‘The demon’ is in the detail
One of those moments one seeks the advice of a best friend. It happened several months back. The gentleman was having some marital problems; or so he claims. What many believed to be a textbook marriage many crave for but few enjoy. The best friend was also the best man at the wedding and a close confidant of the couple.
Of course it certainly wasn’t a marriage made in Heaven. There were the inevitable bumps and stumbles along the way. However, the occasional marital hiccups they had never stole their smiles. So that particular marriage slipping into unchartered waters was the last thing the friend expected.
“So, what’s troubling you?”
“Well, I have heard bad stories about my wife?”
Wait a minute! Heard stories about his wife! A man who never talked about his private life with others – and that is a big NEVER- talking of rumours about his own family! The friend kept his cool with effort and just waited for the man to continue. Asking what ‘those people’ said was something he couldn’t bring himself to say.
“I think she’s having an affair.”
Oh, no! OH, NO! This couldn’t be happening. The friend was shaken to his marrow.
“Sorry, what did you just say?”
Not that the words eluded the first time around; it was rather his way of refusing to acknowledge what he heard.
“My wife’s having an affair. She’s seeing another man.”
This was too much to take. “What’s wrong with you? How could you say such things about your wife?”
Infidelity! Did he just accuse his wife of infidelity?
The man takes offense. He believed whatever he was told! It was not a question of ‘true’ or ‘false.’ It was a fact. There is an unfaithful woman under his roof; Case closed! The best friend stands his ground and refuses to get involved. The man turns his back on him for good; a childhood to adult hood friendship was no more.
The man turns to others for advice; this time the verdict was close to unanimous. “Leave her.” He confronts his wife accusing her of infidelity.’ “I’m filing for a divorce. They say the initial shock of the lady defied explanation. But, it was short-lived. If he expected a hopelessly hysteric woman flying all over the walls, that didn’t happen. Once she regained her composure her calm response left no room for misunderstanding; “As you wish.” Well, the man took those words as an admission to guilt!
Word soon got out and her relatives, their pride wounded by the hubby’s actions cried for blood. But, she warned everyone “No interference!” A couple of days later she goes to stay with one of her sisters. The ‘breaking news’ was yet to come. She said she didn’t want a single cent from him. Hers was confidence set in granite. No fifty/ fifty split of money and material: No parade of lawyers; No gatherings of the elderly; she says “Just bring the papers and let’s get it over with.” Rumours had it that her husband must have cast some spell on her. No woman in her right mind would abandon all she has been working for with a brush wave of the hand.
“Aha!” was his reaction. “I told you she was with another man.”
A full week and a couple of days later the hatchet finally fell on the guy; and what a big bang it was. FALSE! The infidelity story never happened! It was a carefully planned, deliberate act to make life difficult for the guy. They say he even found out the identity of the perpetrators.
His first move was to reach out to that once best friend, so they say, was unnaturally blunt; “No. I don’t want him in my life again” The man then gathers a couple of people relatively close to him and his estranged wife and goes to where she was staying. They were turned back with, “Come again and we’ll report you to the police.” Though several months have passed since the incident he refuses to give up, and she refuses to give in.
Marriages are being annulled, friendships are being torn apart, relationships blown to pieces because of deliberate acts of fake, cooked-up stories. The tidal waves, which assume many forms, are invading families and our intact and time-tested social fabrics are being disfigured beyond recognition. The larger picture is even more worrisome. Many things are happening in this country because of false stories meant to destroy. Unfortunately, some media outlets are playing second fiddle to those whose main and only aim is to build walls between people who lived together for millennia.
So, from the hubby not smart enough to ask his whys and hows, to the politicians who elevate stupidity to levels unheard of before, deliberately planted misinformation and disinformation threaten to take the wind out of our sails.
The easiest thing is to tell some man, “Why don’t you just break your relationship! That’s the only way out.” Our hubby should have asked, “Why should I rush to conclusion?” Yes why? Why should he go to the end of the line without having the facts first? After all, the devil’s kin, ‘the demon’ is in the details.
The Ethiopian herald January 31/2020
Ephrem Endale
