Being Misunderstood & Misinterpreted!

“I didn’t say that! Did I? Why are they twisting things!

I was never talking about those people!”

“No you were talking about them.”

People’s comments or opinions being misunderstood, mostly deliberately, or misinterpreted is the very uncomfortable reality we are forced to live in these days. Interpretations seem to have become subjective. The meanings of words and terms aren’t what they are as stated in the dictionaries but what they are in individual minds! ‘Scary’ wouldn’t be too strong a word! It’s astounding how some people are so gifted in turning around what you’ve said. Yes, that might be common in politics.

Over there it might be some strategic way of splashing cold water on your opponent’s arguments or whatever. It seems almost everyone who has anything to do with politics or what is supposed to be politics does it. That, dear readers, puts us in a difficult position to understand who is who or who stands for what. After all putting the genuine opinions and the biased opinions in the places they deserve removes many of the stumbling blocks which prevent us from having frank discussions. Misunderstandings and misinterpretations of the opinions and statements of others seem to be the Achilles heels preventing us from having candid discussions in any and all fields.

Quite a long time back when everything was too hot to touch this guy was in a certain meeting. There when he gets the opportunity to make his opinion heard he says a few harmless things he thought would give color to what he was saying. Apart from a few humorous quips he throws in a few what-if scenarios, scenarios his mind kicked off, to lend muscle and bone to his arguments. One such what-if scenario was about this incredibly rich guy who was cheating on his far younger wife. According to the story he goes about it for quite a long time without his wife finding out anything, though it was a completely different story when it came to the public; his infidelity was already a household agenda.

As it was a matter of time before the unsuspecting wife caught wind of the story someone breaks it to her that her hubby was sleeping around and he was doing it with multiple partners. According to the guy’s what-if story it was rumored she too was in the marriage for the money. After being told the story it takes her a couple of months to react. Finally she tells dear old hubby of hers she knows all the story about his infidelity and that she wanted a divorce. The guy being so rich usually ‘talked’ with his money and wouldn’t hesitate to arm-twist anyone; that was how he had made sure his wife wouldn’t get more than a few thousands birr from him in case of a divorce.

He tries to convince her to stay because for him it was about reputation he has to keep. In his circle infidelity was nothing more than who slept in whose bed. (From what we hear seldom does infidelity come in the way of tight and strong reputation as everyone seems in that world seem to do it with ease and without having to look back!– that was me speaking!-) the fellow’s young wife says there is no way she would stay any longer with him. Then he writes her a check for two or three million and she is finally tamed. Ha! You know, “Who said anything about me seeking divorce!” sort of being tamed. (Money, oh money!) She continues as a good housewife.

Now this cooked up this scenario while talking about how money could just destroy the strongest of morals and beliefs. Now this young wife who he said was pretty would have no trouble of finding other suitors. There was no danger of her being thrown out into the streets or going back to her family. The question he posed was if her decision to stay after getting the huge check was right or wrong. Discussions ensue with many denouncing her and saying she was in the marriage for the money.

Now this seemingly very harmless story would have been thrown into the memory archives once the meeting was over. But something happens. The guy gets news that some goons were after him. Why! What in the world did he do? Well, this son of a gun cooks up the wrong story which unfortunately knocked some doors. There was this real life couple who almost fit the what-if story structure and the wife whose friend was a participant in the meeting gets the news. She takes it personally! She says the person who said those things at the meeting was referring to her! She wasn’t going to let that pass without him being taught a lesson or two. Mind you she doesn’t know the fellow and learned about his identity through her network of friends and ‘informs.’ By the way this friend who told her the story was later said to have regretted she ever opened her mouth as it was her idea of small talk and nothing more.

The real life rich man’s wife buys a trio of goons ordering them to beat him up good. But as leak has it the news leaks and reaches our fellow and his friends. They take it seriously and discuss what they can do to save him from being beaten up. Going to the police was off the charts as they have no evidence other than rumors, however legitimate the rumors were.

One friend among them who has enough knowledge of the darker worlds of the town tells them to leave things to him and he’d return with some news in a couple of days. Until then our fellow would say in personal lockdown. So this friend works his sources and as he has promised calls the others a couple of days later and tells them there was nothing to worry about. What the hell are you saying?” he tells them the goons have been dealt with and they wouldn’t be bothering their friend. None of them knew how did it and no one asked. Later the news came that the goons who were promised quite hefty money trued to their employer and warn her if she ever tries to contact them or even mention their names they would go to the police with their story. Our guy was saved but the story was as shocking as it should have been.

These days there are many stories of opinions and comments being misunderstood and misinterpreted and what makes the whole thing scary is that most of the time they are deliberate! It is not what you say it is what people decide you say! Chilling indeed!

BY EPHREM ENDALE

The Ethiopian Herald September 29/2024

 

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