In recent days anyone browsing the social media in search of info about what is going on all over the place would not come out smiling. If they do come out with beaming face they either have no idea of what is actually happening or are too uninterested to try to get to the crux of the issues and missed the real issues by miles. A couple of issues which dominated the social media came as litmus tests on how we respond to issues about which we have little or no info, issues to which we respond not with reason but sheer emotions; emotions partially never solved problems, rather made things worse.
Talking to a couple of youngsters about a recent issue which left the social media ablaze made me realize that things are even more worrying than I, and perhaps many others, would have thought them to be. Not that I entertained any illusions about responsible and (I don’t feel comfortable using this term!) ‘civilized’ social media use. But the extent to which the minds of significant portions of the young have been taken by emotions is worrying to put it in lighter term. They have already made their decisions without having fairly enough let alone all the facts. They seem to have cast-in-stone conclusions to everything.
Of course there is also the question of trying to make big all-inclusive issues from trivial everyday matters as if we don’t have more important issues to talk about. Now, it is all about experiences, isn’t it? Our social media experiences, while the issue begs for deeper scrutiny and even research, seems to be largely on the downside. We have been hearing more about the problems it’s creating the problems it solves. But it shouldn’t have been this way.
It is not for lack of people who could talk sense about such issues, it’s only that such people prefer to remain quiet and far from the whole thing. Well, in situations where sense and sensibility don’t feature and chaos in all its ugliness reigns no person in control of all their mental facilities would want to be swallowed by the tide of toxic narratives and get involved in ill-thought diatribes.
Keeping names and reputations intact in the social media universe these days is a daunting task, and not always successful. The sad fact is that innocent comments which don’t play into the virtual mayhem narratives are not only unwelcome but those making them would end up target practice material for all sides. You aren’t supposed and even expected to play the ‘reasoning guy’ role who sticks to the facts and facts only. You know what! Facts these days seem to have become what they call ‘subjective’ as one sign of a world gone berserk.
Even what we call ‘truth’ has become so subjective your sun might set in the West while mine sets in the East and there is no way you could convince otherwise. And why should anyone put their necks out in situations where they are not only unappreciated but also vilified for trying to make yourselves ‘special!’ Maybe comically, maybe outrageously many think of you as trying to make yourself above the fray and take the spotlight all to yourself. Sad, very sad that in this age of abundant knowledge and info you are expected to play second fiddle to narratives which neither interest you nor motivate you.
Many, far too many, are easily dragged into narratives which are not only wrong but deliberately crafted to satisfy the whims of one side or the other. Yes there are sides even in situations where there is no practical issue to take sides about! Things could be that strange! You might ask as to how could anyone take sides in situations where there is nothing to take sides about! Well,- we’ve been saying that this world is becoming so weird and out of touch with almost anything and reasoning no more rules the day! Just think of finding yourself in the middle of a situation where there is no clear talking point, where no one could tell you in so many words what it’s all about and yet there are sides! Yes, things could be so confusing where at the end of it all you wonder, “What was that all about?”
Of course, no one in their right minds think change would come any time soon in the social media world. The fix here is that at least in the times we are in the social media in spite of all the problems it causes because of the ways we are using it also has many positive, productive and good things. It demands and how and for what we use it.
Of late things on the social media, as far as we’re concerned, seem to have gone from bad to worse. It’s shocking to realize that things that should have been shunned, or flung far and away beyond the reach of every one of us. But no need for that since we’ve made them just other aspects of life.
A few weeks back someone wrote something about some religious practice in the most vile and irresponsible way. You wonder what the person actually was thinking and whether he really was in his right mind scribbling such outrageously despicable. As expected the response was enormous. Most of those who commented at the blasphemous post didn’t hide their anger. Calls for the laws of the land to come knocking were numerous and it was good to see that many keep far from the slippery slope of stark emotions and call for legal processes to be set in motion.
Still there were those who call for vigilante actions and it is sad to note that they go way with calls for violent reactions, perhaps dumb enough not to realize violence begets more violence and never solves problems. Also watching as things turn wrong and dangerous detours as if we’re expecting some overnight miracle from somewhere could cause long-lasting damages and those are the last things we want!
Waiting for a Showdown!
