(Part Four)
Negotiation is one principle that is taken from Nego Feminism. The notion of the term is the skill of the person to agree to give something or agree to cope with the given situation for mutual interest and harmony. As Nneameka (2004) argued, negotiation can be made with the capacity of the woman to identify the appropriate place, time, and/or manner. In this regard, this section is going to deal with the reflections on negotiations that are made between characters and the situations that they faced in the three novels.
Nervous Conditions which are written by Tsitsi Dangarembga. The story in this novel is narrated by the daughter of a patriarchal family who lives in Rhodesia. The author tells the story through Tambu. As the novel depicts, negotiation was mainly revealed in the family of Tambu. In this family, the only influencing factor that affects the prevalence of gender bias is the indigenous patriarchy in the family and the society of Rhodesia. Women’s subordination prevailed there even through the younger brother of Tambu, Nhamo, who was dominating his two sisters. Their mother Ma Shingayi was very strategic in approaching patriarchy in certain circumstances. Since the family was in a severe economic crisis, to cover the school payment of their child Nhamo, she negotiated this situation or problem by looking for a business that could bring money for her son’s schooling. Tambu told this as follows:
“Fortunately, my mother was determined in that year. She began to boil eggs, which she carried to the bus terminus and sold to the passengers passing through. (This meant that we could not eat them). She also took vegetables-rape, onions and tomatoes-extending her garden so that there was more to sell” (Dangarembga, 1988, p. 15).
MaShingayi had settled the financial problem by doing business that demanded her to pass lots of challenges. Because of her smartness in solving this problem, the family remained safe and bonded relatively. This decision of the woman could emanate from the sympathy of motherhood. But what is important here is that, she is active and responsible in solving the tension without conflicting with the patriarchal system. This means she didn’t leave the problem to her husband. She was cooperative in filling the gap. The patriarchy put the man at the top to rule the house by taking care of only some necessities like housing. Those routine and consumption expenditures are most of the time left for the woman to be covered through their activity in small businesses that are up to their effort. That was why Mashingayi had done her best to cover the cost of her son’s school fees. This helped the family to cope with financial lack. Her decision can also alert other women in the society to be cooperative and be a helpmate of their husbands. We can see that she exercised agency for the sake of her family. This instance illustrates the transition to development and equality.
Even if the system had already set up tasks to be done by males and females in society, Tambu felt that her brother should have his share in the house chores. This is what she called the “division of power”. This is shown in Tambu’s words as: “Next time, I thought naively, Nhamo will catch it himself. If he wants to eat chicken, he will catch it and kill it. I will pluck it and cook it. This seemed a fair division of power” (Dangarembga, 1988, p. 12).
Since her approach was naïve, her brother did the catching and cutting since he was impressed by her courtesy. Thus, she gained what she wanted systematically. This means that she acted naïve so that Nhamo, a male child, did what was not expected of him to get the food that she usually cooked. That is what Nneameka suggests being the way to ensure gender equality in a patriarchal system.
The other incident that shows the prevalence of negotiation was when Tambu decided to collect money by growing and selling maize cobs for her school fees. When she asked her father to give her seeds, he was not willing to do so. In his view, education is not important for girls since the destiny of girls is to take care of their prospective husbands and children that they will bear. That is investing in girls did not help the family to get used to them since girls could be taken by their husbands. But teaching boys is preferred since they stay within the family with their prospective wives so that their salary can be shared by the whole family. Tambu told this to readers as shown below:
“Is that anything to worry about? Ha-a-a, nothing, ‘he reassured me, with his usual ability to jump whichever way was easiest. ‘Can you cookbooks and feed them to your husband? Stay at home with your mother. And learn how to cook and clean. Grow vegetables” (Dangarembga, 1988, p.15).
