Another holiday approaching and time for the first shots of household skirmishes;
“I need one thousand Birr.”
“What do you need one thousand Birr for?”
“For chicken, butter, onions…”
“Wait, wait! You are asking me one thousand birr for those things!”
“Yes!” her voice increases by a lot of decibels. “Is that too much for you?”
“A thousand Birr! The maximum I can give you is four hundred Birr!”
“What! Four hundred Birr!” You never thought the human voice could be so loud, not even in your wildest dreams!
“That’s all I can afford.”
Ok, let’s give the guy a break. After all, there is the eve, and the boys expect him to cover a few rounds at the watering holes! When he says that’s all he can afford he is saying first things first. Unfortunately, his wife’s holiday monetary needs are not in the top half of the list. And, just between you and me, ‘the other lady’ in the Piazza bar expects something!
The shouts continue coming. No need to worry about the neighbors listening; another battle is raging over there, too. Look, it might sound a little nutty, but those shouting matches are sometimes taken as prelude to the celebrations! They go, as they say, with the territory. On the actual holiday, by what seems some divine intervention, it’ll be smiles all round. After all, the shouting matches weren’t the D-day of the marriage.
In a couple of days it’ll be Ethiopian Christmas. When it comes to Christmas, there are some factors the arguments about which seem to be all, but dead. No one is raising them loud enough. When almost everyone has joined the ride what’s there to argue about! Take the Christmas tree. I mean, I for one can’t tell you what the hell a Christmas tree is making in the Ethiopian living room! I, too, can’t explain to you why a small Christmas tree is winking at me from a corner of my own living room.
Ha! That’s how things work around here. You shout your throat sore about something, but you, too are the prosecuting attorney and the defendant at the same time. As to my own ‘tree’ the flashing lights add some ambiance of a rather drab living room; as if that’s reason enough! But if a relative from the countryside asks me, “What’s that ‘thing’ doing here?” He will not be a very happy relative. It is for me one should feel sorry;
“I suspect he’s into witchcraft or something. He has a flashing tree in his house!”
“A tree! And, a flashing one, too!”
“Yes that’s what I saw with my own eyes. We should consult with the family and take him to some monastery. He needs to drink Holy Water for thirty days.
“Oh, God, please have mercy on us: what sin did we commit to deserve this?”
Sometimes, you can’t help feeling creepy. Once, I saw a big white Christmas tree in someone’s house. What were the guys thinking about anyway! Never made the return visit to see which season it snows in that house!
All there’s the Santa guy: I can understand his presence in the shopping centers and the like as he is there for promotional purposes. It is about the money! But he is present in most of our houses. You shout at the top of your voice, “Are people that crazy! How can people put Christmas trees in their living rooms!” Before long one fine afternoon you find it in your own living room.
Take the Christmas gifts. Now, the fact is gifts weren’t part of our Christmas celebrations. You go to someone’s house not carrying Christmas gifts but your empty midsection. But gifts! It’s nice that we hear of young ladies bagging flashy cars as Christmas gifts. Good for them; no wonder if they end up as Santa’s cheerleaders. Long live Santa! Some of us are already feeling nostalgic for those traditional experiences of holidays. If a holiday doesn’t have those purely traditional touches then it is no different than another night out on the town and a next day in bed.
By the way in the old days a woman’s culinary excellence was measured by how well she prepares one and one thing only, the traditional Doro Wot. We really have to give credit to our women since they make our holidays such difficult experiences.
Then there are those traditional brews the tella and tej. Of course, they say preparation of tella and tej have gone down significantly for a hundred and one reasons. But if you want my opinion, with the prices of beer and other alcoholic drinks expected to go through the roof the comeback of those traditional brews will not be far off.
Anyways, a Merry Ethiopian Christmas!
Of Santa, and the Doro Wot I prefer the latter.
Ethiopian Herald Friday 3 January 2020
Ephrem Endale
Contributer
