It was a couple of years back. A group of us were in this café whiling away time over cups of coffee. This moderately dressed gentleman comes in and sits at a table near us. There was nothing particular or out of the normal that made you look at him twice had it not been for the way he placed his fame on the chair. It was as if someone threw him from a certain height. Someone who was in a hurry and came in for a quick cup of coffee wouldn’t have done such an injustice to him practically slamming his backside on the hardwood chair as it was a very humble place and those were the best chairs they could do. Once he sat, in the process drawing more than a couple of curious eyes, it was clear this was a man maybe burdened by some uncomfortable thought; you now maybe his boss who never had good words for him once again getting on his nerves or his better half reading him the riot act.
Of course, the curios stare didn’t last long as this was something perhaps most of the customers experienced every few days or even more frequently. Perhaps in his late thirties or early forties, he didn’t seem to enjoy attention his actions brought to him. Mind you at least no one in our group knew who he was and no one cared until he did something which made almost everyone dig their angry eyes into him. His order of a cup of coffee was still being made when he does the unthinkable; he pulls out a cigarette packet and draws one to the shock of everyone including the café staff. He was about to light it when a tiny waitress very cautiously and with her voice no louder than a whisper told him smoking was prohibited.
At first, he glares at her as if she had done him some wrong. Then he dismisses her with an aggressive wave of his hand. Another staff member who appeared to be the head waiter comes and with the politeness he could muster tells the gentleman that smoking was prohibited. This time the person calls him the foulest names and threatens him something bad would happen if he just doesn’t get lost. It was some action which didn’t win him any friends. If there had been any they now would have dropped him. In fact, with the fighting mode, he was looking for a real physical squabble with someone, anyone. A member of our group was halfway up his chair says he’ll talk to him when a couple of hands pull him back. The message was conveyed. None of us craved the peacemaker role! By this time the guy was all horns and fangs!
The tiny waitress who first approached him and was waved away goes out of the café. Not more than a couple of minutes passed when she returned with a couple of young policemen and pointed out the man who at this time was already smoking. One of the policemen tells him it is illegal to smoke in cafes. You know what the guy says? Something like, “It is no one’s business and I can do whatever I want? What! Talking back to the policeman and with such a hostile tone this guy must have either lost his mind or was about to lose it with a couple of police batons getting the best of him. The mood was so tense more than a couple of customers hurried out.
The policeman tried to reason with him but his colleague must have made up his mind as he ordered the man to get up and follow them. The sarcastic laughter of the fellow was so stinging that it infuriated everyone so much that the second policeman in a succession of swift actions violently pulled him up turned him around and locked a pair of handcuffs on him. Believe it or not, some customers clapped! You know what happens then? The modern-day gladiator having been reduced so low starts pleading. The police were having nothing of it and while escorting him away one of them turned towards the customers and whispered the guy was a kebele official.
The guy was probably telling us in that place at the time that he was above the law. The fact is that many think on this line of being above the law because they hold some position in someplace. It is that “You don’t know with whom you’re dealing with!” thing.
A few weeks back I heard a similar story but with a different twist. It was a few guys trying to smoke in a crowded place. This time the fellow who told me about the incident says the cigarettes smelled like anything but cigarettes. And this time there were three of them who appeared to have been drinking heavily. At first two male waiters confront them warning them smoking is forbidden. They laugh like anything, so say the fellow who told us the story. The waiters being young men in their twenties or somewhere around there do their best to control their emotions. They stood up to the aggressive behaviour of the three dudes. But that didn’t help and the whole place was buzzing with tension as anything could happen any minute. The three display signs of being ready for anything like physical confrontation. Then what happened was not something not seen often.
A couple of older and somewhat stockier waiters from the neighbouring bar come in all prepared to take things into their own hands. The tension was growing as they told the three to leave the bar. Now faced with opponents larger and angrier than them the three appeared to hesitate. But having had drinks earlier they held their ground and started talking about their rights to be served. The stocky waiters have had enough, and the fellow tells us that one by one they drag the three brats off their seats things and throw them out into the street. Justice served!
-Taking Sides!
