Ephrem Endale
Contributer
We’re in the age of the condos There’s the village’s ‘famous’ drunkard who could have made a memorable character for some “How to Get Away with Murder’ sort of series. The guy is a real work of nature being the most innocent guy when sober and a loud-mouthed bum when drunk. But no one holds any grudges against him. He is one of them! That’s the fun thing about our traditional villages. However nasty your behavior you’re still ‘one of them!’ When the village falls too quite for comfort he’s the one who provides some ‘action,’ of course, after a couple of bottles of tej! No wonder if people relocated to condos feel nostalgic about their former villages.
Then there’s the guy with the master key for everything under the sun. Raise any issue, and he’ll have an answer, a final one too. No one even thinks of pushing him into some corner with questions like, “Where did you get the information that human beings have been spotted on Mars?” “Who told you the third world war is about to start?” You don’t do that to the ‘brain of the village!’ The guy is the happiest most confident soul around. Of course, he can’t remember the last time he read a whole book, if anyone gathers the courage to press him to.
What about the lady who could spin ‘breaking news’ out of any happening in the village! She could tell you the color of any villager’s bed sheets. She could be that intimate. If she is still around someone should tell her she could make herself a YouTube sensation; and here is the meat to tempt her…it’d pay her a fortune. It is one of the wonders of this age that you can make money in a month your entire clan couldn’t make in a year; and for nothing!
How about the young guy who knocks on the sot trivial excuses? You’ve always been suspicious of that guy. He knocks and when you open says “I just came to say hello.” It’d usually be for the third time that day he came ‘just to say hello!’ and the village is buzzing, “He’s spying on us!”
And there is the village bully who’s always either knocking someone’s teeth out or getting some innocent teenager pregnant. Of course, he’s also the village’s protector! Isn’t that some real story! If some outsider messes a villager you only have to say the word; ‘the punisher’ will do the rest.
You know borrowing a cup of salt or sugar over the fence. That was real social life. Neighbors calling each other for coffee ceremony; Poor us, we used to deride one of the most important traditional institutions as a gathering of backbiters; and look how mainstream backbiting and gossip has become. Gossip wasn’t the only thing in play, like much of the social media seems to be these days. Serious matters concerning their neighborhoods were raised. Gossip wasn’t ‘institutionalized’ like it is now!
Not that your village is some Beverly Hills throwback or something. But like the paparazzi’s and the investigative guys snoop around the rich and famous to dig some dirt on them, you don’t need paparazzi in the village. What you think is your secret quickly become public knowledge. Now, what the hell are you doing in that middle-aged banker’s house when he’s away and never when he’s in? Caught you, didn’t I! Of course, you’re doing it ‘secretly,’ or that’s what you think. You take the back roads and jump into the guy’s house through the restroom windows thinking you are a James Bond in the making. You’re not! What you thought was the quietest (and safest!) part of the village is anything but that. The maid in the house across the road has been peering through the window curtains! She has told it to someone and that someone has told it to someone else! Half the village knows your secret! What about the banker? Well, he is with the other half that has not yet caught wind of your ‘secret.’ But that is one of those adventures that makes village life interesting; of course, until you’re the banker catches you red-handed, and leaves you a few red spots across your chin and your cheekbones. He really makes some of work of you! But, that goes with the territory. You have been living it up for more than a year in the most ‘intimate’ part of his house, your ‘host’ being a very accommodating soul.
The condos are a completely different story. In the villages almost everyone knows about a family of nine living eight nine hundred meters away. In the condos you wouldn’t even see what the guy who shares a wall with you for a year and a half or two years. In fact you even found out he was ‘a guy’ much later; his style of dressing being a ‘mystery in clothes’ sort of thing. With condos you don’t know who the people sharing the same wall with you for a year and a half. And you’re supposed to be neighbors. No you are not. You’re only people who live close to each other. No sin in being nostalgic of those old traditional villages
“What’ll people say?”
“What’ll people say
You are at a wedding ceremony dressed casually, but not too casual. Didn’t someone tell you that you’re expected to wear a tie at such ceremonies? Forget who made the ‘rules,’ if they are indeed called rules. But rule or no rule wearing ties makes you comfortable. It is not that you’ve a anything against the groom. Of course you can’t help feeling a little jealous because the beautiful ones are born for the other guys and not you! And they try to tell you how life is unfair, while your are the one living example!