A log time past there was this friend of mine who really liked to live it up around town. Once the work day is over his night excursion begins. That is how it went. Being a bachelor up to the days I last saw him he managed himself very well. He has this philosophy of not employing any domestic helper and did all the chores around the house. And he was so meticulous ad focused about everything he does you can’t help admiring the way he kept his wonderfully kept house. I’d not paint some distorted picture of him and that’s why despite being adamant about keeping to himself …I wouldn’t call him anything close to an extrovert.
No! He could be anything but an extrovert! Of course when he goes on his nights out, which was quite often, he didn’t want any company. He preferred to go it alone and there was a time when a few of us asked him why he did that and wouldn’t it have been of he had someone to talk to. His answer was straight forward, “Having company while you are out having drinks is calling unnecessary problems.” His argument was that while however much he drank he controls his actions and any company means having to deal with the behavior of the person who could have any of the thousand difficult behaviors and he might end up with a spoilt evening.
Well, he meant it because somewhere down the line he had a couple of bad experiences one of which sent him straight the most horrible cell. In another instant, not being given to physical confrontations he ended up with a bloody nose and far more bloodied ego. He vowed to himself never, ever would he go out with anyone drinking and stuck to it. Yes he was that ‘lone ranger’ type of guy who drew his lines clearly so no one would have second thoughts of messing with them.
By the way when we talk of his love with the bottle you’d be pardoned to think he must be having issues with whatever he does for a living. You know the repeated absence from office, mangled up projects under his watch and all that. Here is where one of nature’s strange faces makes its appearance to the fore. He was one of the best and most accomplished employees in the well-paying organization and never did his drinking come in way of his professional performances. He was never late and never did he report to office wearing that post-hangover long face always serious about his appearances.
There is no way you can give the thumbs up to frequent heavy drinking whether the person after all night drinking whistles all the way to home or ends up in one ditch or another. It is a matter of time before the demons of long term drinking come calling.
Now, how did I end up talking about this issue in the first place? Well a few weeks back a friend of mine had this phone call from the wife of one of his close relatives. She says it was an emergency and he should come home after work the same day. The urgency in her voice pricked more than a few nerves of his.
The immediate thought that came to him was that his relative was in some serious problem and she did not want to go into details over the phone. That she did not give him any hint really got the best of him so much that he concluded this was not any other call and he had to rush to her place. But first he tried his relative’s two cell numbers and there was no answer from either. While there were still more than a couple of hours to the end of the working day he just locks his office and without telling anyone he was leaving early, he rushes to her house.
The way he tells it you could sense his worry about the wellbeing of his relative. On his arrival his relative’s wife wasn’t as jovial and beaming as her most of the time was. Her greetings were cold as cold could be and uttered painfully. My friend’s first question was if his relative was alright and he wasn’t answering his calls. She said he was out of Addis for some conference with foreign guests.
That came as a big relief for my friend. At least knowing that his relative was well and still in one piece had this soothing effect on him. Now his worst fears having been dealt with he was ready for what she was going to tell him.
He says for almost an hour or so he did not manage to utter a single word as she never gave him space enough to do so. The story was all about her husband’s heavy drinking, his having developed behaviors he never had, and that most of the time staying nights out giving her excuses connected with work.
Of course everyone knows his relative was fond of drinking and made no secret about it; but not on the level she was telling him. In more ways than one this friend of mine felt as if she as telling him about a complete stranger. He never had the slightest suspicion his relative would change so much. Still he says he was about to take things just as grievances of a distressed wife and could be settled in no time had it not been for the climax which hit him like a Tyson punch, that punch which could have knocked out elephants!
“I know you’d never lie to me; may I ask you something?” Now, she too must have changed or she wouldn’t have used words like ‘lie’ talking to him! He says she could ask him any question. With that the bombshell fell. “Didn’t you know he has two children from another woman?” What! This woman must be seeing the wrong dreams. His relative having children by another woman! Forget it! He just stared at her that set him free of suspicion. “I knew you didn’t know.” Then she tells him she was told the story a few weeks ago and she just wanted to make sure.
“Did you make sure?”
“Yes, I did. I even met the woman herself.” What she said after that didn’t make much sense to him as he had practically stopped listening. The final words before he left her however hit their mark with such force he forgets to say any farewell.
“I’m filing for a divorce.” that was it! His relative hasn’t yet returned from wherever he went and my friend still has no idea how to confront him! But he’s sure of something. It was going to be a real showdown!
THE ETHIOPIAN HERALD SUNDAY EDITION 6 APRIL 2025