Having relocated to the edge of town several months back after decades of living around the centre of town my idea of having a good time is going back to downtown or other areas closer to the center and having chats with a few friends of mine. I mean those are precious moments which you value as they mostly are free of talk about the darker sides of life, free of talk about events which do a disservice to your nerves and practically spoil your day.
On one such day recently we were having quite a good laugh with a friend when a guy we know came with two other guys; guys who at first sight give you that feeling that these were members of that breed who chase attention wherever and whenever they think they have the chance Such are guys who practically kidnap your agenda with topics you have no interest in. So it was no wonder for us when the three of them pulled the chairs to our table without us offering them to join us. And there weren’t also introductions as to who the hell they were and who the hell we were! Not a nice scenario. Of course, it wasn’t that the fellow we know was any brighter having any form of a chat with people you completely know isn’t very comfortable as more time than not you ran into difficulties for things you say or end up cursing yourself for having to listen to all the rubbish that comes from the strangers.
They ordered beer and to our delight, they were told the cafe doesn’t serve beer at that time of the day, not even barely 9:00 A.M. Though not happy they settled for the hot drinks. Now, I don’t know how the actual talk (They did much of the talking!) got into the particular agenda of what was going on in the Middle East. I can tell you that it wasn’t the sort of agenda I and my friend enjoyed during those times of small talk. The fellow we know says that one of his two friends with a somewhat bushy beard was a well-travelled guy and knew a lot about the rest of the world. Aha, here they come! We were in for some talk from one of those guys who knew everything to know under the sun. (By the way the info. About his being a well-travelled fellow, so we later heard, was that he travels to Dubai a couple of times a year! Well-travelled!)
The fellow indulged in talk about what was going on in the Middle East and we knew our day was already spoiled. His so-called information and ‘analysis’ were so bizarre that we struggled with ourselves not to just jump up and flee the place. Even if your knowledge of the place and all the mayhem currently going on over there is highly lacking you still would know the guy was narrating fiction the only true things being the names of the sides which were fighting, The other stranger was always nodding his head even when the fellow negates himself, something which happened every few sentences.
Then he turned to us and asked which side we supported. What the hell is going on here? Why should we take sides for all we care about events where there is more mystery than hard facts? Of course, even in his highly fictional story, he says he was all for one side and the reason he gave makes you think that the fellow wasn’t only one of those attention seekers; but he must have some mental issues also. My friend stays numb while sizzling inside! All he wanted at that time was to give the fellow one good knock on the head with whatever came into his hands. I tell him that I don’t take sides. He goes ballistic and demands that anyone cannot choose sides! You know what we did? The two of us got up almost at the same time and headed out settling our bill on the way. The so-called discussions were descending into some sort of torture! We later heard that this fellow was taken an expert not only on Middle East affairs but also the important issues of the world! It’s a real tough, tough world! I tell you the issue of taking sides over many things is a very delicate matter even breaking apart the strongest of friendships.
Getting to the softer side of life recently a person back home for a couple of months of vacation asks me “What’s your favourite book?” Ok, that is one question you come across now and then and it might appear to be the most harmless and easiest to answer of questions. Of course, more times than not it depends on whom you’re talking to. And I tell you, for most, it’s a very difficult question to answer as there are many books one likes for different reasons. And also the very fact is you don’t have to have any favorite book unless you’re some book critic or something.
I tell this guy there isn’t any title I can tell him is my favourite as I don’t categorize the books I read on that line. The other problem is you might come up with ten titles and the fellow who asked you knows not a single one of them! That is a situation you might find yourself in more times than you would have expected. Believe me, when it comes to the book reading issue over here things are so muddled up I think the jury is still out. We’re into times when some ‘newly published; guy tells you he never reads Amharic books. The guy has just published an Amharic book of a couple of hundred pages and he says he doesn’t read Amharic books! Yes, things over there are so bizarre. You even come across young people with flimsy books of poems in their names but haven’t read a single book of poetry!
As the fellow insisted I tell him my favourite book I decided it was time for some upper-cut swing to put him in his place. So I say something like, “Are you asking me about the classics or the contemporary novels?” There was that “What the hell is this dude talking about!” and I knew it was what they call a homerun in American football! That did it! He changed subjects!
THE ETHIOPIAN HERALD SUNDAY EDITION 20 OCTOBER 2024