I’ve this friend who for some reason is sought to intervene in disputes between couples. One thing about him is that his social circle is rather big and no wonder that he is so busy with such things. He has been involved in quests to bring peace between couples and of course quite a lot of tie he has also failed. In fact in some instances both parties have cut ties with him accusing him of favoring the other side. But one thing about this guy is he does his best not to be accused of such things as favoritism and bias.
These days he’s in the midst of attempts to calm the waters between one couple with whom he had been friends for more than a couple of decades.
Now we’re talking about a comfortable couple living well above the middle and knocking on the doors of their fifties. Their three children are all above and the two have mostly to care for themselves. And for the curious public that’s what they appear do; care for themselves. Both were well educated and employed in really high paying jobs. It is one ‘model family’ if there is anything which be called as such these days.
A month or so back the friend of mine gets a call from one of his closest friends who told him that all was not well in the household of the ‘model family. What happened? His friend has no idea. He told him that he was one of the three people who should work to mend any broken fences. Both the man and the woman have agreed to talk to the peacemakers. By the way at that time they both slept in separate beds, in separate rooms.
The three ‘peacemakers’ who also know each other talk among themselves what to do. They agreed that whatever the reasons for the dispute between among the ‘model family’ are they should refrain from offending both parties. Of course one of them was a macho like guy who still in this age thinks that whatever mistakes the husband does the wife should tolerate him. He in fact tries to mention some Biblical verses. But they plead with him to keep his macho beliefs for himself and not ever to bring it up during their talk with the couple.
The couple were indeed ready and willing to talk. They were asked if it is better to talk separately to each one of them or for all them to congregate together. These were one confident couple that they both of them should present. Now the talk with the couple was no easy matter as my friend usually experiences. In most cases the disputing couple more or less try to give greater part of the real reason why they were disputing. Not this time.
Both agreed that the other side wasn’t as they used to be. The wife accused her husband of staying out late something he seldom did. If he stayed out late then she’s probably by his side attending one party or another or just enjoying with friends. With all their three kids abroad there couldn’t be a freer couple to do whatever they wanted to do.
Now the two hadn’t raised any real clear cut reason and they were just scurrying around the bush as they say. One thing the peacemakers learned for sure that the house remained emptier for most of the night both had reasons to stay out late. Now both said that this was the loss of love and caring on the part of the other one. All this time none of them mentioned about possible infidelity or anything that comes close to it. Not even a small hint! Now for the peacemakers that at the start of the whole process was something that soften their hearts. In fact as my friend says it made them believe that this wasn’t a case they thought would be hard to solve. Only a couple of weeks and al will be well. That hasn’t happened. Though there are still appointments for more meetings the very fact that both seem to be holding their ground without reasons legitimate enough to force them part ways.
Now my friend the optimist and the ‘experienced’ dispute solver he was thought nothing was as tough as it seemed to be. Both being well-educated, sooner or later reality, so my friend thought, would hit home. Well, that’s what happened; reality hit home! But in the most unexpected way my friend could have imagined. The info he got about both of them; info he went as far as confirming firsthand blew all his innocent expectations out of this world. Both were involved in secret affairs! This was the last thing he expected and it really got the best of him. He mulled how he could take himself out of this process because sooner or later one of them or both of them would be emotionally wounded. Such a nasty world that no one knows what happened! The people who told my friend the story actually took him to the secret places and he at different times he saw n both I the most …of situations.
He was trying to get over this devastating info when bad got to worse with other devastating information. Both him and her had multiple secret partners! What the hell is going on? How come a couple who have three children in their early and mid-twenties, a couple who had almost everything anyone with sense enough would have to laugh, a couple who were seen by much of the public as model husband and wife sinking so low. This time he refused requests to see this fact for himself as it would prove nothing. One is many as ten! Simple!
Now my friend is lost as to what he should do. He can’t tell the other ‘peacemakers’ about what he found out.
“You know, I just learned some sad and bad news about them.”
“What is the sad and bad news?”
“They both are sleeping around!”
“No. No way! These must rumors by their enemies.”
“I saw the whole thing with my own eyes!?
That, dear readers, would be a different story on a very different level and the last thing my friend would do is divulge the secret as he knows it’s the bombshell with far-reaching devastation.
To tell or not to tell; that’s the question. Is it really? The case is still hanging by the thinnest of strings.
BY EPHREM ENDALE
THE ETHIOPIAN HERALD SUNDAY EDITION 4 FEBRUARY 2024