but you are nowhere to be found when it happened in Amhara and Afar region. Non Tigrayan Ethiopian lives not worth of your time!”

Funny that every one of them droll about drones and alleged civilian deaths. The European Union was quoted as saying that it regretted “the two drone airstrikes that hit Mekelle” How could they have missed the following Ethiopian Press Agency report?

“The Terrorist TPLF killed 18 innocent civilians that have been sheltered in three shelter camps in Wag Hemra Zone of the Amhara State, according to the camp coordinators and eye witnesses.

One of the coordinators of the shelter camp Meregeta Tamrat told local media that forces of the criminal group have killed 18 innocent citizens including elders and children. The victims sheltered in three camps namely Tsagbiye, Abergele and Sekota.”

When they talk about Tigray they aren’t talking about Tigray;’ period! They’re talking about some land called which they have been trying to destroy for ages in a thousand and one ways and failed over and again.

Numb! Numb! Numb! That’s the feeling you get seeing so much arrogance, camouflaged hate of a proud nation and its proud people!

Ephrem Endale: Contributer

THE ETHIOPIAN HERALD SUNDAY EDITION 18 SEPTEMBER 2022

Recommended For You