Small talk

In ‘the good old days,’ small talk meant just that, small talk; the little and ‘harmless’ things in life that didn’t put you on either side of some fence. Sadly enough, things are all about fences these days, aren’t they? That, “You are with us, or you’re against us,” madness. Decide to remain on the center of the fence and you’ll be the perfect object for target practice by all sides. Hey, to those whose politics is messing with the nuts and bolts of their thinking machinery, swallow the pill however bitter; the silent majority is on neither side of the fence!

So coming back our small talk chat, in the good old days, you can say, “Time is really running fast, isn’t it?” and no one tries to create some sort of a crossword puzzle out of it. You can say, “There is nothing I hate like rain,” and no one would try to stir ‘political soup’ out of it. Even when politics seeps through the cracks into our small talk, words are taken at face value with no need to dig for ‘hidden’ meanings. That was then; now the rules have changed.

Incidentally, nowadays what amounts to small talk could be all about demonizing the other side.

“I hate that guy.”

“What did he do to you? As far as I tell, he is a nice guy.” “Nice! That’s what you think. Pull down his pants far enough and you’ll get a tail ten meters long.”

“Come on, you don’t even know him that intimately!”

“I don’t have to; all of them are the same.”

You see, even the few things that come a little close to small talk are politicized. If, these days, anyone raises the “all of the theme,” card it is about politics. After all, we’ve a hundred thirty plus political parties and are still counting. By the way, these days using the phrase ‘good old days’ might not win you many friends. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say it has become one of those situations where you’ll end up walking on pins and needles.

Come on, every generation has its ‘good old days!’ Even during the nicest of times, there will be nostalgic nicer days of yesteryears. It is sad when a soothing phrase like ‘good old days,’ is politicized by default. It is no more about the twenty-five birr kitfo, nor is it about the basketful of grocery you get for fifty Birr. It isn’t about the amorous afternoon where a hundred birr in the pocket lifts you to VIP status. It’s about politics where kitfo gets a hundred more meanings ninety-nine of which have of nothing to do with meat! It’s a pity that we have lost the ability to make innocent, no-strings-attached small talk.

Speaking of small talk I’m one of those terribly uninteresting guys who could never be the life of any party. Not an active participant of conversations, I get my share of frowns and side glances. How can someone who writes for his daily bread be that mute! It is an almost “Aha! Oho!” thing. “He’s quite for a reason. The miserable guy is spying on us!”

And, I like this part! People think those of us in the media know a lot more than the man in the street. They think in times of much confusion’ like we are in now, the key to all the facts is in the hands of the media guys. Sorry if this comes as a disappointment, but things aren’t what you think they are. For all I know, the media people could sometimes be more confused than the average man. So just because some in the media have a hard time taming their overworked vocal cords in front of mikes and cameras, it doesn’t mean they are bursting with fresh and up-to-date information. The goldmine of current affairs people expect isn’t just there.

Speaking of the media, once, a colleague was introducing me to this well-heeled lady who, with all those curves, should have been on the catwalks of New York and Paris. He says,

“He’s a journalist.” Now, if the curves have forced me into a second and third look, her shock was a different story.

“What! Oh My God!”

And it wasn’t the Facebook OMG! She probably wondered what sin I’ve committed to being thrown into this hell on earth!

Talking of current affairs, what’s it with these Diaspora guys that prevent them from seeing things as they are. I mean, they come filled to the brim with their own ‘data’ most of which is blown out of proportion and still refuses to be updated with the latest social media-free information.

“Yes, we’re in dire straits. Yes, we are worried about the future. But painting the country like it was one of Lucifer’s pitch black warehouses is not fair. Things aren’t as bad as you make them out to be!”

By the way, even with these supposedly polished and manicured diaspora guys, small talk has become a thing of the past. Everybody wants to talk about politics and nothing else. The political analysis some give you is so apocalyptic it is completely below your radar. You just couldn’t understand what in the world they were saying, and how the human brain could be so complicated.

I think we need to bring back the politics-free small talk as our smiling nerves are being so acutely underused. Once they lose their softness oiling them will not be a walk in the park.

The Ethiopian Herald Friday 17 January 2020