This happened only a few days back. The guy was in some real trouble; the sort of trouble that leads one to wonder “How the hell is going to go out of that!” That was exactly what those close to him were thinking. It is one of those situations where you know there is nothing you could offer to get him out of the hot waters he was in; except maybe offering a shoulder to cry on. But the fellow might be close to anything except to crying. In fact, everything about him appeared to be so jovial one would be pardoned to think, “This guy must have too many lose screws!”
One friend makes his point, “look, we all know you’re in a very big problem. If I was in your situation I would have by now been chained hand and feet in some mental institute.” The guy just laughs like he was told the most hilarious joke. Yes the fellow is crazy! The friend asks, “How come you are so indifferent when everyone is worried for you?” In fact, many have concluded nothing short of a miracle could save him. He then drops the bombshell.
“Don’t worry! nothing will happen to me. No one would dare touch me.”
“What! Sorry but hearing that I’ve to agree with what others are saying.”
“What’re they saying?”
“That you are experiencing some mental health problems.” This only makes him roar with laughter.
“Look, I told you not to worry. I have relatives up there.” Those words coming from the very person who was supposed to be ‘morality in flesh’ send the almost rocks his friend’s spine. He was the sort of person whom people would have pardoned to think he’d reach for his handkerchief at the sight of a dead fly! By the way ‘up there’ means the corridors of power where a solitary signature could destroy life as you know it, or ‘mend’ all your rough edges and spiral you up the social and professional ladder without the consent of others. And this guy is sure no one would dare touch him as long as his relatives are up there. It’s still an ongoing scenario. But mind you he voiced his comments after all the new guys rose to power and some retain their old seats. No one would expect for power to be entirely in the hands of the blessed and the righteous! But hearing people vow no one would dare touch them because they have ‘relatives up there’ isn’t at all comforting.
Old habits die hard, so they say. The fact is wrongdoers relying on people ‘up there’ will be around for quite a while. This is not an issue waiting for an overnight solution. Those ‘up there’ who for one reason or another abuse their power to keep the wrong people in the wrong places have been doing injustice to this poor nation and its citizens. As mentioned earlier this is a problem that should be dealt with in all possible ways. In many places interference of some souls ‘up there’ has practically paralyzed them. Of course, after years of amuse and wrongdoing it would not be like such people would wake up next morning and shout “This is not the guy you said goodnight to last night. No sir! This is a changed man. No more favoritism!”
The boss makes it hell for you for nothing. Well, not exactly for nothing; you aren’t playing your cards right. His verdict is, “That good-for-nothing guy is guilty of talking too much when he should have kept his lips sealed!” I fact it hadn’t been talking much on your part; but you told everybody willing enough to lend you their ears that the new employee was anything but an accountant; “She is the dumbest person I ever came across.” Well that does it! He is ordered to report to the boss’s office. At first the innocent fellow might feel it was about that big, gigantic raise he dreamed about for years. (Everything comes for those who wait patiently, doesn’t it?) No, he wasn’t going to call anybody and break the news. He has to wait for the real numbers. “I got a fifteen grand raise!”
When he enters the boss’s office he isn’t smiling in what we expect is a natural way! Some very gifted sculptor must have worked his hands raw to carb vet het ‘smile’ into the guy’s ordinary face. (I too don’t know what I’m driving at by describing someone’s face as ‘ordinary!’) There is no way nature blesses you with such a smile, not in this m hopelessly messed up world. You can call it ‘The Mother of all Smiles!’
“Good morning sir; I was told to report to your office.” The boss on whose face the darkest frown is chiseled, gestures for the guy to take a seat. No sooner have body and furniture touched the boss growls…
“What do you think you’re doing?” The poor guy is speechless. Did he hear what he thought he just heard!
“Sir, I don’t understand.”
“What’s that you don’t understand? You go around spearing people’s names and you say you don’t understand!”
“Sir, I still don’t understand.”
“I’ve heard you’re going around telling everyone the new accountant knows nothing about accounting.”
“But sir, I was not gossiping. That girl knows nothing about numbers!” If he had looked carefully enough he could have seen it on his face; “This guy should be put in check while there’s time!” His was not a court appearance where he gets the chance to defend himself. The ruling is final and there would be no turning back. It’s all over! Just because he voiced something that flies in the face of his immediate boss and someone ‘up there,’ he’s put on the skillet, on which the boss wasn’t nice enough to put some oil! Hmmm…
“Who gave you the right to judge her? Who do you think you are! If I hear again that you mentioned your name, I know what I’ll do. I am finished!” The fact is that the boss isn’t defending the girl but himself!
Maybe, the girl always thought she would be a flight attendant and things didn’t work out to her liking. Hers is one situation where even the person ‘up there’ could do nothing about as she lacks almost all the basic qualities of flight attendants. And what happens? Well, since the flight attendant plan was nothing more than wishful thinking she has to look elsewhere for her daily bread. So, the guy up there has her thrown into an accountant’s chair! If you think such things are unlikely to happen then just take your time and ask around!
Look, in many institutions there are people suspected of being there for the sheer reason of someone ‘up there’ making that important call. This has been a society where any high caliber official usually gets what he wants with a single and brief phone call. “Look there is a relative of mine who wants to join your organization as an accountant. Do something about it.” The poor ‘official’ on the other end does exactly that and more. One day the staffs witness a young lady in that vacant chair of the accountant who’s rumored to have disappeared with a few grand of company money. But no one has seen any vacancy announcement on the notice board let alone applicants being tested and interviewed. Soon, word spreads about the young lady who must someone ‘up there.’ This is a practice that has been going on for ages. On the very first day at her job the financial terror starts. The lady could be gifted in anything, even flying some modern toy to the space station they have set up somewhere up there. One thing she doesn’t know is accounting. So our innocent fellow was given the yellow card for telling his colleagues this fact.
About our guy who said no one dare touch him because of that somebody ‘up there,’ he means business!
Ephrem Endale
Contributer
The Ethiopian Herald 31 October 2021