As his words show, he was forcing her to stop thinking about learning by stating his logical premises. These premises are sourced from the patriarchal system that controls his mind. He said this so that Tambu should be ashamed of asking for the seeds. But she was not impeded by his approach and was determined to be educated. She did not confront her father verbally and; hence, no quarrel had happened; but she used her mind to formulate sound reasons. She remembered her uncle’s wife, Maiguru who was educated but she didn’t serve her book as a plate. Tambu was an observant and intelligent girl who could understand that education was an outlet for women to become independent. Silently she resisted his reproach; inwardly, she knew she was right. Tambu did not intend to raise this again. The conscious mother intervened in the situation and negotiated with Tambu’s father. Thus, he changed his mind as the following passage showed. “My mother of course knew me better, ‘and did she ask for money? She enquired. Listen to your child. She is asking for seed. That we can give. Let her try. Let her see for herself that some things cannot be done” (Dangarembga, 1988, p. 17).
Her mother said this to convince Jeremeh. But otherwise, she knows that Tambu is clever at fieldwork as Tambu mentioned on page 17. Here, Ma’ Shingayi approaches her husband in a way that he could agree. She knows that he allocates homestead chores to be done by girls and women, and fieldwork is supposed to be done by boys. Therefore, to help him approve this, giving Tambu the chance to demonstrate that she knows how to sour seeds is the best thing he can do. That is even if Ma Shingayi knows the strength of her daughter; she told him that these jobs are only effectively done by males. Her husband, Jeremeh, agrees to give the seeds to Tambu not because he desired to see the success of his daughter, but because he was ready to enjoy the impossibility of such tasks by girls. His wife knows this intention of her husband and approaches him accordingly. Hence, she won by convincing him to the point. And he had compromised. Hence, Ma Shingayi succeeded by going around the patriarchal system.
Therefore, the problem is solved through negotiation because the woman negotiated with her man as Nego Feminism proposes. What matters here is identifying the appropriate timing, manner, and place before deciding to negotiate. Since Ma Shingayi was strategically approaching her husband, no one was affected rather the goal was achieved. Jeremeh gave the seeds to Tambu. Therefore, Tambu’s mission was accomplished because of the smartness of her mother in changing the minds of Jeremeh.
As the novel portrayed Tambu faced another confrontation with her father when she asked him to allow her to go to town to sell the maize cobs. But her father didn’t accept that journey again; “I forbid you to go” (Dangarembga, 1988, p. 24). She persevered with her goal to be educated. Her commitment caught the attention of her mother, and she helped her in convincing Jeremeh again. Then, she went out with her cobs to sell. At this time her mother intervened as usual and changed his mind through negotiation skills. Here are her words: “If you forbid her to go, she will always think you prevented her from helping herself,’ she continued, recovering her sense of direction. ‘She will never forget it, never forgive you” (Dangarembga, 1988, p.25).
Since the reasons that she gave were too strong to influence Jeremeh, he changed his mind and agreed with his wife. He says, “Then let her go” (Dangarembga, 1988, p. 25).
Tambu’s mother was good at using the best approach in negotiating with her husband. The researcher believes that this is one way of bringing about gender equality cooperation and development in such a society dominated by a patriarchal culture. Since the man is also important for bringing the equilibrium, it is only negotiation that can help the woman to get the sympathy and readiness of the man in such situations. By creating awareness of women on how to be strategical in dealing with patriarchy, it could be possible to bring about the required change and development in the continent.
From the above discussions, negotiation is reflected in the family of Tambu; that is her mother was seen making a successful approach to her husband. But in the family of Nyasha, the authority of Babamukuru was very strong and close for the appeal of his wife Miaguru. This difference is interpreted as Babamukuru was doubly exploiting his family; he had a patriarchal mind as a local person, and he had a colonial mind as he was working at the top positions according to his loyalty to the colonizers’ identity. Therefore, for him, the culture and identity of colonizers was the one to be privileged in his family.
BY MEKDES TAYE (PhD)
THE ETHIOPIAN HERALD THURSDAY 15 AUGUST 2024