“What’s that?’
“What’s what?”
“You aren’t wearing a tie!”
“Yes I am not. I don’t like ties.”
“But this is a wedding ceremony and almost every male is wearing one.”
“I don’t care if half the entire town is wearing ties. They don’t make me comfortable!”
The problem is it is not about what makes you comfortable or not. It’s about what you’re supposed, or expected, to do. Not that you’ve anything grudge against ties; You know, that funny idea that creeps into your mind when the tie feels a little tighter around the neck. Ha!
But since almost everyone is wearing one you are supposed to fall in line. But you don’t feel comfortable falling in such lines! Believe me, in such instances it could be challenging to hold your ground in such scenarios.
I had this friend who, when in restaurants ate anything the way he feels fit; the steak is there practically tempting him “Just try to send your hand in this direction and you couldn’t even imagine what will be coming your way!” So my friend proves who the boss is by snatching the steak with his hand and throwing into the grinding mill! For him meal time is no time to fool with knives and forks. More than once friends have said to him, “You shouldn’t eat like that! Use the knife and fork. People are watching!”
This friend of mine wouldn’t care if half of Africa is watching. Those close to him took it not as if he was exercising his right to eat food however he likes, but as he if he was on the lower rungs of the ‘civilization’ ladder! He’s not like those pseudo-modern guys who use forks and knives for injera and wot. Theirs is about showmanship, about their desire to be noticed!
Believe me, the fear as to “What will people say?” takes way off our path compromising our beliefs just to put the smiles on other people’s faces; sort of ‘conform, or you’ll be thrown out into no man’s land of social life.
Four of you are sitting around in some recreation spot. The others order beer. But you’re not in in the mood. There is so much in your mind putting the strain on your every cell you wouldn’t want to worsen things by drinking alcohol. You’ll have your way next weekend.
“I’ll have tea.”
“What!” it is like the three of them said it together as if there had been some rehearsal.
“Tea; and no sugar.”
Your friends are not impressed by your firmness. You just don’t fit on the same chessboard.
“But everyone is drinking beer! What’ll people say?”
Why should they say anything because you chose tea over beer! But that is the way of the world;
You’re in a meeting. The boss is called to the stage. The hall practically shakes with thunderous applause. Almost everyone does it, except you. The man who was being applauded deserved anything but applause! He’s Lucifer’s chief-of-staff. They should have locked him up somewhere and, as they say, thrown away the key. Everyone in the office wished even prayed for his removal. Now they almost peel the skin off their palms off applauding him! “God, what wrong have we done to deserve him!” You’re not going to do disservice to your palms. The lady by your side nudges.
“Why are you not clapping?”
“Why should I?”
“Because, everyone is doing it! What’ll people say if they see you?”
For the fear of “What’ll pole say?” Many people are forced to wade into waters they‘d have preferred to stay away from.
The office gets a new boss. From the first day he settles into the chair there is much excitement in the corridors. Not fond of the outgoing iron-fist boss, the hope is the new one would be a most considerate character right out of a holy book. Some colleague approaches you;
“You know, the new boss isn’t happy about you.”
“Why? What did I do wrong?”
“You never went to his office.”
“Why should I do that?”
“Because everyone is doing it. What’ll people say when they find out you hasn’t welcomed him! Go and tell him you are happy he is appointed.”
Never! You never even knew the guy existed on this earth and they expect you to be happy for him!
These days you find people trying to talk you into supporting this or that political group.
“I’m not interested.”
“You should be! Everybody is in politics these days. Tell you what, you should give your support for…. . Those guys are the best.”
You never heard those ‘best guys’ tabling their policies on the various issues and he advices you to support them! You are not even sure if they have anything on paper!
“You know many of our friends are supporting them. It wouldn’t look good on you when you’re left out.” Is that so! I personally don’t see any logic or whatever why should sacrifice their beliefs, as long as those beliefs don’t affect others, for fear of “What will people say?”
Funny, it is your life and others try to call the shots!
The Ethiopian Herald 21 March 2021
