Ephrem Endale
Contributer
Say there is this guy who’s such a pervasive lyre he is the last person you want to talk to. Not that he is lacking in knowledge, money or anything like that. He’s just has trouble talking honest, true things! It should a Sisyphus-like attempt trying to convince him to mend his ways. But then you muster the courage and one day you decide to drop the bombshell;
“Look, the whole town is talking about you behind your back.”
“Why?”
“Why…er…why…”
“Why is talking about me?”
“Ok,” (take a deep breath) people don’t like the things you’re saying.”
“What things?”
“They say most of the
things you say are lies.” It is like the rock of Gibraltar has been removed
from your shoulders. Yes; the weight was so heavy nothing other than that rock
comes to mind. He is angry, very hungry. And all this time you thought no one
can display anger better then Robert de Nero does. (That guy rally knows how to
do it!) He should be angry. Everyone listens to him attentively, in fact many
times he’s showered with appreciation…and who do you think you’re to accuse
him of lying!
It’s a serious appointment. So serious that if it fails to happen it might affect your life in more ways than one. You’ve already made plans on what to do with the couple of hundred grand you’ll net. Then there is the partner with a very small part but the PowerPoint presentation is loaded on his laptop. He has ways with these technical things. What happens? The guy is half an hour late. The project on which you have spent months of sleepless nights has slipped form your hand just because some guy doesn’t understand what responsibility means. You tried his cellphone and some mechanical voice tells you he isn’t available! What’s more frustrating is he acts as if nothing happened.
“So, how is everything?” he says offering his hand for a handshake! He asks you how things are! It’s business as usual for him! How inconsiderate could people be! You don’t know what to do next; take his stretched hand or break it like some matchstick.
“How can you do this to me?”
He gives you that puzzled look as if to say; ‘Now he isn’t high on drugs or something at this time of the day.’
“They told us clearly that we shouldn’t be a single minute late from 9:00 A.M! Have you seen what time it is?”
“What’s the big deal? I’m only a half hour late.”
‘Only!’ Did he just use the word ‘Only?’ Yes, he did. Just to keep your sanity you say no more.
“Sorry, I got up late.”
“I’m sorry too for having you as a project partner.”
“What could I do? Rising up late is a habit of mine.”
Oh, Lord, you can’t do this to me. Why didn’t you tell me I had a complete moron for a partner?
Being late a habit! Tell him to go and have someone read your palms or something. Maybe the secret is buried there.
“What is wrong with that uncle of you?”
“What did he do to you?”
“He beats up his wife every night! Every night! Can’t you relatives of him do something about him?”
“I don’t think we can.”
“That’s not the answer I expected from you.”
“Do you think we never tried? What we do about it! It is his habit?”
“Habit! What has this anything to do with habit?”
“Beating his wife is his habit!”
Come again! (By the way years back I heard something very similar to this. The entire clan failed to pump sense into the fifty-something wife beater. Finally some relatives of her beat him up so badly he was a complete wreck for months. No one was ever charged as they left the country taking the wife with them.)
How can beating your wife, or anybody for that matter, be a ‘habit?’ How can this world allow such crimes go unchecked because it’s a ‘habit’ of the guy? I can tell you in our society we’ve more than our share of wife beaters. The only thing is being as secretive as secretive can be we don’t wash our dirty linen in public. That’s how such things are seen; dirty linens that should never leave the walls of our homes.
There is some scream in the middle of the night! It’s such painful scream you’d think the blood of anyone a five-mile radius would just freeze! No, that wouldn’t habit.
“Ato so and so is beating his wife, once again.”
The catchword is ‘again.’ He’s expected to beat his wife because it is a ‘habit’ of him! Believe me there are real stories than best Hollywood screenwriters wouldn’t think of if they happen to live an entire millennium.
Sadly, I have heard people defending the sexual proximity of certain husbands and fathers not as problem needing professional help but as a habit! In one such story family elders gather to advice the husband to d let go of this habit of him. What was finally agreed upon was so bizarre you’d think all those taking part were escapees from some mental institution! Since it was ‘a habit he couldn’t control it was agreed he can sleep around two days a week; and the wife agreed! Can you think of a more bizarre story?
The fun is that if it is your habit everyone sympathizes with you. No one thinks of advising you to get professional help.
“Every two or three days he drinks a dozen bottles of beer.”
Why aren’t his family and relatives convince him to slow down?”
“But they can’t.”
“What does that mean?”
“It’s a habit of him and they can do nothing about it!” Isn’t that some breaking science news!
The guy is heading for the rocks and no one is trying to stop him before he flies over the edge. . Why? Because it’s ‘a habit and you can do nothing about it!’ That’s why. They say small leaks sink the ship. Because of our inaction and complete indifference when we notice the first leaks many have gone off the rails ending up in places where nobody in their right mind would want to be.
In the old days it was easier. We tried to convince our friends to quit smoking and many times we succeeded. The world was not so messy then. (that’s not a political statement! Ha!) Even the guys who used to puff an entire pack a day quit! No one told you they could do nothing about it because it’s a habit.
If you ask me if I have any worries when it comes to such things I’d say “Of course I do!” there are a lot of things around our young which should worry any well-meaning citizen. It is the generation which is supposed to take the reins of this country we’re talking about.
I think we should cast away the notion that there’s nothing to do when it comes to convincing people to break away from some damaging habit and get into the game because there is everything we can do.
The Ethiopian Herald 4 April 2021