This happened in one of those condo blocks in town a couple of months back. A fellow we know never saw who lives on either side of the condo he rented. And he has been there for more than two years. But one fine night all hell broke loose. A woman’s painful wails came from one of the condos. “It was a real shock,” he says. Coming from a typical Addis village where everybody seems to know everybody he springs to his feet. He was about to make for the door when his furious wife pulls him back.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
He sits back without a word; but not for long. As the woman’s painful cries continued he again springs up and darts for the door. This time his wife didn’t try to stop him. He opens the door and peers out. Empty! There was absolutely no one! Not angle person have come out if only for the sake of curiosity. He then says curiosity struck; in a strange way too.
“Who am I to interfere while everyone is safely locked in their condos!” he steps back and locks the door. It’s a pity we’ve reached this stage. When some macho beats up his wife her cries for help going unanswered despite scores of people being in the surroundings is disturbing.
No, in the villages even though things are slowly going the wrong way the “Who am I to interfere!” mentality doesn’t go this far. Someone is bound to pound on the door and shout, “If you don’t stop now, we’ll call the police!” and many times than not ‘Mr. Punisher’ will stop. Not because he has returned to his sense but because he’s probably a coward picking on the defenseless. I read some place that. Like many places in the world, here too domestic abuse has increased because of the Covid 19 pandemic. The thinking seemed to have been that couples staying in their houses 24/7 will draws even closer than they have ever been. But that doesn’t seem to be the case in many cases.
In the older days the talk is that if hubby gives his wife ‘the black eye’ every once in a while it is a sign of love. (How it’d have been interesting to hear the ‘explanation’ for such thinking!) In fact it was even said some wives enjoy being knocked around because they take it hubby was ‘madly in love.”
Well, then was then and now is now. But what’s unfortunate is there are many ‘modern, enlightened’ guys replaying yesteryears’ abuses with impunity. Some three or so years back a well-educated back CEO in some prestigious organization beats up his wife in drunken rage. His wife too was a high level accountant of sorts. No one knew that wasn’t the first time. She had managed to keep things within their walls. But the final beating was so viscous she needed medical care. She decides to sue him and contacts a lawyer. But the hubby got wind of the story and you know what he did. He fled to the US where he spent his college years.
When society turns its back to the cries of the weak, it’s not a good sign. About this condo life, someone should workout something where the society comes to each other’s help when the need arises. As far as abusers think that society wouldn’t care less whatever they do to those in the households the damage continues; so do the cries for help!
The question is, “Who punishes ‘the punishers?’
The Ethiopian Herald June 6/2021