I had this friend who just feels really comfortable giving alms to beggars and helping others in whatever way he can. Not that he has spare whatever to throw around; but he’s naturally a guy who believes giving alms or helping others wasn’t a matter of choice. Especially whenever he comes across some elderly and frail beggar he just dips his hand in his pockets and hands the beggars whatever sum his hands come up with. Once I remember him giving a hopelessly broken up old man the only money he has on … a fifty-birr note. It was much later he told us that the fifty birr was kept to buy some cough medicine for his fiancé who was don with mild cold. To keep the waters still and calm a trio of us put in the fifty birr and the medicine was bought. At that time he was one of the happiest persons on the planet and we weren’t letting that to melt away because he returning home with those empty pockets would have been the worst scenario to happen. Not that his fiancé was given to start mini battles in the house. But when time and circumstances call for it she could be one person with tempers you seldom come across. She comes out with all guns blazing and she wouldn’t settle for taking prisoners! Otherwise she was a committed lady with life principles she observes whatever the circumstances.
But when it comes to giving alms to beggars seldom agrees with her man. She says while there is nothing wrong with giving alms selection was important. You just don’t give handouts or whatever to every shabbily dressed person waving his/her palms under your chin. Our guy was made of somewhat different fabric. He thinks that would be prejudice because all hungry people are hungry and should be helped. Well, that maybe the act of somewhat nice but too nice for this world of conmen and cheaters of all kinds.
While their difference might appear too trivial to be given any more time than a couple of minutes the two still wangled over the issue. He had quite a number of disputes with his then fiancé who chose to take things in strides. If she is giving away a few cents let alone that much money she had to be convinced the person was genuinely poor and needed every cent that came their way. Especially if she comes across the old and the very old out on the streets by themselves there’s no stopping her. On the surface you thought she was some extrovert who doesn’t feel any sadness for people who find themselves on the bottom rungs of life unable to help themselves and their families, if they’ve any. No I told you she was lady of principles and you can’t con her with those sad faces hunched shoulders and coarse and ‘weakened’ voice.
Times are tough and every action matters in determining which way we’re headed and, most importantly, how we actually move. And these days it’s common to come especially across gents moderately dressed and with little, if any, signs of hardship on their faces. And usually that’s where the conmen and women come. By some unfortunate turn of things begging is no more something to be ashamed of, even if the public previously knew you as someone with every nice things in the world waiting for them. But sometimes life hits you in the painful spot unexpectedly and you find yourself without as much of a few cents for a hundred and one reasons. You might have been kicked out of work because of your own faults or because of what you say are “…enemies who have been after you…” for whatever reason. Out of work and with no way of getting another job the last resort for not a few people could be going out onto the streets. Ours being a very tolerant society many feel remorse for those who once had a good life and finally find themselves out in the streets for whatever reason. The conmen and women capitalize on this very emotion of the public and believe me, they succeed in more ways than one. I mean the word ‘CONMAN’ isn’t written on their foreheads.
Someone once told me of a person now departed, may his soul rest in peace, who collect some monthly retirement pay which, so he decided, wasn’t enough for him. Well frankly generally speaking it’s fair to say retirement pay seems to be never enough. Well maybe; it depends in the details. “Enough for what? Of course, most of us would say, to lead a decent life with hot food in your belly and roof over the head with a little extra for coffee with the boys, or girls. Incidentally when you hear about the extraordinary high retirement pay some people collect, you know it is a whole lot of a different story for some.
This guy I was telling you about was a dyed-in-the-wool alcoholic and he needed the extra to quench his thirst. So what does he do? He disguises himself as best as he can and goes to some far-off place from where he lived at that time and the places he worked during his days of employment. And they say he was one alcoholic who never run out of money to hit the bottle. I told you very weirdly enough if you are somewhat moderately dressed and played the sad, dejected, broken down human being you have a better chance of getting money you never dreamed of.
Going back to our previous couple if someone asks me to take sides I’d be with the lady, as she has clearly designed principles and she sticks to them whatever comes, whatever goes. Many of us, to be as frank as possible, are not very much into this principles thing. We may say we’ve principles but digging deeper that’s just about nice and confident-sounding words and no substance. Life principles; that’s what many of us are missing. We need them if only to lessen the many confusions life throws under our feet because by being principled we would have our own already cut and dried answers for many of those things.
Our own ‘cut-and-dried answers!’ Wouldn’t that be wonderful!
EPHREM ENDALE
The Ethiopian Herald June 23/2024