Say one particular afternoon probably with little to do you loiter in the midst of the mental jumble with a hundred plus thoughts jostling for your attention. Yes, an idle mind isn’t the nicest mind you’d love to have. Unfortunately these days it seems that there are a lot of idle minds as seen from all the nerdy happenings all over the place. Say you read stupidly insane posting on the social media; “Aha! Here is one more idle mind!”
As you jump from one thought to the other for no particular reason something you’ve considered more than a few times comes knocking. “I’ll do it;” you say to yourself. “I’ll go out there and prove the world I’m a good singer.” You think that you’ve a good voice and could easily break into the music world once you make yourself public; meaning climb one of those concert stages, hold the mike in your hand, something which has been a lifelong dream of sorts, and sway the thousands of music lovers for half the night. You’ve also more than once imagined the possible public reaction; “Who is this guy? I’ve never seen him.” “He’s a new one.” “Where the hell has he been for so long with this wonderful voice of his!” And then there are the girls who these days display more skin than fabric fighting for your autograph! Oh man, oh man! Isn’t that what every other dude with a mike in his hand dreams about!
Of course, it’s something you’ve never done and it wouldn’t be an easy decision. You confide to some friends, “Look, I’m going to try my hand in music.”
“Really!”
That’s probably what almost everyone you talk to first says. It’s after that the verdicts comes flooding;
“I think it’s a very good idea. In fact you’re already too late. But you still can make it.” That one’s a good friend; he must be! After all it’s not often you hear such words of encouragement these days. A few join in the chorus of “Go for it boy! Go!” Surely our spirits soar to the highest skies in a universe where more and more there seem to be higher skies than the already ‘highest’ ones! It has been somewhat challenging to tell yourself you’re a good singer and with such consenting voices you are about to put the final seal on it all. In your mind you are playing out all the possible scenarios.
What will that ex-girlfriend who threw you under the bus just when you thought you’ve got your life partner feel when she sees you on TV! That must be one of those incidents which fit the term ‘cold revenge.’ You know the kind of revenge which hits home when the target was having it nice and dandy and life was an ending roller-coaster of laughter and merrymaking.
Then an uncle on your mother’s side who is suspicious of everything and anything makes a house call when you were alone. Before even proper greetings and the usual pounding of ‘this generation’ he growls; “What’s this I’m hearing?”
“What are you hearing?”
“The mother of one of your friends told me that you’re planning to become a singer!”
“Uncle, you know the times are tough…”
“I didn’t ask you that!” he practically shouts. Yes, that’s your uncle! “Answer me yes or no. Is what they’re saying true?” Now what kind of friend is it who tells his mother about friend-to-friend talk!
“Yes, uncle; it’s true.”
What happens next is of course a tsunami of all kinds of accusations, ‘the spoilt generation’ diatribe where parents don’t get the treatment they deserve and the like. You try to calm the waters before all the noise seeps into the living rooms of the neighbors. “But uncle, you‘re not willing to hear me out.”
“Hear you out! Did you say hear you out! Did you even for one minute think what people will say when they hear about this?” (Knowing that your uncle would descend into another round of uncontrollable rage you’d not argue that it’s your life and none of the damned business of others.) Aha; now he’s talking. His anger wasn’t about music being a not-so-promising profession, or no one across their entire family tree has ever taken up music as bread-earner but about what “people would say!” And believe me it is practically impossible to convince people as the uncle that what others say doesn’t matter as long as your purely personal decision doesn’t impact their lives.
“How can you do this to your family after all they have done to raise you?” Believe me such things are one of the toughest road blocks preventing people from making the decisions they should make or taking actions that benefit them one way or another. The “What’ll people say!” curse is always hovering around. But then when it comes to parents you’ve told them about your plans and they haven’t openly opposed it.
You’re a big boy now and it has been sometime way back while you were still in senior high they’ve stopped treating you like that son who in their eyes is always “Our child;” You know the child who never is treated like a full grown adult despite the bushy beard which you have to ‘mow to the roots’ almost every morning. But then while they didn’t oppose they didn’t also openly support it. At least they seem to have decided, “It’s his life, so it’s his decision.” That is what parents are; silence on their part is taken as another form of thumbs-up.
Yes, the “What’ll people say!” thing prevented many from achieving their dreams. You can be the hardest nut to crack and yet when it comes to forming public perceptions about yourself believe me, you too would take your time before making important decisions. But then “What’ll people say!” also prevents us from making wrong decisions and making wrong moves though such scenarios don’t often come these days. Many have fallen by the wayside playing to play the no-nonsense Rambo sort of guy while they should have taken a few more minutes or hours before jumping on the wrong side of the fence. After all, our perceptions the society we live in shouldn’t be blanket categorization.
Ephrem Endale
Contributer
The Ethiopian Herald July 30/2023