Punching Above Our Weight? “No, Sir!”
“I tried to call you the other day and couldn’t get through to you. This is the second time this happened. Why didn’t you call me back?”
How the hell can you call back when there is no message or missed call alert on your phone! Of course, it might not mean he’s lying about him calling you when he didn’t. Your phone was probably the problem. When you bought it a couple of years back a few friends mocked you that you must have some secret liaison or something like that with some rich guy who enjoys flaunting his wealth just for the sake of getting the headlines, at least on the social media. Yes, ten thousand birr is a hell lot of money for a piece of phone in times when your kitchen is half empty and in couple of months you could rent it to someone because it’ll probably be empty floor to ceiling. So, there is no harm in your friend’s sidekick of some comment as they probably know your inside story.
So, you tell the guy claiming he couldn’t reach you that your phone was not in very good condition and you were having more than a few issues with it. “You know it gives the caller dialing tones and there is absolutely no sound on my end. I’m looking for some reliable person to have it fixed. You know, these days you can’t tell who is who and I don’t want it to end up in the wrong hands.”
What kind of phone is it?” You know he’s trying to find out about its brand and from experience you’ve learned it’s not always okay to answer every question you’re asked in its entirety.
“Of course it’s a smart phone!” Aha! Now that is not only evading the trap set for you but also telling the guy between the lines it was not wise of him to ask such a question since you could have nothing lesser than a smartphone! The brand issue is sealed!
“What’s the brand and for how much did you get it?” well, you have to give him the thumbs up for proving that all the screws upstairs are firm. Still you’d travel half the length of the world to avoid naming the brand. There are so many brands of ‘smart phones’ these days that you wonder from where the hell they are imported! So play it safe.
“I bought it a couple of years back for ten thousand birr.”
The guy looks like he just came face to face with one of those Jurassic Park creatures!
“What? Are you telling me you all people are going around with a ten thousand birr phone in your pockets?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Oh my God! I can’t believe I’m hearing this!” What is wrong with this guy? After all you’re talking about something as trivial (really!) as a smart phone and why was he acting so wired! Am I taking unnecessary risk? “And you’re saying you take it out in public!” Yes, I’m! What is he driving at? This guy must…wait a minute! Maybe I’m being a little paranoid. Maybe the guy couldn’t believe I was not taking good care of an item for which I paid a king’s ransom.
“I know what you’re thinking. I must be taking risks pulling out the phone in public places, with the phone snatchers all over the place.”
“Did you say phone snatchers? For a ten thousand birr phone!”
“Yes for a ten thousand birr phone! What is wrong with it anyway?”
“You and I have known each other for some time now. Listen to me, and listen good. I’m trying to tell you that people no more go around with ten thousand birr phones in their pockets. That’s old story my friend. Even The phone snatchers you mentioned would throw it back into your face once they know it is just a ten thousand birr piece of toy.” No statement from a friend or foe would hurt as this one does. Since when did ten thousand birr become small potatoes! Then comes the knockout spear punch. “Any cell phone cheaper than forty, fifty thousand birr is no phone! So buy yourself one and throw away that piece of toy.”
It is that easy for some isn’t it? I mean the way they try to monetize life to the extent that nothing is okay unless it’s in the tens of thousands of birr. I’ve told you roaming across boutiques asking fourteen, sixteen thousand birr for a pair of shoes. And guys in the know have told me that in some places pairs of shoes costing as much as thirty thousand birr a pair go out of stock fast! Usually many of us are serious about keeping the whole stuff upstairs intact and in order and avid posing such ‘riddles’ as “From where in the world do people get the money to dedicate such shockingly large amounts over things which even for a few hundred birr or so are too expensive for most. Is that what they call breaking the bank!
You might just shrug away such things had it not been for souls advising you to dress QUALITY! (And you thought you already dressed quality!) “Where did you buy that suit?”
“I didn’t buy it. I had it made.”
“And how much did it cost you?”
“About four thousand birr. A very good tailor in our village made it for me.”
“A village tailor! You still wear suits made by a village tailor”
“Yes, I do, I’ve been doing it for some time now.”
“What’s wrong with you?” You’re left speechless. “You, of all people, should have known better. I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll take to a clothes shop where you could buy the best suit in town for only forty,” forty-five thousand birr!”
Believe me, such comments or whatever you call them, aren’t isolated. These days they happen with regularity. And those on the receiving end feel the itches and the aches. It’s not fair. What you’re being advised most of the time is to punch above your weight.
BY EPHREM ENDALE
The Ethiopian Herald December 22/2024