Ephrem Endale Contributer
A few days back a couple of us once again sat with Diaspora guys (from the US) some of whom back after about three decades or so. Was there any difference than the usual such chat? Well, in a way yes, there was. For once they opened up about the lives they lead out there minus all those melodious adjectives. They were not boasting or trying to tell us if there was hell on earth it was the one we lived in. Unfortunately for quite a long time quite many used to tell us about their mostly fictional lifestyles and ‘felt sorry’ for us stuck in this corner of the world. This time the ones we chatted with were in fact trying to convince us to drop all those misconceptions we have about that place.
“You don’t know what working sixteen hours a day means. That is the only way you could survive out there.”
One told us he was able to come because friends got together and cover his round trip ticket. Had it not been the case, he didn’t know if he ever would have made the trip. “You mean you’ve been there for nearly thirty years and couldn’t buy a round-trip ticket yourself?” “I even wouldn’t have been able to buy a one-way ticket. That’s how difficult life is for many of us.”
Listening to them narrate how life was real tough with them and their better halves laboring sixteen and even more hours a day to put hot food on the dinner table, to send their children to school, to cover the mortgage payments, and settle all those outstanding loans for a hundred and one reasons. You couldn’t help is but feel sorry for the guys with those of us back home making it appear all of them were they’re having it nice and dandy over there. Don’t blame us! One problem for this was for long our brethren from out yonder never told us how they truly lived. The common ploy was to take a picture of oneself at the entrance of a very ‘modern’ and eye-catching apartment building or leaning on a latest model car with the message, “The apartment where I live, and the car.” And we back here concluded, “They sure must have money enough to throw our way!”
One thing led to another and we ended up talking about that remittance thing. Despite all the trouble they go through they made it their life’s calling to support their families, relatives and friends back home. This was where some of the sad stories came up. They have come to realize they have been fed mostly fictional stories of the hardships their families were in.
Here is one story they told us about a friend who stayed for a few days before the Christmas holidays and rushed back afraid they might give his work for someone else. His younger brother here is his early thirties. Of course he isn’t working. Not ‘unemployed,’ the way you’d think; but he wasn’t working because his brother sent him money every month. Having gone through college he was employable but never bothered to look for one. (Believe me there are many of his type.)
So he never talked about work. I mean back here, whatever job you hold you’ve to talk about work if only to curse the boss whom you say was messing up your life.
“And how is he doing that? I mean, how is he messing up your life?”
“The guy gives me a raise of only a thousand five hundred birr.
That’s ‘talking about work.’ But this guy I’m talking about is not in that world. So I was saying dear elder brother recently came back for the first time after more than two decades and some. We’ll this time he never stopped sending his kid brother money in addition to clothing, sneaker, electronic gadgets and what have you.
What he experienced when he goes to his kid brother’s apartment was not something he readied himself for. Shock was what awaited him. The apartment was nothing like the dwelling place of someone who was always complaining about living in conditions nothing less than that of a homeless person. (That was one ruse forcing big brother to send whatever he’s asked for fear that something might happen to ‘the kid back home.’!) Why was he shocked? I’ll tell you why.
The story he was being fed about life back here is so Biblically dark he always worried about the fate of his little brother. When it comes to diet he tells him that meat was so expensive he doesn’t get a bite for months. Also the price of all food items having skyrocketed he sounds like he was on a starvation diet. Added to this somehow he is always sick of one thing or another and needed money for expensive medical treatment, medicine and what have you.
Now many times big brother offered to travel back home and see how his little kid brother actually lived and refresh himself. But his brother resisted. “What! You want to come here? Are you crazy?” He tells Big Bro the city was so chaotic he can’t walk the streets safely even during the day time. Now nothing could be more shocking for the not well-informed. He paints such a bleak picture of things back here Big Bro believed every word.
By the way this is a story we hear repeatedly. Relatives and friends back home tell their brethren in the diaspora that this country was under siege 24/7 by all kinds of horrors one could imagine. By that they emphatically discourage them from ever setting their feet on the soil of the motherland. “Are you mad? We’re looking for ways to flee this country and you want to come!” And their brethren believe all they are told and the scare keeps them away. Now the fellow I was telling you about comes after so long to find out the life his brother was leading. “He has a 63 inch flat screen television in his living room!” Could you believe that! “His friends told me his sofa cost more than eighty thousand birr!” And all this time the phone calls and the messages of kid brother sounded as if he lived in some waiting room of hell. By the way there was another relative of theirs who also sent money to kid brother every month. Our diaspora colleagues told a number of such stories and they were visibly offended, because they found out that they, too, were duped one way or another by family and friends.
So during our chat we, of course, talked about, what else, politics. Here was one thing we weren’t on the same wavelength. Unfortunately some of them got all the information from all the wrong sources. I’m not talking about from the likes of the Nima Elbagirs and the Declan Walshs, those with clear agenda to see this country plunge into more chaos. I’m talking about the social media. Almost their entire info comes from some Facebook and YouTube sites. Well, on the surface there is nothing wrong with that. But those YouTube channels they watch were those which try to spin some ‘breaking news’ out of every bit of ‘information’. You know, the types who ‘discover’ conspiracy theories in almost everything said or done about this country; those who wouldn’t hesitate trying to carve out some political conspiracy about the untimely rain. I’m not kidding! Just look at the ‘conspiracy theories’ and ‘hidden political motives’ behind all and everything these sites try to tell you.
Speaking of YouTube channels the rush for the mighty dollar from the YouTube guys is so intense what you see is becoming more and more grotesque. Yes, all of us want and need money. The more we get the better life would be, so we think. Maybe! Even the guy who preaches that money was the source of all evil warning you to feel content with whatever little you have. Liar! What about you’re three story lavish houses and the multimillion birr car you drive? Why is it that you weren’t content with the ‘little you had?’ Or is what you have now the little you have? Are you telling us the “little you have” is subjective?
Anyways, I think some of the ‘Big Bro & little brother narratives would be altered once the ‘remittance’ goes back to ‘normal.’
The Ethiopian Herald January 23/2022