Saying goodbye to bad experiences or people who insist on bringing them up over and over despite your discomfort which you don’t try to hide is the wisest thing you could do. Call it sort of self-defense. I mean bringing up some old narratives you’re not comfortable replaying and making your life worse than it already is an attack, a vicious one too. So you can’t go out with sleeves rolled up and rage in full control of every cell in your anatomy.
What you can do is keeping your distance, getting away as far as you can from those who insist on bringing up this sad and disturbing episodes from yester decades. But life has never been meant to be a nice afternoon on the beach a night out with the boys where laughter comes by the tons and the only thing you could say “Who in their minds wants to leave this life! It’s so fabulous!” So many of those episodes you just stuff in some deep hole and heap all the amount of rocks and debris you could manage could come in ways you aren’t prepared to counter.
Say you’ve this bad experience somewhere down the years or decades, an experience you don’t want to replay in your minds so much so that you take every care not to ever be accidentally drawn into some talk where that memory comes knocking. “Hello!” and that would be the worst “Hello!” of your life. But then as we said the world is never expected to work as we’d have loved it to.
Especially in these days of practically total insanity or near insanity all over the world you just can’t lock out yourself from the unexpected. Say you were in junior high and you get this crush over some girl; a girl who, unfortunately for you, happens to be under the watch of quite a lot of radars at school and elsewhere.
That was how pretty she was. But either by luck or because you played your chess smartly and made the right moves you’re the gold medalist and she’s yours. (Nice for you!) It wouldn’t be news that half the boys in school just want to the nearest cliff edge and throw her over as far as they can and they don’t even hide their disdain.
Love or something close to love as that age means that you’ve been turned into a lion which wouldn’t give away an inch of its territory away. Good for you! I mean defending your territory isn’t the most natural thing to do, wouldn’t you say? Then one particular day this long-time friend of yours maybe because he’s too tipsy to form his thoughts correctly or because he is one of those dummies who think they can always be the life of the party even when there’s no party blurts out almost at the top of his voice;
“Do you remember that time in high school when we were forced to carry you to the nearest clinic?”
What the hell is this dude whom you never liked anyway, saying?
“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten! We couldn’t avenge you at that time because the guy was one hell of a human monster.”
‘No not that! Oh God please take his guy away from me before he destroys my day!’ Of course sadly your day has already been destroyed right from the very first word the guy utters. Then as you remain speechless as that event just rolls in your mind frame by frame. You were to the back of the school for a little pee because all the toilets were damaged and sealed. You practically stop peeing halfway when some voice booms “So you are being a hero! I told you to stay away from her and you think I’m joking.” When you turn your head in very slow motion which film editors would….you already know it was her elder brother. (Not another member of that species!)
Well what happened of the overprotective elder brother has warned you a couple of times to stay away from his little sister. He thinks that easy, that fool! And she being one of the prettiest girl in the school he thinks you can just give her your back never to turn to her again! “Hey dude, go have some walk or drink some hard stuff or something and maybe that would clear your mind!” you sizzle inside. Someday you’ll give it to him in his face in real time and show to him who runs the show when it comes to his ‘little sister.’ Of course long before that day arrives he’s the one who ‘arrives!’ How about that! These elder brothers of pretty girls seem to have some invisible radar attached to them which can flush of you out wherever you might be. No secrecy at all!
Not being the aggressive guy you just try to talk in a very soft voice, so soft you’d even ….it came out from you! “Look, I’m not doing no harm…” you never uttered the opening syllables of the next word when a big stone-hard fist catches your completely unprotected jaw and sends you somersaulting through the air finally landing on the very spot you were reliving yourself a couple of minutes ago. You try to turn and fend off whatever blows and kicks might come your way when a big right foot in heavy boots catches you midsection sending the remaining oxygen or whatever air out of your system.
Yes, the matter is finally solved; you give your ‘word of honor’ “I’ll never, ever come anywhere close to where she is let alone trying to socialize with her!” pledging to uphold your words whatever the problems on the way! And believe me this time around you’re not trying to play some Mr. Bean stuff and mean every word you say.
After some bad experience comes and goes at its own pace you think you’re out of the dark bushes and relishing on the vast expense as green as the greenest golf course when this guy comes and destroys your day. “Do you remember when you were kicked out of your first job because…” ‘Shut, shut, shut up you moron! The only thing you’d have loved to do at the most is beat that fellow black and blue and even an additional color more. You just grumble some incoherent words just to let him know that wasn’t something you wanted to talk about. “I remember how he snatched away that girl from you and you almost had a nervous breakdown.”
“Hey! Hey! What the hell is all this about?” All this is about making you so angry and so disturbed that not only your day but the whole week just goes down the drain. So maybe the best you can do is put up your defenses and deny these guys from enjoying the last laugh! After all, most things are about who laughs the last laugh.
BY EPHREM ENDALE
The Ethiopian Herald August 18/2024