This is a topic we talked about a couple times before. It just doesn’t seem to go away and relationships and friendships which have lived out the tests of time are being challenged in more ways than a few! We have heard of stories of the strongest and firmest of friendships being torn to taters over the most trivial of things.
It is not really about differences of opinions, political or otherwise; it is not about those uncomfortably recurring problems of unpaid loans, broken promises; flirtations with the other half of a childhood friend (Something which seems to happen so frequently that you feel you’re completely out of this world and scold yourself for not keeping pace with all what’s happening openly or discretely.
I mean you guys haven’t met each other for about three decades and nothing should have come in between to spoil that special occasion when you congregate for old times’ sake and while away the time with loads and loads of memories in ways you’ve never felt was possible.
The very idea of getting together with old buddies or childhood chums should be a very rewarding experience since you mostly let the bygones be the bygones and turn things into comedy material since getting together with old buddies for most part is about having good laughs, lot and lots of them too!
A smiling old buddy says; “I wouldn’t forget what you did to me when we were in senior high.”
“I don’t remember,” the other friend, also smiling, says. “What did I do to you?”
“You’ve forgotten after all that you did to me!”
“Don’t blame me. You know age has taken over and we’re no more the young guys we were.”
“Speak for yourself;” another fellow says feigning seriousness.
For the next several minutes the topic changes to aging and the jokes fly around as to who looks real old with suggestions as to the reasons. For long such talks were the perfect menu for the most hilarious of get-together among old buddies. I’m not sure about that these days as most of us seem to be so edgy over the most trivial and even stupidest of things. Then back to that lost memory.
“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten that time when you snatched away my girlfriend under my nose!” The entire group bursts out laughing including ‘the culprit’ and ‘the victim!’
“I didn’t snatch her! She told me you dumped her for another girl and you know, what happened, happened.”
“I’ll tell you what I remember a fourth guy says. “Of course, the punch up between you two. You were like prize fighters. We just couldn’t believe you two fought over that girl who landed a new boyfriend every two months!” laughter, and real loud and lively laughter.
Talks go on bout the school, all the bullying that was going on, about fooling the teachers about undone homework and the under-the-table exchange of pieces of paper during exams. And then there also the talk of individual teachers and how they treated students. That brings me to a fairly recent incident which gave me the idea of saying a few words on the topic yet again.
A fellow was telling us of a get-together with old buddies after more than two decades of not seeing each other except the occasional calls and messages. There were five of them and he was the only one still living in home country. The four came on the same flight from across the oceans. The five were best, inseparable buddies until life took them on their own individual quests. So their meeting was supposed to be one of the high notes of life in times when too many, or too numerous of the wrong things are happening in every corner of this world. The guy tells us the first couple of hours were full of additional memories that would have stayed with them had it not been for the unexpected that happen as they thought life wouldn’t feel any more wonderful.
After lots of talk over things that made laugh their lungs out the topic comes to a few teachers they came across in their junior high classes. Especially, one particular teacher dominated their discussions. Now the story was that the teacher was one of those rare, no-nonsense perfectionists and due to this stance of him he was not very popular among most students. In fact the guy tells he wasn’t even popular among the academic staff except for a few of the brass. Being the type of guy who doesn’t settle for anything second best many students were subjected to all kids of disciplinary actions though there has never been anything physical. He prevented them from attending class for a few days thought this action at times put him on the clash rails with some of the brass; he made them stay after normal class hours and even ordered them to report on weekends and do the assignments he gave them; he deducted points from the many class exams he is said to be fond of giving them.
So talking about him was supposed to be one of those agendas where all the comments and statements would be unanimous. All the five of them had more than a few encounters with him, encounters which during those days gave them all the idea of getting back to him one way or another and make him pay for the suffering he dealt them. So one of them says something like, I have never seen a person as rude, as devilish as him and in always wondered how we put up with him for a whole year.” The smiles and chuckles were universal, well, almost. The guy tells us one among the group had those lines across his forehead and someone had to ask him, “Are you alright?” Any controlled, friendly and playful response wasn’t there.
The guy goes ballistic with rants targeting his friends and calling names, names which they thought no one would have called them in a thousand years. He accuses them of hating the guy not for what he did as a teacher but for who he was. The guy says this was the time when all of them felt the chill from feet to head. They couldn’t believe that after decades he goes as far as blaming them for hating someone for who the person was.
The guy says he was the one who cut into the guy’s rant and declares, “I think we’ve enough for today.” He says no one talked as they settled the bill and here was where the strangest of things happened. They parted without even exchanging the goodbyes as if some omen took control of every inch of their anatomy. He says they haven’t contacted each other since that time and adds that they might never do so.
These days it seems that losing friends is the simplest of things while making new friends being the hardest!
BY EPHREM ENDALE
The Ethiopian Herald December 22/2024